2007-06-14 09:56:51 · 23 answers · asked by Curious1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Everyone needs to be adults here. Sounds like there might be some jealousy going on. Just remember who they chose to be with. If it is an ex-husband/wife they are an ex- for some reason. If there are children involved then there has to be communication. If it is, out of the blue conversation then what are you worried about.....if he/she is calling all the time then you might have to put your foot down and ask what the hell is going on! Communication is the answer, talk to your partner and let them know how it makes you feel. If they don't understand then is the problem great enough to make sacrifices or even ending the relationship? GOOD LUCK!
2007-06-14 10:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by cutiepie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I asked a very similar question last week. It all depends on the details of their relationship. How long ago was it, how long did they date, how old were they when they dated, is the ex involved with anyone else, etc... Some people develop strong friendships with ex's and you might want to try and be understanding. If it was the ex from right before the two of you got together, it seems it'd be less acceptable. If your spouse is open and honest with you and the ex, then you might have to try and accept it. Trust me, I know it's hard, but the ex may be a great person you could try and get to know too. If he's open about it, it's OK. If your spouse secretive about it, I'd be concerned.
Good luck
2007-06-14 10:05:37 · answer #2 · answered by myrisbyrd 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to set a boundary for yourself on this issue. None of us know what the situation is. If there are children involved, he will have to communicate about the children. Any other communication is something that you and he need to talk about. It's fine for you to say, "I am not going to be in a marriage where we talk to ex's." Just know that you have to stand behind that boundary and be ready to take action to confirm your stance as needed, up to and including separation.
2007-06-14 10:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by starrrrgazer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't it be okay for my (not that I have one) spouse to communicate with someone from his past? If they are on friendly terms there is no reason not to allow communication, Maybe you need to figure out what it is that makes you so immaturely jealous of your spouse's ex...what are YOU afraid of?
2007-06-14 10:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You already know the answer to this, or you wouldn't be asking. Of course it's NOT okay. Your spouse should respect your wishes. If he is more concerned with chatting it up with his ex than being a respectful partner to you, that should tell you something!
2007-06-14 10:00:25 · answer #5 · answered by tooblessed2doubt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not if they're trying to hide it.
Sometimes communication with an X is necessary, but if they hide it from you it may be suspect or it could just mean that you are being unreasonable and they don't feel like meeting the psycho that lives within you.
2007-06-14 10:01:03 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At what point did he become your property? He makes choices for his life and you make them for yours. Just because the two of you got married doesn't mean that you get to control him.
Yes it is ok. You should learn to be ok with it. Otherwise your temper tantrums and bad attitude over the whole thing are going to show him that you don't trust him cuz that's what it all really about. You have some notion that he still has a thing for her.
2007-06-14 10:03:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it's not okay. Your don't want your spouse to have open ended relationships that were once defined with emotional and physically attachment. It can become very messy for your jealousy and their competitiveness.
2007-06-14 10:03:20 · answer #8 · answered by about2makeamistake 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not enough details. Why do you not like them talking to their ex? Kids involved? Maybe they think you are being childish in your request, and since you don't respect them enough to trust them, why should they respect your childishness? There is nothing that states that exes should be cut out of a person's life completely.
Devil's advocate here, hopefully it will make you think of why you need to make them cut their ex out of their life completely, and if that reason is valid or not.
2007-06-14 10:29:08 · answer #9 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
to a certain degree and under certain circumstances yes. if he and his ex have a child, for example, of course.. that kids comes first, even if you don't like him talking to her. now assuming that isn't the case..then there isn't really any readon for you not to accept it. just talking that is.. not meeting up or going out together. they were once in love as well and there is nothing wrong with still being friendly with eachother. to accept her inside your home? no, no need for that. but why the issue about it? he married YOU!
2007-06-14 10:02:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋