I don't know how to be a wife. I leave messes all the time, and I find myself pms-ing all the time. I'm afraid my husband is going to get sick of me sooner or later. What can I do besides the obvious (cleaning more and taking midol) to make my husband happy?
2007-06-14 09:46:50 · 41 answers · asked by sdgirljen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Find out what makes YOU happy then do that. Your first responsibility is to care for yourself. Only then can you properly care for the world around you, including your household.
Here is a little known secret in most relationships....there is nothing you can do to make anyone happy...even your husband. He is responsible for his own happiness. If you both tend to your own happiness then you will have a relationship of two happy people! What could be better?
2007-06-14 09:51:56 · answer #1 · answered by Brent 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for this entire situation is get more self confidence. Cleaning more and taking Midol isnt the answer. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy in a marriage. Having a happy marriage isnt about clean houses or PMSing women.. most women PMS, people leave messes. You shouldnt be scared over those two small things.
2007-06-14 09:50:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid more cleaning and midol isn't going to do the trick. Take a good look at yourself and find out why you can't get your act together....maybe get some help with that. Then you might be able to take care of your home and yourself better and if you're a happier person others can feel it. Concentrate on your positives and try to play down the negatives.
2007-06-14 10:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, no one just knows how to be a wife. Being a wife isn't perfect and neither is being a husband. It takes work and effort. In time, everything will start to come together and things will be better. It's obvious why your husband chose you. He saw something in you that no one else did. Stay confident and don't let anyone tell you that you are not a good wife, especially yourself. Good Luck!!
2007-06-14 10:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by !~!~Edward~!~! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A happy woman makes a good wife. I'm a wife too, and sometimes time constraints, hormonal ups and downs, and various outside stresses make me feel challenged. But I find my husband is the happiest when I'm happy.
Three suggestions:
1. I recently took up the 21-day complaint-free challenge, and it's been eye-opening. I didn't realize how much I complain. Once I became aware of it, I started curtailing it. Makes me happier. My husband's happier. House still a mess, but it's okay. Also made me aware of how dragging complainers can be.
2. Read Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." It's so insightful and wonderful, and just makes plain sense. And makes you wonder why we women often make things a little more difficult for ourselves and our spouses. Can't recommend this book more. I checked it out at the library, but I'm going to purchase my own copy to keep myself on track.
3. Make sure you have an interest that you pursue on a regular basis, whether it's a dance class or writing or hiking, whatever. Having separate interests gives you something to share with your spouse.
Good luck. And be happy with yourself. Your husband obviously picked you for a reason. Accept that he loves you and you're worthy of it.
2007-06-14 09:57:14 · answer #5 · answered by Squishy 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I face a similar dillemma, and I know how hard it can be and I feel for you. My live-in boyfriend is older than me, so that makes it more difficult. We openly talk about what it is that he's unhappy with we both cool off. I've actually been seeing someone to deal with my own issues regarding self-esteem and confidence because ultimately the things you mention (leaving messes, pms-ing) seem to reflect how you feel about yourself. This is my situation anyway, and if your husband understands that you recognize the areas where you need work he'll be appreciative.
Good luck
2007-06-14 09:57:45 · answer #6 · answered by myrisbyrd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be a good wife it does not mean you must be a neat freak or anything. Do what you can and what you are good at. My wife and I split the chores between what we like to do. She loves to do laundry and make the bed and fold the clothes. We both cook. I clean the dishes and the bathrooms and we clean the rest of the house together. Try to be a team and do things together and it will help, and maybe you will even get along better??
2007-06-14 09:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lorax099 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Animal Crossing Wild World Friend Codes?
2016-07-09 15:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband married you because he loves you not because of your ability to keep a clean house as far as leaving messes your not a child you should have learned to pick up after yourself and if your not doing that know then you need to start. Dont make promises you cant keep because in the end hell know your word doesnt mean anything.
2007-06-14 09:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by mmedina96 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee how long have you been married? listen he is no better than you if you are that concerned ask him let him tell you what he wants,you are a good wife if 1- you don't cheat on him and if 2- if at least you take care of him the best way you know how,not every one is perfect and if you know you are pms-ing then tell him before hand so he knows what to expect
2007-06-14 10:03:33 · answer #10 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋