I have been with him now for 8 1/2 years, we have two children, and now for the past couple of years i have caught him in lies that to the average person might seem meaningless, but overall to me its a lie. I find it hard to trust him and things he tells me now. What do I do? Overall he is a really great guy.
2007-06-14 09:25:08 · 23 answers · asked by bmm1183 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have talked to him about lieing and he says he doesn't know why he lies and promises not to do it again and then does.
2007-06-14 09:48:21 · update #1
I would call him on it. If he gets away with the small stuff, it wont be long before it gets bigger!
2007-06-14 09:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by helper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate to that (minus the kids part and a few less years together). It's not that they are big lies. But small lies or lies of omission are still a test to trust, and if you question him on little things, it will only be a small amount of time before you start questioning the bigger things too. You have a life together, and that is amazing, theres only one thing you can do. You MUST talk to him about it. He has to understand that he cannot be untruthful for the sake of your feelings in the short term - because they normally do lie to "protect us". Instead, you need to tell him that this action gives you doubts on a global level and that this is really important to you. It might take a little bit of time for it to sink in to him (it did mine) but he should understand after a short while that although we aren't upset at the little white lies, we are upset that he is not completely honest with you as you are with him. Good luck.
2007-06-14 09:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by WannaFanta? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's afraid of telling you the truth due to reactions he received in the past, most likely when he was a child. When he was child, and he did something wrong, and lied about it, he probably would get away with whatever he was doing. He probably got punished whenever he was truthful, so now he feels he needs to lie to avoid getting into trouble. This could be a very hard habit to break, he'll need a lot of reassurance from you that lying will bring more problems than telling the truth.
2007-06-14 10:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by cireengineering 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think: If he would lie to you about little things, what makes you think he wouldn't lie about big things?
You guys have been together for so long and have kids. How come you guys still aren't married?
He might have some commitment issues.
You need to confront him so he knows you know he's been lying. And from there, you should be honest. Just tell him how you really feel. If you want to have a good relationship, you need to stay honest with each other.
2007-06-14 09:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is lying to you, he is not "a really great guy". He is abusing your relationship. He is showing a distinct lack of trust and respect in you. If he is lying about little things now, he could lie about big things later. Don't take that chance. Take a day and sit down together and go over your relationship. See why this is happening. Don't wait.
2007-06-14 09:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by r.p. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably did wreck the cardinal rule of have faith, yet you probably did no longer hack his e mail. He left it there so he's at fault too. If that is something that fairly bothers you, you may confront him or that is going to stress you insane, and it will finally come out by an arguement sometime once you're saying, "Oh yeah, nicely what approximately....." Then he will sense his privateness has been invaded and it will all come out that it is your fault. consult with him now approximately it. As for him telling lies and saying that your activity is his,,is he probably embarrassed approximately his activity and is merely attempting to look good? With him being your fiance and not in undemanding terms a boyfriend, i could surely attitude the region, yet do it tactfully.
2016-10-17 06:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by cracchiolo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh.. honey... you really need to take a long good hard look at your relationship with your fiance because... if he's lying about the little things, what else is he lying to you about? This is something that you need to look hard and long at before marrying this guy. You've been with him for 8 1/2 years? Why haven't you gotten married yet? And with 2 children??
I seems like you need to talk with your man and think about this before tying the knot. Good Luck!
2007-06-14 09:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by Operator 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him. Tell him how you feel about the meaningless lies. A lie is a lie no matter how big or small it is. Tell him that you don't know when he is telling you the truth and when he is fibbing.
2007-06-14 09:29:23 · answer #8 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to set boundaries on this lieing -- right now. If you get more involved with the guy -- and you let the little lies slide -- he will let the lieing get bigger and more significant.
That's not good.
You need to talk to him about it right now. Tell him exactly how you feel -- and then tell him the lieing has to stop -- right now..
2007-06-14 09:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by BShakey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must answer your question with another question????Why has he not married you after 81/2 yrs & 2 children...it sounds to me like he has a committment problem & lacks character if he lies in small things he will lie in greater things.
Have a showdown & if necessary leave him & grow in character yourself so your children will have a LIFE that is worth living.
2007-06-14 09:32:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're posesive and a nag. You're making a big deal out of meaningless things. No wonder he lies to you.
Chill out, give the guy a break. If you don't, soon he'll be lying to some other girl.
2007-06-14 10:18:01 · answer #11 · answered by Dirk Diggler 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋