Not the typical "he left me, I still love him - can I get him back" question...
We've been together for a year and a half, and I'm nearing 30, and wanted to get married... one night last week I started feeling anxious and told him that if he wasn't ready to marry me I was going to break up with him. It was a fleeting feeling and immediately after I said it I felt bad (because we'd already agreed to talk about marriage once we'd been together for 2 years) He said he wasn't ready yet, so I went to a hotel the next day, saying I couldn't wait.
I didn't really want to leave him, and I called him that within hours of leaving. I asked to come home and apologized for giving him an ultimatum. He took me back, but has since been distant, unsure of his feelings and said he doesn't know if it will work out. He wants to spend a week apart to get some space. I'm ok with that, but I want to show him I still love him and that he can trust me again. How can I regain his confidence?
2007-06-14 09:09:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give him the time and don't call him. That's the ONLY way you can gain confidence. You are too readily available to him. If you believe that he loves you give him that space. If he loves you ro misses you, he will come back.
2007-06-14 09:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gave my hubby an ultimatum when we were seperated...he choose to stay apart..But I continued to say I was sorry and I had no place to act that way and now we are back together, feels weird but at the same time I'm home.
2007-06-14 16:17:04 · answer #2 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Notice how all the men are saying forget about it.. Maybe there's a reason... I think I dated this guy you're talking about; kidding... Seriously, it doesn't sound like he's going to change his mind about getting married to you...Let this guy go and look for someone else... I did and I'm happy.
2007-06-14 17:00:03 · answer #3 · answered by Karla Marx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BE PATIENT! This seems to be hard for you, but bite your tounge and go with the flow. Just enjoy the time you do spend with him and don't stress about everything. It will all fall into place. Respect him and your agreement. Best wishes!
2007-06-14 16:16:36 · answer #4 · answered by juggalizzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You havent blown it yet. 2 years is not too long to wait. You have to show him that you are willing to work on you first then work on getting married later.
2007-06-14 16:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't because honestly you have no confidence in him. You are wasting your life here, with a guy who has no intention of being married. You are going to get exactly what you have asked for, a guy who doesn't want to get married. If you want to get married, you have to find someone else.
2007-06-14 16:13:46 · answer #6 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion, you can't. He's not likely to marry you, otherwise he wouldn't have gotten the agreement from you to wait two years.
Sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I doubt he's going to suddenly feel like getting married in six months.
2007-06-14 16:15:22 · answer #7 · answered by Galaxie500XL 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You apologized. Thats all you can do...Maybe a little showering of love and affection and serious a** kissing might be in order as well.
2007-06-14 16:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by bellesnail 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i think that he already knows that you love him but to tell you the truth i think that you rushed into marriage and now it doesn't matter how much you love him but how much he loves you and if he wants a break maybe it not that much!
2007-06-14 16:24:51 · answer #9 · answered by kemmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ready for committment, he is not. It may be time to look for other men who are ready and willing to love on you. I bet there are lots of men who would love to pamper you with their hands.
2007-06-14 16:14:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋