i am married and love a married man. He says he loves me very much and cant live without me. he is 42 years old and has also a kid. I am 29 years old and have 2 kids. But at the same time he does nothing to leave her wife inspite of fact that i am ready for divorcing any time. But every time i am asking the question abouy your future he biases from the question and tries to convince me with beautiful words that he really loves me. He cant live her because her wife is respectable woman with good career opportunites and she is 35 years old. What shall i do? i love him so much. we are together secretly about 6 months.
2007-06-14 09:07:44 · 66 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are a whore
2007-06-14 09:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by chrisj7682 2 · 7⤊ 3⤋
You need to stay away from the man as he is only using you. If he says that he can't live without you then he would leave his wife and then get divorced. He does not love you and is most likely using you for sex. You need to get things right with your own marriage and stop worrying so much about the other man and his wife. You are a married woman and have children to think about. If your marriage does not work and you get divorced do not get involved with another married man. They are not worth it.
2007-06-14 09:22:29 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a relationship such as yours, when you say love it translates into you're everything your husband is lacking. Seems as though he's just a smooth talker who wants options, and you don't seem comfortable being an option. It's better to just end this relationship with him and cherish the fond memories that you two have created in the last 6 months, it'll just lead to future heartbreak. Think about it this way, your relationship status' together (both are married), how easy would it be for him to move on from you, and is this what you really want?
2007-06-14 09:13:41 · answer #3 · answered by Experienced Male named Mike 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just get your divorce and let your husband out of the marriage so he can move on and have a happy life. Don't wait for a married man to leave his wife, it rarely happens as he will have to pay dearly financially and otherwise. He has a wife and a kid? Don't you care about that? You are setting yourself up for heart break. Let your husband off the hook and find a great UNattached man to be with. You will be happier and more content. You say he can't live without you, but he is if he is still with his wife. He could leave her if he really wanted to, and her career and respectibility have nothing to do with it. Smarten up and stay away from him.You will end up hurting alot of people if you continue. You will not win.
2007-06-14 09:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by casey308 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him go, and the sooner the better. (sorry)
I'm sure he really does love you, but I was in almost this same situation (I'm 28, but no kids), and waited secretly for 2 years. He told me in the most believing way that he loved me and only me, and that he was going to get a divorce, but he kept putting it off because of one reason or another. He was never able to leave his wife (she was also successful), but surprisingly kept asking me to wait! The hardest part was that I loved him so much, and I knew from the bottom of my heart that he really did love me back. We had great times together. The fact was that although we did love each other, he was not willing to take the judgment of his peers and family for leaving his wife... so he just didn't do it. (He tried to get her to leave him, by acting distant and uncaring! Which of course didn't work because she loved him...) It's been 2 more years, and he still sends me occasional emails and text messages saying that he misses me and wishes things turned out differently (but he's still married).... After the initial feelings of loss, I got over it and am much happier now, not living in secrets and lies.
If you do love your husband still too, maybe your relationship will improve after you've let the idea of you and the "other man' go...
wishing you the best
-stephanie
2007-06-14 09:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a real dead end. Don't you want more for yourself and your kids than that? Put your self in your kids shoes and ask yourself what is best for them? Have you tried to work out your marriage? This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. If you continue you will hurt a whole lot of people (his wife, his kid). Think, don't feel, but think what will the outcome of this be. If he cheats, will he cheat on you if you are together?
If you cheat now, will you cheat later? What kind of example is it for your children. Why not make this day the beginning of living a life of integrity. Try a new way of looking at this situation.
2007-06-14 09:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a lire, and your a fool for believing him, let alone cheating on your husband. He's telling you he loves you because he can have the neighbors pie without paying the baker. He has a home life with a woman that makes good money, and he don't want to give up the security he has with her. Your a play toy for him.
You need to be a respectable wife and mother. Clean up your act, quit lying to yourself, and ask for Gods forgiveness.
Your family deserves better than you are giving them. Even if they don't know about it.
Sounds like your in Lust not Love.
2007-06-14 09:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should leave the man you're having the affair with. If you are ready to get a divorce then do that. You do not have the right to do this to your husband and children. What makes you think that you do? Why would you step out of your marriage, when all you have to do is leave. At least then you're being honest.
2007-06-14 09:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As hard as this is for you to hear, he does not love you, he is only telling you what you want to hear so that he can have some on the side, pure and simple. There is a pure and simple way to see if what he says is true or not. Stop calling him, emailing him, seeing him, txting him or anything until he is divorced. Not when he says he filed, not when he says anything but his divorce is final. I think you will find that he will just disappear and you will never hear from him again, unless he tells you he is working on it and would love to see you because he misses you so much. You are being used and he has no future plans with you. When he feels it is getting too dangerous, he will run from you and deny you.
2007-06-14 09:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just answered your own question, YOU HAVE KIDS, didn't any of the vows you took mean anything??? If counseling can't save your marriage the end it but don't go sneaking around trying to selfishly solve YOUR problems. Your a MOM your problems are your familys as well solve them togther as a family and mabye the guy you originally fell in love with will be attractive once again.
2007-06-14 09:14:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give your children to their father, give up your parental rights and go shack up with a creep who doesn't love you, and will never be commited to you.
He has no intentions of leaving his wife. He's getting the milk for free from you. Why should he leave his nice life?
And if your so ready for divorce and to distroy the life of your children, then by all means what are you waiting for....him? gee your gonna be waiting a long damn time.
Go tell your husband you made a mistake you love him and want to be with him and only him. Stop jacking up your kids lives
2007-06-14 09:12:19 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋