can you give me some tips for the care and feeding of a mother-in-law?.....?

Question

How much do they eat a day, how big will they get, should I let her stay inside or keep her outside?

Answer 1

A liquid diet is preferable. This should consist of 90% of its daily intake. Just be sure that it is 80 proof or higher.
The other 10% can consist of anything else solid such as saltine crackers or jerky.
Although it is preferred that be outside as much as possible they are an indoor creature. The best thing to keep destructive behavior at bay would be to provide it with a TV. Have many channels available (although only 1 or 2 channels will ever be viewed so expect the constant complain of nothing ever being on TV).
They do tend to get quite large with time. This is most likely due to the lack of outdoor activity. Clothing with elastic waist bands are best to give room for such growth.
Word of warning, their bites can be quite painful so do not intimidate this creature. If you note aggressive behavior simply drop it off at Atlantic City for some penny slots/behavior modification. Recovery time is usually 12 hours.

Answer 2

If she's anything like mine was, she will be more at home chained out back with a collar on. You should throw her a live mouse every day for food. She will only need to be watered every fifth day because she will drink her pee. That's the way of the mother-in-law. When she starts to smell, hose her down.

Answer 3

I would keep her outside and feed her some taquitos and enchiladas!

She won't get that big, hope your doesn't too!
Hit her in the nose if she tries to bite you, bark or do something wrong! That always work with dogs, so why won't with MIL?!

But most important... NEVER leave her without a leash. We have to keep the enemies close...

Answer 4

My mother-in-law is great and a exception to the rules. She cooks, cleans, does laundry, and cares for the grandchildren. She is the best we keep her in the house and she eats as often as she likes, she is a GEM of a Lady! Best Wishes!

Answer 5

Feed Dieffenbachia regularly.
Have claws removed
Keep outside the house unless very gentle.

Answer 6

verify such as your mom in regulation -she is eighty yrs previous and have self belief me existence is to short to enable little issues get contained in the way at her age she might want to no longer continually save in options issues that she stated-i does no longer enable this sidestep me from talking to her. i comprehend you meant nicely yet contain her in as many stuff as conceivable there are methods to celebrate with out making her sense that she has to pay how about a pot success social gathering the position all and multiple brings some thing to her abode or have picnic contained in the park if she is in a position to pass-the unhappy component is that out of four toddlers you're the in ordinary words individual who does some thing for her-she might want to sense very lonely-do not stay to sense sorry about no longer understanding her she is component of your spouse and kids -in case you've been eighty yrs previous how might want to you want to be dealt with by your spouse and kids is what i'm attempting to assert-inspite of each and every thing sometime you may want to nicely be there too-basically imagine about it.

Answer 7

Ouch! May I suggest the book "The Mother-In-Law Dance." It helped me out a lot. : )

Answer 8

let her stay inside or she'll bite your hand and carry off your loved one.

feed her lots or she'll pee on the carpet.

oh yes... they grow to be VERY large.

give her lots of compliments and she won't growl and bark.

Answer 9

These creatures like to go out and prowl at night, so make sure she is fixed! You don't want to have to take care of ANOTHER one of her offspring, do you?

Answer 10

5 lbs of cricket crap and people's faces with some shampoo. 3 hours apart for 2487 times a day.