Is it ethical to drop a friend, leave a spouse, without giving any explanation?

Question

I had a friend, for example, who had a breakdown, when his wife literally "ran away with his best friend." Neither would ever say how it happened or why they did this to him.
Should a friend be ethically bound to explain his or her reason to another friend, if the first decides to end a relationship? What IS ethical in these situations? What is fair, decent, just?

Answer 1

I think you owe it to someone to give them closure: some kind of apology, explanation, something. It is cruel & cowardly to just disappear without a word of warning. Especially to a spouse. I remember one of my ex-boyfriends telling me that the day after his father's 40th wedding anniversary, his dad packed up all his things in a garbage bag & left in the middle of the night without a word to his wife or kids. Steve heard something & woke up to see his dad going out with a garbage bag. Brutal. You have a responsibility to the people you love & that love you. You can't just abandon them like that. But people do it all the time...

Some people can't deal with conflict or confrontation. It is cowardly to have affairs for instance. If you don't love your partner & are tempted by someone else then you owe it to your partner to be honest & end the relationship BEFORE you embark on another one. You can't have your cake & eat it too. So many people want to have both. They lie & cheat & sneak around. Then they feel too guilty to face their partner & admit what they've done so they just vanish. It is unethical as far as I'm concerned.

Any time I've felt unfulfilled in a relationship & tempted by someone else, I've ended the relationship to start the new one. I may let them down easy (by saying something like "I love you but I don't think we're right for each other. I'm at a crossroads in my life & need to go down a different path..." etc rather than saying "I don't love you & I'm falling for someone else...")

When you sever ties with someone, when you want to part ways with them, you owe it to them to at least tell them why. That is fair, decent & just. To disappear & not even give someone closure will be a scar that will stay with them & never completely heal.

Answer 2

While I feel badly for your friend that lost his wife to his best friend. Who knows ethics these days? Was it ethical for the President of the President of the United States that was a lawyer to lie to a Grand Jury? I didn't think so. Back on the subject my husband left me and our family without a explanation, I didn't have a break-down. He has never been ordered to pay child support or help me in any way and it's been ten years now. Will he ever pay , Oh I think so. Do I care , well yes things could have been ended much better, much less open ended. The best I ever got out of him was" no I really wasn't that good to you." I would hope he is happy , but I doubt it. You know what they say on wall street " if you want a friend get a dog."

Answer 3

I would have to say that it's pretty wrong.

First of all, dropping a friend or leaving a spouse is already wrong. Maybe if you want to break up with them, that's fine, but just leaving them? Wow. And there should be a reason for something as horrible as that. If they were to leave, without leaving a note or some sort of hint as to why they would leave, it's just totally wrong. You're telling the truth in the most subtle way, and that hurts more than telling the truth, plain and simple, because the person being hurt can be left to wild conclusions, maybe doubting themselves because it's their fault that they left.

A friend should explain...it makes more sense that way.

Answer 4

I think it's really immature for the wife and friend to do that. She has every right do what she wants, but it's not fair to especially her husband. Everyone needs closure...an explanation of what went wrong....just for their own sanity. At least have the decency to make a phone call if you don't have to balls to do it in person.

When it comes to the friends you should be able to discuss issues, but maybe she is just too embarrassed right now. Give it time and hopefully she'll come around.

It sucks either way...it sounds horrible for all the people involved.

Answer 5

Everything in this life has a motive, a reason. For every kind of action the human being does requires an explanation, if in those cases you don't leave any explanation the course of the actions will not have any meaning and you will be leaving a great emptiness and without a logical answer what you do in your life, simply it makes you shallow and without direction whatever you do!

Good Luck and see ya!

Answer 6

nicely, first of all i does no longer be married to someone of that personality kind. it is not any longer okay to ask someone to renounce their associates, if the important different had an concern with one or 2.. ok, set some limits and compromise. there is not any room in a healthful courting for that eco-friendly eyed monster noted as jealousy. getting to comprehend what everyone is like in personality, compatability, values, beliefs...and so on has change right into a lost paintings. Many realized this and extra about their companions through courtship and courting. a lot of it is a lost paintings immediately in this age of "allow's play residing house" with out the earnings of marriage. Or... human beings rush to the JP or Preacher till now they fairly comprehend the man they are committing to for existence. it is under no circumstances okay to request an major different supply up their associates. That tells me that the trust is lengthy gone or became under no circumstances there first of all.

Answer 7

No it isnt ethical - or legal for that matter. A marriage is a legal and binding contract that must either be honored or dissolved in the proper manner. Leaving friends behind is another matter - it is not nice, but it isnt unethical. However, a spouse has a legal contract with this individual and it must be handled legally to dissolve it if that is what the person wants. Pax - C

Answer 8

I have been in a similar situation. I on the other hand didn't run off with anyone just repaired my own situation and in a way sacrificed my true happiness. Its very very hard to be in the shoes of those who did this. Its like you want to sit and explain things to everyone but because it is this type of situation people turn their backs on you and just want you to stop. But how can you stop your feelings? In 30 years none of this will matter. Just tell your friend to move on as fast as possible and start making a new life for himself.

Answer 9

ultimatley you should seek happiness in your life....but that does not excuse you from being compassionate to people that are in a weaker position,although survival of the fittest does come to mind....the continuing erosion of the American Culture and deccline of our Society in whole has been progressing....but as Bill Clinton did with robbing the banks,raping the women through his power in office,selling our Nuclear Technology to China,flooding the Country with Crack Cocaine and slaughtering people for their political and religious views,it makes sense to take the good times and damn the world,after all we are all apparenty going to die so why not have as good a time as you can whenever you can?I am no angel,far from it,but I don't personally think even I would just abandon soeone like that,but I guess it depends on why,what was the dude like,what was the chick like that left him...to many variables......he should find a nice hooker...

Answer 10

there are no ethics in play here. neither is fair, decent, or just in this equation. lust is the motivational force at work here. don't expect anything even slightly resembling normal behavior. normal might be the best you could hope for. but i doubt that you will see that either.
the wife and best friend are no doubt in love(in their own minds, anyhow). love or lust, take your pick.
i hope no children are involved. but to appeal to common sense in a case like this is useless.