He asked for MY HAND in MARRIAGE my FATHER said NO! Even when I told my Dad i love this guy.he still says No?

Question

My B/friend is what most Fathers would like their daughters to bring home. He is well educated,(An accountant in the top management team of his company)respectful,well mannered,tall,handsome and never been married before. But not my father.I'm 28yrs and my b/friend is 36yrs. My family and I have been in America for 15years now and i thought my father has left his African thinking but i just found out that's not true. My father believes in bridal price which my b/friend is willing to pay though it's against his American culture.

My mother approves of my b/friend but my father is the other half that has to approve the marriage.

My fathers reasons for saying NO are: (1) his of a different race (2) his older than me (3) his American culture clashes with ours. I told my dad we are in America though, but he doesn't care.

I love my b/friend and he is very disappointed and hurt that my father rejected him. Should i go against my father's wishes?

Answer 1

yes, go against your father's wishes or else you will lose this guy..What Race is the guy..I'm assuming the guy is white because those are the men black men tend not to want their daughters to marry.

Do not waste time, do you know how many women are looking a man like yours. Go ahead at least you mother approves of him..Your dad may eventually come around.

I would have said yes to him, when my dada said no.

Where do you african girls find such good educated white men..Tell me the secret because i have noticed that white guys tend to take a liking to African girls than african American..I want one.. email me the secret

Answer 2

Asking the father for his daughter's hand in marriage is just something very traditional. It just shows he has respect for the father, but do not think that you have to go by your father's decision. You are an adult and can choose whoever you want to spend your life with. Your age difference isn't that big. My mom and step dad are 15 years apart and have been married over 30 years. Different cultures can have problems, but they can also be wonderful because you can experience something new and start your own traditions. This is your future, not your father's and you need to do what your heart is telling you.

Answer 3

I admit to when it comes to asking my soon to be's other half's Father if I could marry his daughter that it was easy for me.

Now I admit I have spent some time around him and we got to know each other before I asked to marry her.

I can understand where your father is comming from his daughter is gowning up and he only wants the best for you. He may believe in the old fashion ways and keep it his family (as he sees it) pure.

I only have one question for you is this the first time your dad has met your BF or have they talked before.

I know for sure I would of gotten turned down if that was the first time I met my soon to be father in law

I would say ultamently go with your heart but at the same time you may just need to warm him up to the idea...

Answer 4

You are talking about YOUR future! If you know this guy is good for you, marry him! I understand your father's concerns, but none of his reasons are valid. You are in America now. Although your culture is importnat and should remain important to you, to live as though you are still in Africa is ridiculous.

Tell you father you love him, but you have to make this decision for your own happiness. Ask him to understand and then give him time. It will all work out in the end. Good luck!

Answer 5

Tough one, if you both really love each other and want to get married my advise to you is sit down with both your parents and explain you love him, he can provide for you and it does not make a difference what, culture, race, or age he is (28 vs 36 is not far apart). Tell your father you respect him but you have to do what makes you happy. If he still disagrees then tell him he will miss his daughter and any future grandchildren you may have. Tell him you love him and you will always be his daughter but your an adult and you know whats best for you since he brought you up right. Then do what you feel is right. Eventually Dad will come around believe me dont know how long it will take but he will.

Answer 6

Your father isn't the one that will have to spend his life with this man, you are. I think that if someone found out that your father expected someone to pay for you there could be legal problems. I would think that it would be the same as paying for a child, completely illegal. I would tell him that if he didn't want you with someone of a different race then you shouldn't have moved here. Older men are usually more mature men. Again, if he doesn't approve of the culture then why live here.

Answer 7

Cultural differences are hard to overcome as you can see your father struggling with it. If you go against his wishes, how will it change your life? Lots of people in the USA don't even ask for parental approval especially at your age. You are going to have to decide what's best for you.

Answer 8

Why do you need your father's permission? You aren't his property. And his objections don't have anything to do with who your bf is as a person anyway. Do they know each other? Maybe if they got to know each other or if he spent more time around the two of you as a couple he might see that your bf is a good match for you.

Answer 9

YES!

In the end, it is YOUR life, you are the one who needs to choose the path best for you. Your father can not do that for you.

Explain to your father that although you love and respect him, this is something that is important to you. Hopefully in time he will see that.

Don't loose the man you love because of your father. You'll only end up resenting him, and possibly missing out on that one true love.

Good Luck!


Good Luck!

Answer 10

You are no longer a child, you are a grown woman, living in America. Even though I know you don't really want to go against your father's wishes, you have the right to be with whomever you choose. This is America, and we have the freedom to marry who we choose to marry. Your father is going to have to learn to accept the person you are, even though he doesn't agree. Marry the man you love, and the best of luck to you.