A guy tried 2 hurt me @ 2:45 AM and I fought him off... what do I do now?

Question

I'm kinda in dis belif of what happened this morning

His 7th phone call at 2:35 am woke me up this morning from a boy I was with a week ago and he said he was in the neighborhood and wanted to see me. I was really happy and though it would be fun to get a kiss and say hi (i'm 19) and went outside to see him

Everything was fine we talked he was a bit drunk, we kissed and he got excited immeditly. I said goodnight and tryed walking back and he grabbed both my wrists and tryed so start forcing me to do sexual things toward him saying he wanted to play. I fought him off me while pulling him to his car, then went inside and locked the doors. he continued to call(didn't answer) and leave scary txts like (now I have to finish myself at home).

I know he was drunk and I know more that what he did was Wrong! I'm happy i knew to fight him but what do I do now?

do I tell someone?
Should i just stay away from him?
I don't want to call the cops but is it better if i do?

I told my friend about it and apperntly other girls she knows have said to her he has been rough with them. I'm not scared for myself but i'm just scared for other people. Plus I invited him 2 my house tonight before all this happened? will he know not to come?

sorry about the grammer errors i just re read it now and my mind isn't thinking straight right now

I can't help but think it's my fault for going down to see him

Answer 1

From a fellow coxswain, I want you to think what you would tell your friend to do in this situation.

You only know what happened that night
You only know if its typical within his character
and most importantly you only can tell if you'd feel more comfortable with him knowing your not going to take it lying down (no pun intended)

I applaud you for fighting him and since you already made a huge step in getting over this, think you should find a friend, tell her what happened and get a second opinion.

Answer 2

If this drunken, horny booty call behavior makes you go from trusting this guy in your home to calling in the law, you have to look at that.

If this guy is a rapist, thank goodness you got away and didn't get hurt.

Just stop dating rapists for heaven's sake.

Drunks do stupid things. All the time you hear about one driving his car head into some sedan with a family and a border collie and a grandma inside. And all you hear about is the awful, tragic details of the loss, and what a loser the drunk was and is and always will be.

But let's face it. It was a human being. It took a lethal drug that is widely available at just about five million package stores, and convenience stores, and bars and nightclubs and restaurants that are everywhere all of the time. We do live in the United States, after all, and we are nothing if we are not a bunch of prohibitionist failures. Face it. We tried to put it in the constitution, but the lushes won anyway.

So this U.S. man of yours up and imbibed way, way, way too much of the damndable, but irrepressable stuff, and then the fool got into a car and headed over to your apartment with a little somethin somethin in his double-vision little mind.

Lucky the whole mess missed all the sedans on the way over.

Now after the human being sobers up and the drunken stupidness is gone, then you can set him down and talk to him as if he were a man who ought to be contending for your time, and you can deal with it. First tell him you don't date men who get falling down drunk and then get behind the wheel of an automobile at 2:30 in the morning. Ask him if he is in the habit of getting falling down drunk and accosting people at their homes. Listen carefully to the answer. If there is even a hint of B.S. in it, tell him to leave and never invite him to come back. Tell him if he comes back or even calls, you will call the police. And then do it.

After he imbibes that tidbit of information, you can go on and share that if he ever does something like that to you again, your daddy/friend/brother/uncle Louie, (whoever) is gonna visit with him in private. (You may have to do something nice for your knight in shining armor, but if he is any good, he will agree to this without too much hassle.) Every girl deserves a knight in shining armor. I would suggest you begin with your dad. If your young man thinks you are joking, have dinner with him and dad. Or him and uncle Louie. Or buy a gun. Or learn Karate. Or dial 911. You have to protect yourself from an out-of-control, violent boy. Or man, if indeed he is that. Only you can decide if he is just a young man who made an *** of himself, and is worth a second chance.)

If you keep seeing this guy, watch to see if he is an alcoholic. In fact, that is the best dating advice anyone can give anyone. Watch to see if you have an alcoholic on your hands. If he is an addicted alcohol user, insist on sobriety and all the work that entails, or show him the highway. And mean it. Then, for God's sake, drink responsibly and return forthwith to the party.

If he is a good guy who just did a stupid thing, you will come to see that over time. But right now, this guy is on serious probabtion. And you have to decide if you should just cut and run. I agree with the advice above that you should get a friend (or a dad, or a friend and a dad) to stand strong along side you, and then deal with this guy. Definitely do not let him into your house alone.

Proceed with caution. He may be dangerous.

Answer 3

The mistake many females in your position make is to try to rationalize the situation and talk themselves into believing that they are to blame. That is wrong. You don't have to be forced into doing something you don't want to do. He had no business assuming you would willing have sex with him just because he was in the mood. To try to force anyone into having sex is wrong. Many men think it is their right to have sexual fulfillment just because they are horny. You should protect yourself and call the authorities. You must make a report. Have it on record, get a restraining order. Many men think "no" means they have to keep trying. If you report it and get a restraining order, he will know then that you meant NO and that you HAVE TO BE LEFT ALONE! Never back down and get manipulated into another encounter with him. You could get raped, murdered, etc. Don't be alone at any time, any place. There is safety in numbers. DON'T talk to him for any reason. If you think you have to be polite, etc., he will take that as a sign from you that you may be willing to be with him. Stick to your gut feeling and avoid him at all costs. Men like him think that they can continue to haunt a woman, to be able to terrorize her until they get their way. They need to be accountable for their actions. Don't even make eye contact with him if you should happen to run into him anywhere. NEVER be alone where he might try to repeat his dispicable behavior. CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER. Don't tell anyone your new phone number--just immediate family. There are some females who get a perverse pleasure from watching someone being tortured in any shape or form. Someone may tell him your new phone number, just to see what would happen. Be careful. Keep your doors locked at all times. I wish you luck

Answer 4

If he is making a habit out of this sort of behavior (as you suggested he is with other girls), someone needs to stand up and report it. You don't have to call 911, you can call the non-emergency line, file a report and ask about your options.

If left unchecked, his behavior might become even more aggressive. The next girl may not be capable of fighting him off.

Answer 5

There is NO excuse for this kind of behavior, You need to report this to the Police and do not go alone, get the other women that have had problems with him and go together and report him to the police and stay away from him, also try to go places with your friends when you can, avoid going alone if possible.

Answer 6

Call the police! If you want to do something legally later, you need a police report now. If not for you, then to stop him from doing it to someone else. If someone in the future wants to press charges, this police report will help them. Don't let it slide! Call the police!

Answer 7

save all the text messages and show it to the police. file a report right away. Drunk or not, a guy should not forcefully put his hands on a woman if she said no.

Answer 8

You probably don't want to be the person who puts him into a horrible situation...but right now you have to think about yourself. Report the incident to the police... And what's more, if you really feel threatened by him, don't allow him to continue doing what he does...

Answer 9

At the very least you should stay away from him. And be clear why you don't want to see him. Also tell your friends not to bring him around you, and let them know why.

If you want to go to the police that is something you will have to decide.

Answer 10

Unless you want this thing to continue, yes, contact the police. By the way, where the heck are your brains in meeting someone that you hardly know outside at that time of the morning....??