Would you leave your husband if...?

Question

Would you leave your husband if he had cheated on you with the same women for a year and you caught him 4-5 times and he still kept it going with this other women .He swears its over this time, but has told this same story before.

What if we have 3 kids together?

Answer 1

Yes I would have left him the first time. Kids or not. Never stay together for the kids, it never helps. Maybe that is the reason that he is still around. I'm sure he probably cares you for somewhat, but doesn't really love you when he continues to do this to you. My mother stayed w/ my father b/c of course she still loved him and he was the father of her kids. She became bitter and all the did was fight all the time. She never trusted him. The house always had tension in it. We felt as if we were suffocating in our home. Us kids hated being home and eventually hated our parents. Wasn't until years later that she left him and for us kids we could finally breathe. You women w/ children tend to forgot the most important fact, the children. Children see, hear and know everything, no matter how much you try and conceal it. They are not dum. Don't you see how this affects your children? Damn the man. Yes it will be hard for you to no longer be married to this man, but in the long run you will feel better. I'm sure you have changed as a person, b/c of the way he is treating you. Do you think that is fair to you? You are better than that. You deserve someone better than that. You will once again find love but not until you let go.

Answer 2

I would probably leave my husband, rather than go through all of that.

One of the most difficult things about being in a relationship is realizing that two people are different from each other. No two people ever have the same needs, goals and desires. And sometimes these differences can cause lot of hurt, pain and misunderstanding. So, while you may not be the type of person to flirt with others, it is possible that your husband enjoys doing so and has little trouble lying about such matters. But regardless of the different needs you and your husband may have, your husband has violated your trust. You have every right to be hurt, upset and angry with him. And these feelings won’t go away until your husband tells the truth about what happened and acknowledges the pain he has caused. Given that your husband seems reluctant to do this, it might be wise to consider counseling. If not dealt with effectively, your feelings, rather than subside, may become more intense and influence other aspects of your relationship. Most couples lack the communication skills necessary to deal with such problems – so it helps to get professional help when it is needed.

If you don’t think that counseling is a viable option, there are things you can do to make the situation better. People who have been hurt and betrayed have an overwhelming need to feel in control. This is understandable. After all, if you can somehow gain control of the situation, you can protect your self from being harmed again. Not only do people want to feel in control, but they also want their partners to understand their pain. People think that if their partners truly understood the pain they caused, they would never act that way again.

This desire to be in control and to be understood, however, often gets expressed in counterproductive ways. People who have been hurt are often overly inquisitive, accusatory and display a lot of negative emotions. Unfortunately, such behavior typically pushes partners further away – it leads to less intimacy and more secrecy, lying and deception. The trick is to express your feelings in such a way that your husband can empathize with your point of view rather than turn away . . .

Answer 3

You are gonna have to leave him. You may be taking your relationship very seriously but he is NOT! The fact that he keeps cheating on you, especially with the same woman over and over. At this point he will do whatever he feels like to you! He has no respect for you because you have no respect for yourself! As for the kids, well, who is going to be around to take care of them when you contract a fatal disease from this cheating man? Not him!!! I guess it's up to you, but you really need to start maybe hanging out with some very confident women and build your self esteem up to a point where you know that you can do "bad" by yourself and let that other woman have his nasty butt. Once a cheater always a cheater. He will do the same to her that he is doing to you!

Answer 4

Uh, yeah! You CAUGHT him 4 or 5 times and it's taken this long? Get some self respect and do what needs to be done. It may be done this time with her, but what about the next one? Or maybe he needs to be caught an even dozen times before he's really done? It doesn't matter how many kids you have together if he can't respect their mother enough to be faithful, think of the example that is being set for them. He'll be giving you support for them, whether he likes it or not. I'm sorry, but I have to keep coming back to this one. You don't have to be the one to leave, kick him out, you have three children to care for and you need your house.

Answer 5

As a human being we all can only take so much! Once u get tired of the lies u will pull out this sense of strength and leave his ***. But right now only u can determine whether u want to stay or go. But to me it seem like u need to let go. All I can say is that, When u are ready do what ur heart and well-being tell u to. Don't do it becuz it is what everyone else says or becuz its what they would do. Do it becuz u are tired of the lies and the pain or what ever reason u feel necessary. Only u know him like that these ppl on here only know the problem not the person.......

Answer 6

I would have left the first time he cheated, but 5? Don't think about staying together for the kids. Live for yourself and for them. Eventually, the real situation will come out and what good will you be to your kids when they see you problematic and miserable.

Remember when they say during flights, "Put your life vest on before attending to your child". That is what you should do. What affects you will eventually spill on to the kids. Kids are different nowadays, especially with the media? They probably won't be so hyped up about divorce.

Answer 7

I think that I would divorce my husband the first time I caught him cheating. It is a known fact that chearters will never change. I think that you should do what is in your heart, but remember that you need to stay strong and realize that your heart may tell you to stay when your brain tells you that it is time to leave. Try and think about what is best for you as an individual. Your answe may become very clear in a short time. Best of luck to you. Hope everything works out.

Answer 8

I wouldn't believe him..

once a cheater always a cheater..

why would u want to stay with this man..why would you let yourself be lied to this many times especially if you said you've caught him 4-5 times..already...twice is more than enough..but 4-5 times is outrageous.

As they say, fool me once shame on you...fool me twice shame on me... YOU'RE just STUCK ON STUPID to really want to stick this out and STAY..what are you waiting for..GET OUT.....Save yourself and the kids..

YES there are children involved in this and i pitty them..
Those poor kids...to have such a bastard of a father.

Get out , get the kids out, file for divorce and tell him he'll never see these kids again. There's not only 1 child involved in but 3... The kids deserve better and you deserve better as well..

The more you eat his lies the more he'll just walk all over you..he already has walked all over you because he thinks i can do what ever i want and i have a wife who keeps her mouth shut and just eats the crap i serve her..

This is not right.

Answer 9

I would have honestly left after the first time. I know that's hard to do and people just say "leave him" but sometimes it's not that simple. But there is simply no way I would ever be able to trust him again. I'd constantly be looking over his shoulder, checking up on him, looking through his phone and email. That is no way to live. I think that sometimes people do just make mistakes and deserve a second chance, but this is not something that I personally could get over.

Answer 10

I would DEFINITELY leave me husband if I caught him diong this with the same woman several times. This means that he really likes the woman and cant get over her. What hes doing married to you is beyond my understanding. But maybe he knows that you fit the wife image while his lover doesnt and he doesnt want to disappoint his family or friends. Or you work and he hopes to make the bucks out of you. OR he just wants to have to people whom he can screw. What your doing with this guy I cannot understand. for you to let your husband do this to you is letting him know you'll forgive him no matter how many times he screw this woman. So as soon as possible demand a divorce to let him know that you've had enough with his screwing.