Children weeping,
people seeking 4 the weak.
So much blood and gore.
A girl pouts,
a poppy sproats.
So much tears are shead,
like blood from the dead!
2007-06-14 07:20:51 · 22 answers · asked by Katja ie tattybow 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Not bad, but give it a try. You're still a teenager, I had the same way to write poetry, read poems, that way you can find some ideas. Keep trying.
Good luck
2007-06-14 08:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by . 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be disheartened by these answers. I have a degree in creative writing and you need to keep writing whether other people like it or not. Practice is key - if you write twenty poems like this, you might find you can take images from each of them to make a whole new poem. Your work has to be crafted and early drafts are a natural part of the process. My top tips would be:
Don't dwell on rhyme, form or structure. Your words can be tweaked into place once your main ideas are on the page.
Concentrate on imagery. Make your reader form the picture you are describing in their minds eye. If you can connect with your readership on that level, your poem will have an impact on them.
Fill your note book with words, sentences, images, etc. The poems can be crafted once you have enough content to work with.
Good luck and enjoy your writing.
2007-06-14 10:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Ali 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well honey it's not my cup of tea but if you ignore the horror content coming from a girl of 14 it is actually very well written, i think if you put your mind to it you could go quite far in literacy : ) Try not to be so gorey though at 14 you should be happy having nice happy thoughts, then again i have a 14 year old son and he gets quite dark now and again take care honey but don't stop writing you are good
2007-06-14 07:40:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not really that good, is it? For a start I don't understand what it means. Also, what on earth is "sproats"?
Good news though - you're still young and have loads of time to practice.
(PS: I write for a living and never, ever pretend something's good when it isn't. Doesn't help anyone).
2007-06-14 07:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by Hello Dave 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
May I suggest you read some more poetry before you seek your poetry career?
Not to be mean, but you really didn't do that good of a job. Try cleaning it up, fixing spelling errors, and making it more uniform.
2007-06-14 07:26:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
oh, it's sad to read about children weeping,
and it's a dreary poem, "like blood from the dead" and the "gore", too dread for me, maybe there was a massacre or what, the scene is dreary to imagine,
I'm sorry.....I'm sad , I can't like a sad poem....
2007-06-14 09:45:09 · answer #6 · answered by pearls & lace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sorry, not up to your usual standard. Misspellings, and texto language have no place here. I think you're rushing things a bit. Take your time, and try to write about other subjects.
2007-06-14 07:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by Barry K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you post, you REALLY need to consider what yo're posting. I'm just going to be blatant, and say "IT SUCKS". I'm 13, and can write way better then that. Perhaps you should reconsider your career in poetry.
2007-06-14 07:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by future_writer_dreamer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't even tell what your poem means. Think more about making it flow and making sense, and not so much on rhyming. Not all poems have to rhyme.
2007-06-14 07:29:01 · answer #9 · answered by TexasPunk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is not bad at all, and I think it is great you are having a go at writing poetry. What would you have titled it?
2007-06-14 07:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by Tuffbrand 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋