CHEATING: My boyfriend and I have different fews on this...see he thinks that cheating only pertains to married couples. He doesn't believe that if he flirts and is "extra" friendly to other girls while having a girlfriend is not to be considered cheating. I think he is WRONG. I feel that if you have a significant other, love and respect them , it shouldn't matter whether you are married or not. CHEATING IS CHEATING!! I told him that he is only trying to convince himself of that because if he did cheat, he wouldn't feel so guilty, therefor convincing himself that he did nothing wrong to clear his conscience.
Am I wrong?
2007-06-14 06:59:29 · 24 answers · asked by ☼ Latina Loca loves Yayo ☼ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To the person who said maybe I should flirt...I can't, I respect him and myself to fool around on him.
2007-06-14 07:05:53 · update #1
I'll tell you what, let's make this really simple. Cheating is anything done in secret from your Significant Other.
2007-06-14 07:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How would he feel if you did this? He knows you care about him and that you have no interest in other men, so he doesn't care because he's SURE that you won't cheat or leave him.
BUT... if you did those things and was often flirtatious and a little friendly with men, then it would start to "wear" on him a little. He would lose faith and trust in you, because he wouldn't like it.
Right now, he thinks he's being cute and thinks it's funny that you're a little jealous, but if the tables were turned, he'd be mad as you-know-what.
Whether or not it's cheating, it depends on the couple. You need to find agreement on this or you two will have a lot of problems down the road just because of this one little issue. And if he really cared, he wouldn't put you through this. He would try to keep you happy instead of making you worry and angry and feel disrespected.
Would he want to be done that way? Nope. Talk to him. Try to work it out. And if he can't get of enough of flirting as a ego-booster, then leave him - all he wants to do is play head games and not grow-up. Give him 20 or so years and you two might be in the same boat by then. Do you have that long for him to change?
2007-06-14 14:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by mo2dajizzo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's the big difference between the sexes. You've just summed up why "proposing" comes so hard to some men, and a few women. It's the piece of paper they look at that makes a marriage, not the feelings and committment before hand. I look at committment as when you care about each other enough to move in together and combine two households into one, not just the i do's that come after. I believe you nailed it on the head when you say he's only trying to convince himself...etc. When you cheat, you cheat, whether or not you have the marriage certificate in your hand or it's in your future.
2007-06-14 14:11:14 · answer #3 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think that flirting is cheating. I do think that it is very disrespectful if he flirts when he is with you. There are also many types of flirting. Some people have a flirty nature and this is their way of being friendly. They mean nothing by it at all. But others just do it to boost their egos. But just consider that when a guy flirts with you, it makes you feel attractive but you wouldn't do anything but accept the compliment and leave it at that. Just don't let him step over the line!
2007-06-14 14:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by christy b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is your boyfriend just a flirt or does he actually cheat? Whether you are correct or your boyfriend is, i think the issue here is that you dont share viewpoints. If he continously flirts with other women and tries to justify it to you - and you are upset and hurt by it and he does nothing to change it - he seems like he may not be the right guy for you. There are men out there who dont flirt with other women intentionally to hurt you and would not stand to allow you to go through this pain. My thoughts are - get rid of him.
2007-06-14 14:05:59 · answer #5 · answered by WannaFanta? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my book flirting is not cheating...but if you're not careful it can lead to that. My boyfriend and I flirt with other people all the time but we know at the end of the day we're going home to each other and we know when not to cross the line. For us it's become a fun game.
2007-06-14 14:27:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you are not wrong by all means! You need to respect yourself and let this one go, because he will most likely cheat when he is married! Run girl don't walk, there is a lot of good men we just got to realize which ones they are....And he is definitely not one of them! Good Luck I hope you take my advice! God Bless you!
2007-06-14 14:05:59 · answer #7 · answered by Sexy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right, cheating is cheating, you don't have to be married only. That is his way of consoling himself. I would not advice you to spend the rest of you life with this guy. After your are married he will find other reasons.
2007-06-14 14:05:26 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think his flirting is cheating. The minute someone asks to meet him for drinks, get his phone number, or sleep with him...he should say, "no, I'm attached." If he's not pursuing them I don't see a problem with his flirting.
2007-06-14 14:03:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have differing views on cheating its best to end it. Because trust me it will spill over into the marriage if you go that far.
2007-06-15 01:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by cynical 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋