forgive your father that you admire and love after finding out that he had an affair? How would you feel knowing after he apologized, he asked you to forget what he done and move forward? Does a father knows that it will not be that easy? He acts like he didn't ruined my life as well as my sister and brother..why??
2007-06-14 06:33:58 · 19 answers · asked by islandgirl06 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People make mistakes. He didn't ruin your life. He just changed things. A million people a year have their lives changed and they get on with it. It is painful to find out someone you love is human, but you still love him. Please don't alienate him, as it will hurt you even more down the road. You are probably young, but you can use this as a lesson on how not to treat your spouse when you have one. Help your sister and brother deal with it as gently as possible. They hear enough bad from your mom. They could use someone that will understand if they don't want to hate him all of the time. Forgive him for your own sake. It will help you heal faster. God bless you.
2007-06-14 07:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by jellybean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a question that only you can answer. He is your father so you will always love him, but the forgiveness can be a little tougher. I found out a month after I got married to my wife that my parents were getting separated. I was really upset because they acted normal the entire time. I found out later my mom had an affair with her first husband because she wasn't getting attention from my dad. Now when I look at the wedding pictures I still get mad because they lied to me about it and put on a show. Granted they did not want anything to affect my wedding day, but it still ticks me off. I still love my mom but have not forgiven her for what she did to my dad. It has been over 10 years now. She gets upset about how things are now & I just tell her she made the bed she is lying in now. While I can relate to your situation, nobody can answer the question you posted except you.
2007-06-14 13:55:57 · answer #2 · answered by sportsfanstl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can frogive. It's something he did that you can't change. Doesn't mean you wont ever look at him the way you use to but I'm sure your mother will have a harder time forgiving him then yourself. So be careful how you talk about it with her, it's a whole differnt ball park. He's your father if he's willing to be there and be your father that's more then some dads so take advantage of it. Even if he has made mistakes.
2007-06-14 13:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by Just Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, your father is human and as humans we make mistakes. Its never easy when someone you look up to makes a huge mistake, but you would be making a huge mistake in not forgiving him and moving on. And to say he ruined you and your siblings lives is going a bit too far. At some point you have to take responsibility for your own life. You ultimately decide whats right for you.
And if you truly love someone - you take them as they are, faults and all.
2007-06-14 13:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by wild_orchid_tx36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father cheated on your mother, not you. I don't see how this could have ruined your life, perhaps if you add some information on how you life changed as a result of the infidelity. He apologized for the affect it had on you, either take the apology or don't. Lastly, your life isn't over so your life isn't ruined it's never to late to turn over another leaf.
2007-06-14 13:39:37 · answer #5 · answered by jay k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen i know that it is really hard for you to hear something like that and I'm very sorry. You should let him know that you are very upset with him. Have you ever made a big mistake in your life and was forgiven by the ones you love? I know it maybe not today or tomorrow but he is your father and you should at least try. You should really ask him why he would do something like that and he should have to answer you because he made his bed and he must know lay in it.
2007-06-14 13:39:27 · answer #6 · answered by donna l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he ruin your life? He is just a person that made a mistake, he did not cheat on you. Although it may have changed your life can you really punish him forever? Give him another chance you will regret it if you don't..... by the time you do forgive, it could be too late.
2007-06-14 13:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. He realized what he's done and admitted to it and is trying to make amends. That's alot more than most people will do. You don't have to forgive him overnight but at least try to begin the process. You only get 1 dad and you unfortunatly have to put up with what you've got. Don't do something you may later regret. Be the bigger person and forgive.
2007-06-14 13:39:31 · answer #8 · answered by urstruly8604 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you kids when this happened? If so, I could understand your reluctance although it's always a good idea to put the past behind you. But if you were a grown person when he cheated, I don't see how that really affects you. It would affect your mother, but since you are an adult, you don't need to depend on the his marriage for your survival. Just put it behind you, support your mother, forgive and move on.
2007-06-14 13:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by artsy_lovely_lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i wouldnt.. my dad had an affai hes still with my mo, i talk to him n stuff still but i havnt forgiven him from inside, when i leave off to get married i will not be intouch with him a lot
so no i wouldnt forgive him, he sounds selfish
2007-06-14 13:38:02 · answer #10 · answered by lebanesebabe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋