My husband and I have been together for 5 years and just recently lost our son due to SIDS less than a year ago. Well, I found out about 2 motnhs ago that my husband had a great emotional relationship that was leading elsewhere with my bestfreind. After finding out he continued to talk to her. Now come to find out he has been talking with women online and on the phone for almost a year (that I know of). Why is he doing this. What am i doing wrong. I feel like I dont know my husband anymore. I am confused on what to do or how to approch this situation. He knows that I know and wants me to blow if off and get over it. To be honsest I am not mentally ready to take in all of this after the passing of my son. I am hurt and confused please help!
2007-06-14 06:32:33 · 21 answers · asked by Princess22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
idk. maybe he fell out of love, maybe he just wants to move on, maybe thats his way of dealing with stuff. all you can do is talk to him about it. guys dont go and just be friends with other girls for no reason, there is something missing.
good luck!
2007-06-14 06:36:56 · answer #1 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I am sorry, Danielle. You are going through one of the worst experiences any married couple can go through -- the death of a child -- and the fact is that many marriages don't survive such a thing. Your husband is as lost and confused as you are. He is merely expressing his grief in a different way. It is going to take a great deal of work to get your husband and your marriage back on track and you probably can't do it alone. You are going to need counseling, first to address your loss, and then to address your individual responses to that loss. Go see a marriage counselor. I think that is the only possible answer if you are to save your marriage.
2007-06-14 13:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off...you have done nothing wrong! Your husband's behavior is neither your fault or a reflection of you. Sometimes it's easier to blame ourselves rather than the ones we love. I can't explain why your husband is cheating. There are many reasons but he should still be held responsible for those actions.
Regardless of the fact that he may want you to "blow it off" you are entitled to your feelings and until they are resolved he can't be so insensitive!
It's time for you to reevaluate your life. Take some time out for yourself. Mourn the death of your son and try to heal. Don't let your husband dictate the life you are going to lead.
2007-06-14 13:44:44 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your loss and sorry your husband is not acting as a husband should. As to why he is doing what he is doing, only he can answer that one for you. What you need to do for yourself is decide how much hurt your heart can take and not allow him to cause you any more beyond that point. Might not be a bad idea for the two of you to seek marriage counseling too. He might be willing to tell the conselor what he is uncomfortable telling you which would then lead to an opportunity for you both to work on fixing whatever it is. Good luck!
2007-06-14 13:40:53 · answer #4 · answered by Uncle Tim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he is a JERK for putting you through that. You should so try to get over him. Don't do the same things to him becuz if you do then you'll be just as low as him... Tell him that he is a disgrace to men and you want out becuz if you don't get out now then it's only gonna get worse. And besides with your best friend. HELLO I don't know about you but friends like that can kiss my a**. I would not go out without a fight. Not fighting for him that is just fighting for my respect. Cuz I'm gonna get mine whether you'll give it to me, or I'll take it. The way I see it ---If anyone can take what I got --they can have it!!!
2007-06-14 13:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberly M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry for the loss of your son. People greive differently. I think your husband is turning to other women because he cannot face the loss he shares with you.
I think you need to talk to a professional, call a marriage counselor or talk to your clery or physican and ask for some referrals. If your husband won't go, go alone. You need to.
2007-06-14 13:40:01 · answer #6 · answered by linda h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously taking the death of your son hard and is seeking any kind of emotional assistance elsewhere. Maybe he feels that he can't come to you anymore because he knows the pain you are feeling. I suggest that you both get counseling, if you are not already doing so. Seek therapy for both your personal selves and your marriage. When you are dealing with the death of a child you have to work extra hard to save the marriage.
2007-06-14 13:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me as if its his way of escaping his life at the moment because he cant cope with his grief. And its not very fair of him to expect you to not only deal with the loss of your child but to have to deal will loosing your husband too because that is what has basically happened.
He should be consoling in you and you should be supporting each other not him turning his back on you and dumping more sh/t on you to deal with.
Cheating is a no no in any situation and if he is not agreeing to to stop his cheating ways im sorry hun but i think for your health you should get rid of him.
He is being very selfish and i really sympathize with you, i had to deal with a cheating hubby too.
And I'm really sorry for the loss of your son.
Take care *Hugs* xxx
2007-06-14 13:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by ☆♥ Tinkz Baby! ♥☆ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not your fault he has made these choices in his life.so first u need to stop blaming yourself...nothing u do can force anyone to do something..and your "best friend"isnt a friend at all even if you cut ties with her he wont.it seems like u need time to pick yourself off the floor ..(ive been right where u are now)i wont tell u just to get over it cause all of this is the worst thing a person can face at at a time like this please right now u are not strong enough to approh what going on not now.and for me im still trying to pick myself up it will take time
2007-06-14 13:42:39 · answer #9 · answered by dlrswalsh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so, so sorry for your loss. It's possible your husband just needed to speak to a third party. I know often I can't talk to my wife about certain things and your loss makes it just that much harder. Try talking to him, maybe both of you see a counselor together. I'd be happy to listen if you ever wanted to e-mail me. I hope things get better soon...
2007-06-14 13:38:27 · answer #10 · answered by vinster82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By staying in that relationship you will never be able to get stable. It's very clear that he does not care about your feeling and my advise to you is to move out, you will only drive yourself into MAJOR depression if you continue to be with him. You didn't do anything wrong.
2007-06-14 13:42:03 · answer #11 · answered by M-26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋