I love my girlfriend but always knew she wasn't exactly my type. We have a child and although she wasn't my dream person, she is someone I have sincerely grown to love. She isn't what I've always wanted with looks but her personality couldn't be better. Plus our life with our baby is great. I've told her before that I don't think its wrong for us to be parents first and lovers second because I would like for us to be good parents to our daughter. She took it bad and thinks that I don't really want to be with her. Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend and am actually considering asking her to marry me but is it okay to ask her to marry me if she isn't exactly my dream person? Do you think it's okay to stay in a relationship, that is good and healthy and loving, even if they aren't the person you have dreamed of?
2007-06-14 05:53:41 · 6 answers · asked by Mann1e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
A dream is just that.... a dream. If you are lucky enough to find a person who is sweet and good to you and you say that you love them then looks should not matter. Looks fade but a true loving person is forever. If you love her then consider your self lucky to have her. She may not be a beauty queen but if she is a great mom and a great friend then you have the bases for a lasting realationship. Hope this helps
2007-06-14 06:16:01 · answer #1 · answered by curiousgirl2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fine and it's the rational, moral thing to do - marry the mother of your child. Just be sure that you know what it is you're committing to - in marrying someone, you are swearing to "forsake all others", even if your "dream girl" walks in the door the day after the wedding.
Being parents first and lovers second can work, regardless of what others may say. There is absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing the baby as number - in fact, despite what society seems to tell us, our kids SHOULD be number one, with all else (including our own happiness and "fulfillment") distant places behind.
2007-06-14 13:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by sylvyahr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two get along and care about eachother enough, I think it sounds perfect :) Usually girls you dream of are fantasies that may not come true. If you two have started a nice family together, I couldn't ask for more. Before you ask her to marry you, help her understand that you were going through a stage that made you question yourself, and now you know she's the one you want to be with. I love it!
2007-06-14 13:01:30 · answer #3 · answered by selena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you have already answered your own dilemma. You love her. She is someone you have sincerely grown to love. Her personality couldn't be better. You are considering marrying her. Your relationship is good and healthy and loving. She may not be the person you dreamed of, but sounds to me like she is the right and "real" person for you.
2007-06-14 13:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by monica_au04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would be surprised how often the "dream" is a fantasy. What you have is a soild, loving realtionship, don't take that for granted. Maybe you need some couples counseling, as well as individual therapy. You are an adult, and a father, you need to give up childish "dream woman" ideas.
2007-06-14 12:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we all have our ideal or dream person. they are not necessarily the right ones for us.
you say you love your girlfriend and have a good life with her and your child. so i dont see any reason why you shouldnt settle down.
before you do get married, do talk things tru and see how she feels about you. Good Luck :o)
2007-06-14 13:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by xaronne1971 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋