i always wonder if its pointless to care about it or even think about it but its just i can never find anyone attractive aside from my spouse and it bothers me that he could think anything lustful about another woman.
2007-06-14 05:22:17 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's perfectly normal. If you're having steaks everyday of your married life, sometimes you crave for a hamburger.
2007-06-14 05:30:41 · answer #1 · answered by x 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Men are hard wired to look for sexual opportunities and seek out sexual variety. It's simply his biological imperative to do so. (Let me also add that just because you're hard wired to like sweet foods doesn't mean that you should eat only sweet foods. What feels natural is not always right.)
Men are designed to want to have sex with attractive women. Does that mean that he should in today's society? No -- of course not, if he's already committed to someone. Many men feel guilty having lustful thoughts about other women. This goes to show that it's not always a character flaw -- it's what men are designed to do. The moral idea of monogamy has been formalized, passed down, and force-fed to us culturally by rulers, religions and -- women -- for thousands of years.
These days, everyone is busy fighting their internal drives because society has advanced and morals have become more developed, and they are reinforced daily, especially when it comes to religion. Personally, it is my opinion that religion -- while religion can be a good thing -- takes everything that your DNA naturally wants you to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong. However, instincts haven't changed -- we're still playing out thousands-of-years-old roles, constantly trying to keep ourselves in check.
To answer your question: Men will /not/ always lust after another woman. Many will and will do nothing about it because they have a feeling that it's wrong -- fighting their internal drive. Many will do something about it. The same goes for women -- women cheat just as much as men. (According to a study published on Dec. 28, 2006, 40% of women cheat as opposed to 34% men. Of course, as with any study, there will be a particularly sizeable margin for error. But those are significant numbers.)
Remember, he's not trying to think lustful thoughts about other women. He's programmed to. It's not his fault. Again, what's natural is not always right. And I find it a little hard to believe that you find no other man attractive... but I've no reason to disbelieve you.
2007-06-14 05:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by hbomb8404 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. Lusting after somebody is a choice. Finding somebody attractive/beautiful/pretty is a different story. There are men that commit to and choose not to lust after anyone other than their own wife. Don't lose hope, there are good devoted guys out there!
2007-06-14 05:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You as a woman, will never understand it because you don't have "nuts". Lust is to men what shopping is to women..we don't get that either so is a wash!
is part of what makes men the animal driven sex maniacs that we are and is part of our bioligical structure. there must be a sex compartment in our brain, cuz we pretty much lust about just any attractive women.
So just accept it!..no point in trying to change us! go with the flow.
2007-06-14 05:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I consider "lusting" to mean instead of merely finding a person attractive, which could lead to a desire to have sex with the person, they imagine or fantasize about actually doing it. So with that said, I will say no, they won't all "lust" all the time.
But, men are more visually oriented than women, so many, if not most, take in the scenery more than we do. I don't think it's necessarily lust. Sometimes I play a game with my hubby while we're out... "Real or not real."
I think women are more likely to be attracted to a person they actually interact with, a co-worker, store owner, contractor, etc. before they get to the fantasy point.
2007-06-14 05:34:00 · answer #5 · answered by cnsdubie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I never think anything lustful about another woman. I am totally devoted to my wife. She is my whole life.
I have made some insensitive remarks that I do need to stop doing that. I promised my self I will be more careful about what i say.
When you really love someone they are the only thing that matters.
2007-06-14 05:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by Steven 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know about LUSTING but I think all men look at other women. I know my husband does and it doesn't bother me.. we look together. Instead of him being like other guys and looking at a girl and keeping it to himself he'll say something like "Hey look at her big butt!" He doesn't feel the need to hide it so I don't mind. He also tells me when he gets checked out by other girls.
My husband has told me about his dreams when he was having sex with other women and believe it or not, that doesn't bother me either. When it comes down to it, I'M the one hes in bed with every night and I'M the one he loves.
It would be silly to think that as human beings we don't look at other people when we get married.
People can take lusting to mean alot of different things so you'd have to be more specific.
2007-06-14 05:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finding someone attractive and acting on those emotions are two different things. Guys are visual it has nothing to do with the emotion. Now if he acts on his emotion then you have a problem. That doesn't mean he shouldn't respect and drool over women in your presence. Don't worry about what he's thinking you'll just tie yourself in knots. Remember he's with you and his commitment is with you.
2007-06-14 05:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by Shinigami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys look and they flirt. Men think about other women whether they're married or not. It's natural. If they act on it while they are dating/married that's where the issue comes in. My boyfriend and I both look at members of the opposite sex and we have fun with it. But at the end of the day we know who we are going home to and we know to never let it cross that line of going to far.
Some men are just smarter than others.
2007-06-14 05:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why does it matter to you where he gets his appetite as long as he comes home for dinner? Just be the sexiest woman in his world...meaning work to make yourself better and most appealing to him, and he wont need to look anywhere else. Remember though that what is arousing to him and what he thinks is sexy will change with the times...Keep yourself up and you should have no problem. You know he's loyal right? So don't sweat the small stuff. Best Wishes.
2007-06-14 05:29:23 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, it's pretty pointless to care or think about it. I imagine, most people have lustful thoughts about someone other than their spouse at some point at their lives; I don't think it's something that can be avoided. It's a normal thing.
2007-06-14 05:40:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋