My husband has never been romantic... never asked me to marry him, never tries to sweep me off my feet, nothing like that. I used to try to have these quiet romantic moments together, like, plan a hike when it might rain, or recreate our first "date"... he never notices things...
Some times i guess I just get sad. I used to be such a passionate person, such a hopeless romantic, life and love was all so mysterious and magical. But its all lost on him, and its like it died in me. Its such a hopeless empty feeling some times.
Not that the love is gone or something... just the magic in my own heart. I cant really discribe it i guess.
Any one else ever gone through that?
2007-06-14 05:05:35 · 12 answers · asked by amosunknown 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I use to be the same way. My wife finally let me know how importance it was to her. So, I mad the effort. I rarely don't get her a card now. It may sound sappy, but that little bit seemed to maker happier. He may not realize that you want or need this, so I say TELL HIM. We males sometimes are blind to such thing, but he & you need the happiness in your live. He may have married you b/c you are more romantic.
2007-06-14 05:13:28 · answer #1 · answered by BTP 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...
In my situation, however, my husband was SUPER romantic for the 2 years we were together before we were married. It was amazing, fulfilling and really fun.
As soon as we got married, everything stopped on his part. By the second year of our marriage he ignored our Anniversary (January), Valentine's Day (February), My Birthday (April), My First Mother's Day (May)... not even a 99 cent card or a verbal acknowledgment... in July I found out he was cheating on me (and that the affair coincided with the change in his behavior... it's not that he wasn't romantic anymore, it was that he was being romantic with his mistress). I tried to forgive him and keep things together... Christmas came and once again nothing... now we are divorcing because it isn't even that the romance is gone -- it is that the love (from him) is gone and with it went the romance.
Yes, when the romance and love dies, it is a HORRIBLE thing.
But, as long as you feel your husband loves you, I wouldn't worry too much if I were you, because as you say your husband was never romantic to begin with. I think he probably just has a different type of personality, and if there was no drastic change in his level of romance then I don't think it indicates a lack of love. Also, since he isn't the romantic type, he probably doesn't even understand the romantic gestures you do in the same way you mean them.
I think you guys could benefit from reading the book "Five Love Languages" because it seems that maybe you are just expressing your love to each other differently, and that you need to learn each others' "Love Language."
2007-06-14 12:13:22 · answer #2 · answered by Heather L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooooeee....a romantic at heart. I can sympathize. I prefer dinner somewhere together. A nice place. maybe a day spend going to antique shops together. That kind of stuff. as far as a hike in the rain, I'm sorry to say the Marine Corps left very little room for anything even remotely romantic about that kind of stuff.
It looks like the burden of romance still falls on you. Never give up trying. Once you stop....expect a life of monotony.
good luck and keep at it.
2007-06-14 12:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not married and do not go through that. However, I have come across several ladies who do feel this way. There are ways to spark the romance back in your life - and he doesn't have to approve or disaprove, because there are things you can do on your own! ;) Try Slumber Parties. Have a party for your ladies night out and invite all your girlfriends! Take some time for yourself. The happier you are with yourself, the more love you will find with him.
2007-06-14 14:50:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some men are just not romantic by nature. They are caring but don't know how to spark up romance and passion. Some take their partners for granted and don't think they have to change untill it is too late. Communicate to him that importance of romance and how it effects you.
Maybe he does not know how important it is to you and how happy it would make you.
Engage some ideas to him like:
-bringing flowers
-Romantic dinners
-Vacation with just the two of you in some exotic desination with no agenda ( ..etc.).
-watch a "romantic" movie together
2007-06-14 12:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by ensoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES. I do step back at times.I don't wonder but i look into what when wrong in the steps that i take in building up the romance .
sometimes being romantic like in the movies may not be working for him.why not .you participate in his dailly activities,sitting down together for a nice meal.talking casually.lot of small kisses when you wake up in the morning or at any time u meet.eye contact when talking.gestures of love is in the air.
start one thing at a time so you dont culture shock his day.sooner or later he will be enjoy feeling the love atmosphere at home.hope you loved holding hands while walking that do wonders too.
2007-06-14 12:18:16 · answer #6 · answered by life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to the romance? He was never romantic to begin with! You settled instead of waiting for your prince charming. That being said, you might still be able to teach him the joys of romance. Romance yourself. Let him see the change in you and it might spark a change in him. Teach him to understand your romantic needs and how it will benefit him. Explain to him that more romance out of the bedroom means more time IN the bedroom. Don't nag. Have a discussion with him and the let it go. If you want flowers. Go buy yourself some flowers. If you want to walk in the rain, go walk in the rain. Realize that men can only enhance your happiness, not make you happy. Learn to be thankful for the things you DO love about him. Maybe you're missing some romance that's already there by being miserable that it isn't out of some fairy tale story. We can't change others, only ourselves. Be the change you want in your relationship. Good luck :)
2007-06-14 12:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, not really. My husband is almost more romantic than I. He's always complimentary, gives kisses and hugs freely, we always hold hands, etc. But I'm wondering why you married your husband in the first place? If he has always been this way and in fact never asked you to marry him, then why did you? You can't complain about these things now, since you knew about them going into this thing. Just buck up and take it for what it is since you know that his love hasn't changed, then just hold onto that. I couldn't do it, but then, as I said, I wouldn't have married him myself. I "must" have affection and romance to survive, it's just in my make-up. My DNA bleeds romance.
2007-06-14 12:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not the romantic type, married someone who isn't either...Things died and so did our marriage.
You can bring romance to your relationship, start off small, you dont want to freak him out...You could leave little notes everywhere suggesting whatever...A quite dinner for two...Use your imagination....Have fun :)
2007-06-15 03:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him if he didn't fulfill your needs? No one forced you to marry a man who never asked you to marry him.
Sorry, I don't have your problem. I see romance in everything my husband does-- he works, pays the bills, takes care of us, protects us.
2007-06-14 12:17:33 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋