my gf of 5 years disappered on my dughters birthday , she had depression problems , my kids are totalled and she left me in a finacial disaster. she is refusing to comunicate with me . she also hapens to work at the biggest law firm in Ottawa, should i try and contact her? it has been 15 days , she has estranged all her family aswell , except her mother who is a real mental case. what should i do , we had al lot of misunderstandings and fights over her problems.
2007-06-14 03:57:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
should i try and contact her? wait out side her work in a suite with flowers? etc ladies some help here please?
2007-06-14 03:57:59 · update #1
the kids are mine from a previous, she was there step mom. they want to see her real bad.
2007-06-14 04:06:05 · update #2
If you love her then you should help her get some mental help. If not then get a lawyer and file for divorce and child custody. Don't leave her alone with the children she is not mental stable and can't be trusted. Also make sure if she is working get child support.
Best Wishes.
2007-06-14 04:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on your children and you right now. But don't give up on her either. Leave her a voicemail or email or even a letter or card every couple of days at her workplace letting her know you still love and care and are worried about her. Or send her flowers or balloons if the money is available, but don't break the bank doing this, simple things mean the most. But for now let her have her space. The kids need you and your attention more than ever now. Make sure they know their mom is ok and she loves them, but is away for alittle while. The facts that she has depression problems and the only person she is talking to is her mom who has mental issues make me wonder if she is feeling like the depression is a mental disorder and her mom is the only one who understands. Just hang in there...I hope it all works out for you.
2007-06-14 11:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by supermom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you have given each other 5 years together, but I think now is the time to move on. Honestly, she didn't disappear, she left you. Obviously she needs help and you seem to be a sincere man that wants to help, but she walked out with no regard to how you or your children would feel. Don't go chasing after her. Thankfully she is only your gf and not your wife. Make a clean break from her her before your children suffer anymore. Your children and you need to come first now. Concentrate on them and getting your life back together. You make a home for you guys and eventually love might find you again. But, I think she might be more harm in the long run then what you and your children need. Be strong.
2007-06-14 12:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by Baby Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your kids can write a letter or send a card to her with your own messages in it. That might do for now. If she's disappeared literally, then you might have to call it in. Take care of your kids, keep in touch with her family, you and your kids can leave a message for her every now and then, asking her to come home. She must have a reason for doing this, and after you're sure your kids are okay, go talk to her if she still hasn't replied yet. Don't worry too much on her, but give more focus to your kids. Still, you will have to try to talk to her and find out what's going on, and if you can be of any help. Just stay a bit guarded, okay? Ball's in your court.
2007-06-14 11:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by Rogee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this woman sounds like she has serious issues, and you should wait it out. You need to think of your kids. What if she comes back, then takes off again. The emotional rollercoaster thing is not right to impose upon your children. The fact that she left on your daughters birthday, without a call or trace, tells me she cares about no one right now but herself. Begin your life like you're moving on without her. Start to get used to her not being there. Focus on your kids. Work on yourself. To bring her back into your life is almost sure to bring a lot more hurt and drama, and there are too many fish in the sea, to settle for a gar.
2007-06-14 11:05:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok,this is advice comin from a woman like you asked for. first i would let her go. you really don't need a nutter in your's and your childrens life . and if the thing that's gettin to you is your kids missing her, then keep them occupied, take them out to museums, parks, anything like that, they'll soon forget about her cos they're young, their lives move on quickly.
also, another point to note is that she left on your childs birthday. if was any kind of normal woman she would never do that. her mothers a "real mental case" this indicates that if your g/f is similar to her, she'll only get worse, so my advice is to protect your family and move on.
don't even contact her, and dont worry either, u tried your best and at least she is in contact with her mother. selfish people hurt others more than they hurt themselves.
and she sounds selfish. forget that woman and move on with your kids. it's best for both you and your kids.
2007-06-14 11:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by Knowledge is Power. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buddy....whats with you. Forget this nonsense. Look...if you get a stone in your shoe, and you manage to get rid of it...why would you look for a rock to wear around your neck instead?
If she's a mental case...as is her mother...let 'em comisurate together. The kids will live. they're kids. get on with your life and be grateful she's bailed. Bring her back and when and if YOU get fed up with this crap...getting her out of your life may not be that easy. Especially if she decides to stay.
2007-06-14 11:02:39 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey if she wants to pull this leave her. But I would try to at least call her and see whats up don't be to pushy just a nice casual type of conversation
2007-06-14 11:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Ritbenstein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋