why when a married man sleeps with another woman.does she get all the abuse. it takes two to tango?

Answer 1

I agree wholeheartedly. The husband is the one who made promises, vows and a commitment to her, not the "other woman". Women feel that if other women didn't allow men to have sex with them, then they wouldn't be able to cheat. Well that is partially true, but what about the man taking some responsibility here? Again, HE made the commitment. He's a grown man. And what bout the men who lie and don't tell the woman he's married? If she doesn't know then she doesn't know. She's been duped too. I think it's because women are desperate, they don't want to leave their husbands and bfs and to make themselves feel and look better they have to be mad at someone so they choose the other woman. She gets to rant and rave and call her a whore, but slide back into her bed with her husband and "work it out". It's just sickening.

Answer 2

Typically the affair sex is the best he ever had and is very hard to not go back to. That's why its treated like an addiction with a cold-turkey strategy. Men tend to rationalize it as this way he gets the sex he needs and doesn't have to pressure his wife into more sex than she can enjoy. For a short while, life is very very good. Things can even improve around the house and within the marriage because a stressor has now been eliminated. Same thing, I was angry with my wife all the time; it permeated the house. Once the affair started it got easier to be at home and I wasn't so angry. As far the emotions involved; it verges on split personality. With your wife you only have feelings for her; with the affair you only feel for her. Once the two know about each other those bubbles of separation collapse and the magnitude of what he's done finally hits him. I really think its the same for women. When I told my EF that it had to stop and that I had told my wife everything *she lost it* and suddenly could not believe what she had done to me and my wife and to herself and her husband. I imagine this is only more intense for a consummated affair.

Answer 3

Having been in both situations with the same partner (I'm sad to say), in hindsight I have now come to the conclusion that it is a hard situation for everyone involved. And by everyone I mean all 3. Possibly too forgiving an attitude for most of you out there, but in one situation or another I'm sure everyone has been "carried away" by the moment at some point. Human emotions are not the easiest to control unfortunately.

If anyone is to blame then for sure it is the person who is in the relationship, but as many others have already pointed out if you play with fire.....

I'm afraid to say that the only way to deal with it is just to ride it out and be MUCH more careful and choosy in the future. Respect the wife/partners feelings and try to put yourself in their place. After all, it could be you next time.

Answer 4

I take it you're on the recieving end? Well that's not always so I'm sure of it. I'm a married woman, and I'll tell you, he'd be out on his ear faster then he could try to think up some lame excuse as to why it happened. That's not to say that I wouldn't seek her out also and exact some kind of revenge, I do not think that there are many women who are so niave as to believe a guy if he was to say he wasn't married. I would generally apply the rule to get to know more about a fella before I put myself about, and surely in that time details about him could be found.
If you have been the one recieving the flack don't expect his wife to leave him, she's blaming you and'll have him back, but if you or whoever this 'other woman' is knows about his marital status then shame on them sista as taking what's not yours is theft!

Answer 5

Because it is easier for some women to blame another woman than looking at the reason why her husband considered sleeping with someone else in the first place. I believe that some women are scared to blame the guy aswell, because they are scared to loose him, as strange as it might sound. After all, it is some sort of "food envy" - the one who keeps him is the winner. Sadly, many think like that.
I totally agree with what you say, it takes two.

Answer 6

Interesting question. A man who has an affair is willingly breaking his marriage vows, but a single woman who is having an affair with a married man isn't breaking any vows. He should hold most of the blame. If she didn't know he was married, she should be forgiven as long as she breaks it off as soon as she finds out. If she continues this relationship or if she knew he was married, she should be held in as much contempt as the married man.

Answer 7

It does take two to tango, but some of these wives find it easier to blame the other woman because they do not want to admit that their husbands are cheating on THEM! They like to think that these women are sluts and that their husbands could not help themselves, and if it weren't for these women, their husbands would be faithful.

Answer 8

I agree with you, the husbands needs to get all the blame... Marriage is about trust, love and total commitment. Therefore he should respect and love his wife so much that there is no problem that they cannot work out together...

Wife's needs to look into themselve too, some of them are not giving their husband their all so he cheats.
Why beat up on the other woman... Deal with your husband and yourself cause..... they both have serious issues and leave the other woman alone

Answer 9

Because you don't see what the married man gets from his wife....

And I think the married man in this situation is much more at fault than the "other" woman. He may have lied about his marital status to her, so she's thinking he's available when he's not. They also usually tell the woman that he's in the process of getting divorced, when that's not true either--but she takes him at his word. I also think that the married man is the one who got up in front of friends and family, and promised to remain faithful to his wife--and is the one breaking the promise. Single women make no such promise to anyone...

Answer 10

personally, I think the man should get the abuse - he's the one that's cheating! Having said that, no one likes the sort of woman who sleeps with married men because she sees it as some kind of ego boost when actually she is just making herself look cheap and can't get a man of her own. I think they're both scum really.