Should i leave him or stay?

Question

I need some advice. Maybe I'm over reacting but I feel like my husband doesn't like me anymore. I know he loves me but i just feel like I'm not attracted to him anymore. He still treats me right he's never disrespected me, but he doen't talk to me the same. I feel like he's keeping things from me and i've caught him looking at porn couple times. Also caught him talking and text messaging with one of our neighbors daughters, calling her babe and stuff. We talked about it and nothing ever happened ever since, but i still have these feelings that he keeps things from me. and the sex is not the same anymore; used to be more into it and now we just do it and thats it. Ever since I had my baby(1 yr ago) he hasnt wanted to do oral sex but he still asks for it. I just feel alone and don't know what to do. Everytime he makes me mad leaving him always comes to my mind, but i still want to be with him at the same time because i love him. Do i make sense? Please help only serious advice plz thanks

Answer 1

I was married 23 years, now peacefully divorced 4 yrs and some things that I used as guidance to see if I should end the marriage or stay in it . . .
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Are you better off with or without him ?
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People are going to treat you only the way you let them treat you.
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Are you holding yourself emotional hostage.
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How much of your self value are you willing to give up just for the sake of having someone around or be taken care of ?
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I'd rather be alone by myself than be alone with in a relationship.
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A person deserves to be loved and cherished as you love and cherish another.
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What kind of role model was this for my kids of what a cherishing marriage should be. When my kids grow up to have relationships...did I want them to think that it's o.k. to be treated that way?
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I like and cared for him...yet my love for him had faded as I'd been put down and ignored by this man for years. By his behavior he was showing that I did'nt really matter to him...that he was simply appreciating my familiar presense and company around the house.
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I cared for him...yet how was I caring for myself by merely existing and not flourishing in the marriage ?
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Those were some things I pondered over and came to answers of. Between that and many conversations with him and marriage counseling . . l saw that I was the only one in the marriage who cared to ' fix ' what was going on . . . so I stepped up and said " no more " and we proceeded the nauseous process of divorce. Yet...I did heal...and I have my cherishing life back again.

I do still believe in love and marriage...yet only if it's right. Not to stay married just for sake of comfort of company.

He changed the manner of which we had once agreed our marriage would be..." Contract rules and guidelines " changed and not held to...so contract was broken...partnership ends.

I wish you strength with thoughts you need to ponder and decisions you need to make to stay or go. It's not easy, yet living in a devaluing relationship is deeply hurtful.

I wish you well.
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Heart hugs to you.
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Answer 2

Have you sat down and addressed your concerns with him? I f you have and nothing's changed then maybe your intution is right. You have to be honest with yourself, do you feel the same way about him, the way you did when you married him? If not, then you should definetly weigh your options because it's just gonna get worse, I'm not one of those people that say stay together for the children, no because it does nothing but make them and you suffer, so if you are really unhappy and dont see things getting better, you need to do what's best for you and sanity.

Answer 3

You love him. You have a baby. Two good reasons to stay. But don't stay without getting help...Get counseling! Find a good marriage counselor, even if you go alone. It doens't sound like he's able to make healthy decisions ie texting a neighbors daughter... He could go to jail. so don't mess around. Talk to a Pastor, a Priest or whatever your faith is, and do it soon!

Answer 4

Take a break soon before is too late. or just get away for a while you need to think about things. don't stay with someone just because you think you can't do any better because i made the same mistake i stay with my ex-husband because i love him and because i was scared to let go. Now things are so much better I'm happy and even if he is not around me and my kids i still feel happier think about you and your kid. Good luck

Answer 5

How old are you? The thing about marriage is it's not like dating. You don't leave just because you lost that loving feeling. You find a way to get it back. Try talking to him instead of posting questions on Yahoo. A little hint... getting mad about it is not productive... just be honest and fix it.

Answer 6

The red flag is in the text messaging the neighbors daughter... that is not a good sign... that would make the decision.
I say you should leave.
Good luck

Answer 7

Communication is the key , You can improve the situation if you talk about it with him,honestly and openly....Its the only way to resolve any suspicions,or doubts,and if issues are not worth resolving then its time to move on,for the childs sake if nothing else...good luck!

Answer 8

You need to ask him to be truthful to you.

Communication is the best advice I can give you.

Texting and pet naming the neighbours daughter is a worry though.

Answer 9

stay with him....marriage is all about trust. If u don't trust him, there's no way to have a good marriage.......