we've been together 12 years married almost 5. have a 3 yr old. For the past 2 years he has been miserable every day. He calls me names and is only nice when he wants sex. nothing i do is good enough. he rewashes the dishes and wipes the counters. if I vacuum he says "you wouldn't know it." same with washing floors. i do 75% of housework and ALL childcare. came home from work after 6 hours chils asleep in clothes with soggy diaper. he has hit me in the past, is very verbally abusive and his moods change from one minute to the next. he's been threatening to kill himself or tells me that I should kill myself. he does all of this in front of child. recently started saying that she was a mistake and he should never have let me talk him into having her. I think he suffers from depression and possibly OCD but refuses to acknowledge a problem and gets angry at the suggestion of getting help. always saying that everyone is the problem especially me. stay or go?
2007-06-14 01:54:50 · 12 answers · asked by deeply troubled 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i should add that i have been divorced once already. married at 17 divorced at 19. have a 17 yr old from that and that if I do leave i'll have to file bankruptcy. i'll lose my house, car and all credit that i've worked hard for.
2007-06-14 02:07:21 · update #1
i should add that i have been divorced once already. married at 17 divorced at 19. have a 17 yr old from that and that if I do leave i'll have to file bankruptcy. i'll lose my house, car and all credit that i've worked hard for. I do work outside that house as well.
2007-06-14 02:07:51 · update #2
Leave him. He won't get help, he abuses you, he insults you, and insults your daughter....no kid deserves to think they were a mistake. Your child is at a very impressionable age. This man doesn't appreciate you, and will only think about getting help once you leave him. If he hit you once, he will do it again. Get out of there before he starts hitting your child.
2007-06-14 02:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by Spicy!!!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've married an unstable, irrational, abusive and controlling man, and to add insult to injury, he is also suggesting suicides and that the child should never have been born?
Did you watch the movie Sophie's Choice? If not, get it. You've married the role of Kevin Kline. (Who I love as an actor.)
But your situation mirrors this movie, and although the movie is terrific, to live it must be horror.
Insist that he see a psychiatrist, and if he won't, leave. Make sure that you have friends and family with you when you leave, because this man sounds as if he could turn rather violent at the news.
Your life and your child's life could be in danger in the future if you stay, not to forget that he is destroying your sense of self-worth and will probably also be abusive to the child.
2007-06-14 09:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go, very very far away from him and as fast as possible. Give him an ultimatdum but only after you've left, he should get help before something bad happens or the child is emotionally scarred for life or you should file for divorce its that simple.
My ex-husband raised his hand to me once, didnt actually hit me, but that was enough for me. I couldnt take the yelling at me about not doing the dishes right, or not cooking how he wanted me too. It was the last straw I left him and we divorced shortly after.
2007-06-14 09:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by reminisence80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go! If you stay and keep putting up with this then things will probably get worse. If you leave, then he will know he has to do something to change the way he is towards you and your child. Let him know your not going to tolerate his abuse and until he gets some help and changes then your not coming back!!!! Be strong!!!
2007-06-14 09:06:46 · answer #4 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to go. If he has hit you once he will hit you again. Verbal abuse is just as bad. Get out before you child is his next victim.
2007-06-14 09:02:36 · answer #5 · answered by Makingitwork 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow i thought i was in a bad marriage with the abusive husband im sorry but you need to tell him to get help you are not puting up with this behavior no more you are wearing yourself out so seperate like i did i much better my husband was calling me names infront of my son and i kicked him to the curb noone deserves that i even ask him to go to marriage counseling and even told him he needed help with his anger issues but it was always my fault so i threw in the towel a women can only take so much be thankful your little one is only 3 my son is 8 and he did not like my husband callen me names i will never put my son threw that again gl to ya and run you deserve better unless he agrees to get help tc jewels
2007-06-14 09:16:15 · answer #6 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't usually recommend divorce when children are involved but your husband is seriously ill and potentially harmful to all of you. Don't hesitate to find a safe place for you and your child and make sure he is unable to find you.
2007-06-14 09:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hit you. That's a deal breaker. I would vote for divorce.
2007-06-14 08:59:24 · answer #8 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I vote for making your decision based on a yahoo vote. wooo wooooo
2007-06-14 09:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Pleasure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, talk about your mental and emotional abuse.....that's what he's doing honey. That IS abusive behavior.
Two choices----he's get help or you get out.
2007-06-14 09:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋