I am planning to have sex for the first time with a guy I trust and love. I am virgin so I am slightly nervous, but I know the time is right. Any preparation I need? Obviously besides protection... Any helpful tips would be great, or advice on what to expect. The guy is not a virgin like I am, so I am having irrational doubts such as, what if I suck in bed? I am not as naive to think that I will be amazing the first time, but still I am aware that his last girlfriend was "experienced" and I am not. Of course I know he has no expectations and has in no way pressured me to have sex. He is such a wonderful guy!
Anyway, all help is welcomed!
Thanks.
2007-06-12 22:20:06 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Um, he is my age...I have just chosen to wait until i found the right person to lose it to. And i have.
2007-06-12 22:25:47 · update #1
You should not be having sex. But if you are going to please use condoms to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. AIDS and herpes are not curable. The other STDs are curable but can cause infertility if you don't know you have one and it goes untreated.
Please don't try to compete with his ex. Sounds like he has told you a lot about her in an effort to make you want to please him by having sex with him. He is not as wonderful as you think if he is willing to subject you to the adult problems associated with sex. Also consider that he will tell all of his friends and when you break up they will all be hitting on you for sex. If he cares for you so much he will not let you do this and will insist on waiting. That's how you know he really cares.
2007-06-12 22:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
As long as your boyfriend knows you are a virgin and is willing to take it slow you should be fine. I know you are going to be nervous, but you need to try to relax. If you are not relaxed you will be tensing your muscles, making penetration difficult and/or painful.
Foreplay is key. Make sure you have plenty before you attempt intercourse. It will help relax you and get your natural lubrication going.
If your hymen is intact you may have a small amount of discomfort when he first penetrates you, but if your body is prepared due to the foreplay, you should feel pleasure shortly thereafter. There also may be a very minimal amount of blood due to the hymen breaking, so laying down a towel is a good idea.
Good luck, and don't worry about how "good" you will be. You're not going to be like a porn actress the first time you have sex. Just go with what you are feeling. Your boyfriend will love whatever noises you make and however you touch his body while you are making love.
2007-06-13 00:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by aqx99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best sex is MARRIED sex. He's not a virgin? How do you know he does not have a STD? 1 out of 4 sexually active persons ages 12-26 are ALREADY INFECTED with a sexually transmitted disease. Many of these have no symptoms, yet wreck havoc with your reproductive system. The viruses like HPV , Herpes and HIV don't ever go away and AIDS is a death sentence. How would you like to tell your future husband someday that you have a viral STD you got from this guy when you were a teen and that if you marry him, he will get it too? Birth control messes with your body and condoms have a 16 to 30% failure rate. And that's just for pregnancy which can only occur over a twelve hour period once a month. You can contract a STD 24/7.
Wait until you get married when you know the guy really does love you. Thats the test of true love - that he loves and respects you and want's what is the best thing for you and that he is man enough to control his sex drive.
2007-06-12 23:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by wildwolfmom 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Don't tell my teachers at Guy School that I am telling you this ........ but there is a far greater chance that he sucks in bed than you do (I'm not making a dirty joke, it's just true).
Experimenting and figuring things out together is half the fun, and it's all about partners letting each other know when they like something and also when they don't like something. Unless the guy had had a long career of satisfying ladies already (or is exclusively Dr.Phil-trained), he likely won't have a whole lot of idea how to help you get the most out of it, so you can guide him bit-by-bit. Not his fault, it just takes lots of trial and error and listening!
2007-06-12 22:28:11 · answer #4 · answered by maddog27271 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are. This guy has had sex with a (or more) past girlfriend, and they're no longer together. Are you sure you're ready to give away something you can never get back? There's no guarantee that this guy will stick around once the deed is done. It might just be a conquest for him to get a virgin.
If you really are ready, just relax. If you are tense, it will be more difficult.
2007-06-12 22:26:57 · answer #5 · answered by MJ3000 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My advice would be not to plan a date and time just let it happen naturally so you don't get yourself all worked up and really nervous knowing the day is coming. If he is a really good guy then he already knows that you are nervous and will respect you and your body and take things at your pace! Best advice I could give is just relax and let it happen if it's going to happen. Just because you're not "experienced" doesn't mean it can't be good. Just make sure you really want to do it.
2007-06-12 22:26:43 · answer #6 · answered by fairy crazy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two thoughts. Ask him to take it very slow and spend time getting your both relaxed and aroused - never underestimate the value of foreplay.
Secondly, create a safe word that he promises to stop if you use. Don't make it something you might say in passion or that could be misunderstood - for example, "don't, stop" could be heard as "don't stop".
Lastly, remember that you can change your mind at any time. If he cares about you he will be understanding and supportive and not pressure you to go forward if you decide you're not ready.
2007-06-12 22:28:48 · answer #7 · answered by Justin H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2014-09-22 21:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure if he loves you he will be gentle and show you how to do things in the best way possible. a couple suggestions - make sure you have KY lubricant on hand as well as a towel since things can get messy. if you are a virgin try to relax your pelvis when he goes in. the tighter you are, the harder it will be and the more it will hurt. good luck - it is one of the most precious moments on earth so don't lose it! :)
2007-06-12 22:24:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't worry...women can't suck in bed...
Just tell him to be gentle, and don't worry if it hurts a bit or feels strange...it's perfectly normal for the first time. Just lie back and feel the passion take over. Most of all, have fun!
2007-06-12 22:25:21 · answer #10 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋