i am 23, my bf he swears he loves me but really he treats me more like a friend, i have spoken to him about this and he admits that lately we have been drifting appart, he says he doesnt want to break up with me, neither do i. But i dont really know how to make things better between us. My friends say that he actually doesnt love me, that he is just sweet talking me because he doesnt want to hurt my feelings. I have asked him to be honest and tell me if he loves me, and he says he feels that i dont trust him when he says he does, he said "if i had a slight doubt about us i would have broken up already, but i do want to work on this, is just at the moment i have to sort out my own issues so i might not seem like i am there for you like before but i am", then he said, "i will say this but i dont want you to take it the wrong way, i will be there for you always, even if in the future we are not lovers anymore i will still b there", but i love you and will do my best for us to work.
2007-06-12 19:07:39 · 8 answers · asked by saminita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The reason why i asked the question is because he ovbiously has thought of teh possibility of us not being together in the future so i pretty much now believe what my friends are saying, that he is just trying to soften the blow. I love him a lot and i know it will be hard for me, i just want some advice from wiser hopefully older women.
2007-06-12 19:09:57 · update #1
Leave your friends out of it that’s a start...this is between you and him.
Secondly, sit down and talk about it...ask him what’s going on his life that he needs to work out...it might be an insight to what’s going on between the two of you, be there to support him even if its something that you can't fix
once you have talked about that...talk about where you both think things have gone wrong...is it lack of time together, interests are changing...the list is endless...I noticed you spoke about him all the time in your question...what about you? How do you feel? Do you live him?
If you really do care about each other then it will work out. and he wasn't lying when he said he doesn't want to break up with you and that he wants to work things out...males are simple creatures he would have broken up already if he wanted to.
Talk and sort things out between you two before going to other people (unless it’s a professional counsellor) and before you get upset over what could be worked out. You’ll be doing both of you a favour
2007-06-12 19:21:23 · answer #1 · answered by TeeKay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relationships sometimes have their downsides, and we cant blame it to either two of the people who is in the relationship. in life we have ups and downs, so is the relationship you have with your bf. you let time take the things, both of you might not want to break up so just let it be like this, let it cool down like there's still a relationship, just take some rest from it. your friends cannot judge well if he loves you or not. only both of you can feel it. love is not about seeing it from a person. its feeling it. it is for you to find out whether he is just sweet talking you or he really does love you more than a friend. you already mentioned he is your bf, so why still stick to the word "more than a friend". he does have a few factors in his life where he just came through from, did you support him through it? you've asked him to be honest if he wants to break up with you, and he said no, and he'll try to make it work. i dont think he actually wants to get rid of you, cause every guy just breaks off when they chose to. and they wouldnt care less if you'll be hurt or not. the last sentence you wrote, where in he doesnt want you to take it as a wrong way, is if the both of you have really surpassed this moment and chose to broke up. you both as a couple would still of course love each other and treasure each other even if whatever relationship both of you have. then he said BUT I LOVE YOU and...... he is trying his best to make this relationship work.. so why are you trying to let him off the hook and trying to get over him? friends may stand as advisers but what ever they say might not always be the decision. reconsider everything, the surroundings, the factors your bf have, the problems, the situations he is in. and support him as a gf. be strong for a relationship. everyone wants a stable relationship. if you cant work out what you have right now, how will you work out later on in your life when it comes to marriage?
2007-06-12 19:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by ~desa~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 32 and I have been there before. It's a bit tricky getting over someone like your BF is hard because he cares enough to b there as a freind as well. my wedding is in 2 days and I would not marry my hubby if he was not my best freind too. I love the fact of being inlove but if you love someone enough a freind is what you need as well with someone you are so intimate with. Also if you love eachother enough then try couseling it might help. he might have mentioned being apart because he realizes you two are drifting apart. Sometimes you have to let go to work through your own issues. It will be hard just like any other relationship but you have to be strong and work through your own problems. If you two can't help eachother through these issues then you two don't have that work it out together relationship. Like they say if you love someone let them go if they come back to you then they are yours. if it ends try to stay feinds you never know freindship can overcome alot.
2007-06-13 03:39:16 · answer #3 · answered by zeethevampyre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm... trust him for now. i mean relationships take lots of work there are hard times. and the only thing that heals a broken heart is time. sucks but u cant rush it. friends dont always help with these things i mean like either they tell u what u want to hear or the oppiste so go with ur gut. maybe he does love maybe he doesnt but wouldnt u hate it if he does n u break it off at the wrong time. and all that happens if u stay and he doesnt is that it ends! i mean its not so bad. it just takes work and time. but good luck.
2007-06-12 19:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by kaylia j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling very insecure. Try making yourself look fabulous and having some special nights with your bf. See if he responds. If he does not, you may want to brace yourself for some heartbreak. You haven't said how long you two have been together. In long term relationships, sometimes there Will be a lull, when things just aren't great. Fortunately they usually get better after a short period of time.
If you keep acting insecure, you are sure to lose him. Men hate to be constantly nagged about anything!
2007-06-12 19:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i might want to split with him... why lengthen the ache. i replaced into interior an similar issue before and when I've damaged up with my bf, both one human beings were a lot happier! I even got here upon someone who loves me better than my ex. i'm confident you may want to too... don't be afraid to enable pass of someone who doesn't want to stay!
2016-11-23 16:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both should break up and move on. He says he loves you, but he is drifiting apart? i wish he didnt have to do that. you really should just let him go. there is no use on being with a guy who does not want to be with you...he is holding you back from finding someone who does care. please do yourself a favor and move on. you are gonna find another person there for you.
2007-06-12 19:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by ...oh... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
will be ok, you seem genuinely nice & nice guys readily adore such, some nice guys are lonely also, so makes it easier for em to fall for ye...
am online tonight, on yahoo, if ye wanna chat...
2007-06-12 21:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋