Do i have to reveal all my secrets to my wife?

Question

im going to get married in a year or two. offlate i started to worry a lot abt getting married thinking do i need to be open with my wife telling her everything abt my past relationships and bed affairs? will my relationship b strong if i tell her everything? gimme ur advice abt tis

Answer 1

I knew alot of things before I was married about my husband. Just because we get married doesnt mean its time to share every detail about your past bed affairs. Some couples share that but I personally didnt want to know and didnt tell mine either.
Its one thing to not tell about those things of the past because its giving a mental picture and its another to hide information about things you are doing NOW.
So I would say giving a mental picture of yourself in bed with someone else to your wife can cause alot of reactions depending what kind of person she is. No need for that.

Answer 2

This is one big mess but since everyone is adult it can be addressed by communication but be prepared for a rocky ride ahead. The in laws acting like this is some sort of unacceptable sexual practice is just ridiculous and do they just go into their own bedroom and have a missionary style session an that's it. I don't think so, or at least remember when they were younger. They need to come down off their high horse and realize that this is normal intimate, PRIVATE bedroom affairs between a married couple and how dare they make you feel like an outsider and explain it's putting a wedge in your marriage which you have no control over removing and it may destroy your future together. Their ignorance on the whole medical situation fulled by your wife is incredible and it needs to be talked over in depth. Your wife has been silly and vunerable and you have to now analyse if she is worth a fight.

Answer 3

Where what you have done in the past will directly affect your relationship - e.g. a child from a previous relationship, a previous marriage, or severe baggage left over (e.g. can't trust because your ex cheated), then you do need to disclose the facts, but maybe not all the detail.
Where there is no direct bearing - the first girl you kissed, the teacher you had a crush on, a one night stand, etc, best to leave it alone. Either way, the most important thing is to be HONEST. If asked, or if it comes up, be truthful. And expect the same in return.The strength of any relationship is in the trust each has in it and in eachother, and the communication between them.

Answer 4

As a wife myself, I personally would not want to know my husband's past when it comes to sexual experiences, or anything of the sort. Unless, of course, there were same sex incidences. One of the reasons is that you don't know if it is going to play on her self esteem and, you might wind up regretting you said anything at all. Things that you need to be honest about are things like, your job security, income you bring in, if you have children with anyone or have been married in the past, etc., etc. You have to remember if it's not going to benefit your relationship, then why. But, if you feel it is necessary to bring something out in the open, that you think might harm the relationship later on down the road, then perhaps, you may need to tell her.
Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 5

There is one thing, and one thing only that your fiance absolutely NEEDS to know about your past relationships, and that is whether you contracted any STD's during these past "flings." If she is not asking for more information about your past relationships, then she probably is content not knowing the details, or might be hurt if you went too in depth with it. However, you MUST do your duty by her and get tested for everything before you engage in anything with her. If you've already had sex with her, then you STILL must take the time to get tested - no excuses.

Your future wife has the right to know about any part of your sexual history if she ASKS. Even if she doesn't ask, she has the right to know about anything you've done that might put her at risk for AIDS, HPV (and cervical cancer!), or anything else nasty.

If I were you, I'd have a very open conversation with your fiance about getting tested (her too, if she's ever done anything). At this time, simply ASK her if there's anything else that she would like to know. If not, then don't feel pressed to "come clean" and burden her with that knowlege.

Answer 6

It depends on how open minded your fiance is. If she is a bit conservative and sensitive then better keep those bed affairs, past relationship of yours to yourself. But, if she is a modern person and open to those kind of possibilities then its better if you will discuss the matter with her but do it slowly. You have to really make her ready about it. Being totally honest with your wife is the best thing that can make your relationship work. But there are people that cant just accept some things of the past, so you have to weigh whether your fiance can handle such things.

Answer 7

Of course you shouldn't! Past relationships and intimate affairs have nothing to do with your relationship with her. Everyone has a past. Some things just need to be left alone. This is a marriage, not a confessional.

Answer 8

I think you should not tell your wife the past. What you did in the past shouldn't matter. It will bring problems in your marriage. If she told you her past and she expects you to do the same tell her certain things but don't tell her your bed affairs. Shell think different of you. Just keep it as is. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Answer 9

Don't be stupid. Tell her what you think she will accept. You might try leading questions to get her to open up about some of her past relationships, then follow in with some of your equivalent ones. If you think she has to know about your romantic past, she does not. If our conscience bothers you, confess your past to your priest or best friend or your seatmate on an airplane.

Answer 10

would definitely tell her everything, because you need to be open with each other. either past or present or future plans. a relationship is based on trust. openness is like trust. by the way, you should watch jennifer garner's catch and release.