My friend and I are supposed to go to Japan together to study at a university. The problem is I sent for my passport to get renewed over 6 months ago + I still haven't gotten it back + I need to get my visa (need a passport) + the trip is in a week. Ugh! I called much earlier, paid extra, and it was promised that it would be sent last week! So I called my friend and left a calm message saying that I MIGHT not be able to go because of said problem. She told me a few weeks earlier that she was going to her college freshman orientation this week and I forgot, having had other personal, important issues.
She called me screaming at me about: why was I stressing her so much at her orientation when she didn't get 10 hrs of sleep yesterday (I'm not psychic), she was going to explode in anger at me, she is ready (she went last yr so her pass. is fine) so why wasn't I responsible enough to be ready also. She also called me a few nasty things.
What did I do so wrong?
2007-06-12 16:20:41 · 22 answers · asked by thefacade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I admit, when she was screaming I replied irritatedly.
I mean I called the passport agency 46 times and spent 5 hours on Saturday trying to get the status on my passport and demand why I haven't gotten it yet when I paid extra for it to be delivered, only to be told to travel 3 hrs to a big city, pay again, wait there all day. I have a job from morn to night like many others, I need that money, and they told me it would come on time.
I tried my best. I can't believe she accused me of hating her and thus on purpose decided not to go since she feels sick when she thinks about it. I never forced her to go. I shouldn't have called her, but my parents were screaming at me and beating me because this issue is supposedly my fault and I just wanted some reassurance. But she wasn't there so I left a calm message not to scare her. She has done this before over other stupid issues not related to me at all and ALWAYS acts like a victim.
What did I do wrong to be such a "bad" friend?
2007-06-12 16:37:39 · update #1
You need to re-evaluate who your friends are. It doesn't sound like you are doing anything "wrong", and she isn't being very understanding. You aren't keeping her from going anywhere so I wouldn't feel bad... the one who is suffering is you.
2007-06-12 16:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by katiebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did nothing wrong, she is the one beening a bad friend. She should be understanding your problems instead of focusing on her's. You will most likely get your passport if you go to the place you sent it to and complain until they get your passport done. Just give your friends some time and she'll be ok, she just needs to cool off some steam. Best of luck.
2007-06-12 23:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is angry and frightened about the situation. Going to another country can be scary and stressful. That said, it is not your fault that your passport isn't coming through.
It doesn't sound like you are being a bad friend. Take her outburst as stress due to the situation. Her calling you names is a bit over the top and totally unnecessary though.
2007-06-12 23:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by Shrieking Panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For heavens sake, you just didn't know! That was no reason for her to bite your head off. I'd say she is the nasty one. She already did this before, you didn't. She had no reason to take out her hostility twds. you. You did nothing wrong, she did. She had to know you were upset & should have had a little more compassion for you & your situation. Like you said, you're "crystal ball" was broken, how did you know she was going to treat you unkindly. I think she owes you an appology for acting like the fool she did. Give you a break! IF this is the kind of a "friend" she's going to be, who needs friends like that...
2007-06-12 23:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your friend has a lot on her plate at the moment. I don't think you did anything wrong...I think she is taking her stress out on you. You could try to be a bit more consious of her schedule. Honestly, I don't think college orientations are that stressful....I can only imagine what she will be like at exam time.
2007-06-12 23:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you did everything right, but it might have been a good idea to tell your friend about the problem sooner. I think it was just bad timing and hopefully, your friend will see that she reacted badly when she calms down.
2007-06-12 23:26:36 · answer #6 · answered by futureuncertain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me, that your plans with your friend may have changed. Theres nothing wrong with that. She should be understanding. My best friend and I have been planning on moving to Atlanta for years. But now she is back in California and Im in North Carolina. My Best friend is thinking about getting married and staying in Cali. Although, I really want her to move to Atl with me. I understand that its important for us define our own path and support each other. Your intentions may have been to go with her but for whatever reason your having problems at this time. Are you sure your plans are what you want to do and not what your friend wants you to do? My advice is that if you are really truely friends nothing should stop you from being so, even if your miles apart. This is your life, define your own path and if she cant support you than she is really not your friend. If you go with her fine, if not she shouldnt disrespect you.
2007-06-12 23:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by trynarenee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, from my point-of-view. You have to remember that some people may get irrational under great pressures. Try explaining to your friend the situation when she's a bit more relaxed.
2007-06-12 23:24:30 · answer #8 · answered by JC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you have done, but your so call friend is only using you to meet her own needs,
Therefore is not worth calling a friend. She ,he is just using you and as no concern as to you and your needs.
That is no friend just a user of you as they have no thought as to what as gone wrong for you.
You could well do better if YOU choice of friend was Your and not at of others that claim they are a friend.
2007-06-12 23:46:24 · answer #9 · answered by aiddogs5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't do anything wrong
its not your fault
simply call the company ask to speak to a supervisor and blast them
explain to your friend what has happend
she's being very unreasonable she needs to know that its hard to maintain a visa
anyway i hope things work out between the two of you
but she'll probably cool down
2007-06-12 23:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by peggy b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋