and we were informed she is screwing around with a co-worker. Her father and I feel that we need to confront her in front of the other guy, to find out if it is a rumor or the actual truth. If it is, we feel she is not ready for marriage and it would be pointless to continue with the ceremony. We have invested a lot of money with this. So, because I value a lot of opinons from some of you. What would you do. Finacially back out. Or because most of it is paid let her marry inspite of our feelings of disgust. We love her intended like a son. And feel he should be clued in tomarrow. And the wedding called off. So, let's hear it. What do you recommend?
2007-06-12 16:15:40 · 12 answers · asked by treasuredwife69 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tjn in st. Louis- Maybe you should listen a little better before you rant the stupid remarks. Marriage is a very big deal here. And it is our business. If she wants to see other people, we are fine with it. We just feel that being dishonest should never be rewarded.
Before we pull the plug, we want to know the truth. Laying it on the table. To assume we are trying to get out of it because of money is just stupid. Her happiness means more than that to us.
So if she is, she is doing the wrong thing. We cannot support her doing that. No one should be made a fool of. Not her soon to be husband. Not us.
2007-06-12 16:46:09 · update #1
If this were my daughter, and if it were true, I would definitely pull the plug on the ceremony. Marriage is about commitment to a person for the rest of your life and she would not be demonstrating that she is ready for that kind of commitment with that kind of behavior. Money comes and goes and can be replaced, but in this day and age it is still important to stand up and safeguard what is right and honorable.
2007-06-12 16:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by Dick Jones 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How reliable is your source? Could it be someone just trying to stir up trouble? I'd check with a few other people and if it sounds like the rumor might be fact, I'd definitely have a very stern meeting with your daughter and the co-worker, and possibly even the fiance'. Better to cancell the whole thing now than pour out more money on something that is destined for failure. She needs to realize that this is a serious issue. Good luck!
2007-06-12 16:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by classic1957gal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confront her in private first. Calling off the wedding should be her decision (and her future husbands) Don't jump to conclusions before hearing her side. This might just be a giant misunderstanding. If she is cheating, I agree that she's not ready for marriage and you'll be saving two people much heartache and problems in the future. Messy situation, good luck.
2007-06-12 17:19:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that the only one that you need to talk to is your daughter..... she is the most important person in the picture for you.. You guys need to confront her and make sure that she understands what big commitment she will be getting into... Forget about the financial part, but what about her happiness, if she is already screwing around, then she must not get married!!! Talk to her and make sure that she is not doing in just to make someone else happy... Remember in life we only have one life and one shot, we need to ,live to the fullest extent
2007-06-12 17:09:47 · answer #4 · answered by choicetx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure, i think of five months is an extremely couple of minutes to fulfill somebody and fall in love and get married. i'm 23 yrs previous soo i've got not got lots experience with love, yet i understand that it takes an prolonged time to truly get to appreciate a guy or woman and understand in the event that they're who you're meant to be with. i think of if marriage is the type of sacred union it may be hel in higer esteem than that. i might say communicate to her see if she is prepared to attend a sprint greater.i'm confident they could love one yet another yet love isn't continuously what makes a marriage artwork for my section.
2016-10-09 02:28:44 · answer #5 · answered by clubbs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell my daughter I knew and ask her if it is true or not, and for an explanation.
It is NOT your place to tell her fiance, no matter how strongly you feel about him.
But clearly she isn't ready for marriage. I would pull all financial support and tell her that you will not be attending a marriage that you can't support.
I'd put this problem in HER lap, and I wouldn't own any of it. If her fiance appraoches you with what is going on, then I'd simply tell him that he will have to discuss this with his fiance.
And while you are crazy about her fiance--can you really support her getting married knowing this?
2007-06-12 16:22:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
How are you going to feel if you find out this is a lie?
This is your daughter and she is a grown woman. You cannot control her like this, and if you destroy her life with this man for something you heard from someone else, shame on you. Butt out, this is none of your business. If you didn't want to pay for this wedding, which seems to be your true focus here, then why didn't you tell her this before now. If she's a smart woman, she will cut you out of her life and live in peace.
2007-06-12 16:27:25 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow this is crazy!!!!!
I think you should just confront her, no need to make it all dramatic...she is your daughter, you WILL know if she is lying.
Don't do anything until you talk to her, you will know which path to take after you talk to her. It is not your place to hand out justice, but you can speak your piece since you are shelling out the dough.
2007-06-12 16:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is only a rumor..if you need to "confront" her then you should do it in a way that isn't accusatory, and certainly not in front of her fiance.
In my opinion it is none of your business unless you know it is a fact.
2007-06-12 16:21:34 · answer #9 · answered by katiebug 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
she a very inmature girl if this is true , with no repect for you or husband to been , does she no this rumour is going around man i would of scream down as soon as i heard it , my heart go out to the guy s he marrying if it true but some way i think it not
2007-06-12 16:32:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋