Despite his complete disregard for my daughter's future, he does seem to be genuinely interested in his 1month old baby girl. I am finding it hard to remain cordial with him when he comes over to my house( my daughter and her baby have moved in with my wife and I for now) to visit his daughter. He has offered to "give" my daughter $XX.XX a month for child support. My wife and I feel this amount is woefully unrealistic. For the sake of our grand-daughter's future well being we have decided to hire legal council. We feel that by putting the custody, paternity and child-support in legal order now, all 3 of them(my daughter, my grand daughter and the father) will be better served in the long run. I doubt that he will look at it that way however. I fear that as soon as he gets served with our lawyers demands, him and his parents will counter our demands with ridiculous demands of their own for the purpose of hoping that we exhaust our funds. Being in the military he gets free legal support
2007-06-12 16:14:05 · 14 answers · asked by gotmini02 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are doing the right thing. Emotions are probably running really high right now, and I would bet your daughter probably isn't wanting to rock the boat any more for fear it will remove all possibility of reconcilation.
I'd push the legal stuff as far and as fast as possible. With the legal stuff out of the way, then everyone can grow up and think rationally....and the child's interests are addressed FIRST. (as it should be)
You sound like a great dad by the way. Kudos!
2007-06-12 16:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the say goes that a person who represents themselves has a fool for an attorney, but as far as women going for child support, it's pretty open and shut. Every state has a guidline on how much child support needs to be paid out and they make sure that the fathers do pay or get punished. The father will likely get visitation rights, but I can't see any judge taking custody away from the mother without good cause. There isn't always a need for getting an attorney. Your daughter can go to the child support agency and start a case. They will help her along the way.
2007-06-12 16:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by Tracy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, it is very disheartening that your daughter made such a poor choice --- particularly having a child out of wedlock.
Have your daughter go to court and file for child support. All depends on how much he earns and if your daughter works (hate to think that she will be relying on you or the government for handouts). There is no divorce so no alimony, just child support. You have to look at how much you are willing to spend on lawyers. The county clerk can probably help you identify what papers to file it herself. Unless the guy makes upwards of $50k, the best you can get for his share of child support is about $200-300 per month, much more if he makes good money. Add up the numbers and it is not worth paying thousands to laywers.
YOu should also work on your daughter. She might feel like a victim now but her own moral bearings are not exactly great either.
The sooner you act, the sooner you get something. The child has to eat. Hard to get retroactive support.
2007-06-12 16:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On one hand, I see why you are doing what you are. An impartial third party makes solid decisions.
I will suggest however, that this is still a very 'fresh' breakup. Any shot that these two have of working things out is going to depend on how they "bond" with eachother and the baby. If it turns into a financial obligation, the 'bond' is artificial IF it ever happens.
Is a custody, paternity, child support discussion something that your daughter wants right now? Or is this simply to let YOU feel more comfortable? If it is a comfort move, it may equal bad strategy.
If there is no rush, I'd suggest waiting until 'the couple' is ready to pursue legal action.
2007-06-12 16:34:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so are you just venting? I don't see a question...
yes it is a good idea to get thing legalized...but he does have a right to HIS rights...what you think is fair may not be what he feels is, it is not right to call his feelings on the subject "rediculous"...and that is why there are lawyers & judges...
quite frankly, this is between your daughter and her ex, and you and the other set of parents should stay as far out of it as possible...this is THEIR child...and THEIR choices to make...
Dad, it is time for you to get over the resentment of him choosing to exit the relationship...just because your daughter had a child with him, does not mean they were good together, and I would much rather see two parents work together as seperate people, than in a couple that is miserable...he wasn't happy with your daughter for his own reasons...and he is entitield to how he feels...you will never know the whole story behind why they didn't work...as there is her side his side then somewhere in the mud in the middle is the truth...
2007-06-12 16:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't imagine, beyond visitation, what demands they could make.... unless you're afraid they will try for custody? Talk to your lawyer, of course, but you/she have GOT to sue for child support from this person. It's not up to him what he will give, it's up to the court to decide what your grandchild is entitled to.
Free military legal support does not mean that the military will support his actions, and his military lawyer just might explain what his responsibilities are and straighten him out.
Good luck - what a terrible situation for your daughter!
2007-06-12 16:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what your "legal" demands as far as support of the child is, however I can tell you that child support is based upon the income of BOTH of the parents and is usually 1/3 of BOTH parent's income. You can't just go in and say we wan't X amount of dollars and expect him to comply. It doesn't matter how his legal counsel is funded, it is up to the COURT to make the ruling not YOUR lawyer not his lawyer.
2007-06-12 17:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this guy want to be in his child's life? If he does, your daughter should get child support. Let the court decide on how much he is suppose to pay and go from there. If he doesn't want to be with your daughter, it is probably best that it happened now rather than after they got married.
2007-06-12 16:38:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in the military I do believe he will get dependent pay if he claims his daughter as a dependent. He can't get out of paying child support if he's in the military, it can be arranged to have it deducted from his pay and sent directly to your daughter. It also looks like he won't get a free lawyer from the military, just advice from an attorney. I know Navy legal wouldn't handle my divorce. Here is a link to Military free legal assistance...
http://www.military.com/benefits/legal-matters/legal-assistance
2007-06-12 16:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by neffer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get legal help. The courts will only make him pay a certain amount of child support based on his salary. I would, however, try to obtain monitored visitations within your home due to his past behavior of abandonment.
2007-06-12 16:24:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋