what if someone cannot find his/her soulmate (when one is already 40 yrs old)?

Question

Marrying someone u dont like seemed like a gamble to me. so I assume, one will not marry someone unless he/she is his/her soulmate.

so read my question....what's the answer for that? isnt that sad? is everyone guaranteed to be able to find one's soulmate??

cuz after 40 yrs old, it is hard to conceive and give birth to a baby.

i mean, after 46 yrs old

Answer 1

Understand that there isn't really a soulmate. If there was, widows and widowers wouldn't be remarrying after their spouse of 40 years passes away. There isn't that perfect "ONE", because NO ONE is perfect. There are plenty that are suitable. Sometimes when people aren't married by the time they are 40, they are either intimidating to the opposite sex or they are too picky.

Answer 2

I think you asked a question that many singles ask themselves each day. I do agree, it is a gamble to marry someone you don't like. But this whole idea of a soul mate... it's very subjective. Love in today's world is not like it was years ago (when the divorce rates weren't so high), or like it is in the movies where two people are 100% perfect for each other in every way.

Yes, it can feel sad when you feel that you can't find a mate and perhaps your friends can, or have...regardless of age. But you have to understand that you have to be open-minded when dating. You can't expect every person to be perfect in every way, as there is no such person (for anyone).

Also, this idea of a "soul mate" depends on what your idea of a soulmate is. Is it someone who cares deeply for you? Someone who wines and dines you? What makes this person stand out, aside from the others? I think these are questions you should ask yourself when looking to date someone, or while you're dating someone. If you feel that your idea of a soulmate is unrealistic, then maybe you should set realistic goals and be open-minded and give potential suitors a chance. This doesn't mean you'll find the right person right away, but at least you will get an idea of what you expect from the other person and also what you want out of the relationship.

I also understand the concern to conceive after a certain age. But with hope and prayers that can be done. If you're worried about not finding someone on your own, ask friends if they know any suitable singles for you. There is also the gamble of finding someone online as many people are trying now.

I don't necessarily think everyone is guaranteed to find his/her soulmate. But I do feel that if two given people put their hearts, minds and soul into their relationship, it can last. People need to put more effort into their relationships instead of resorting to a divorce as a quick fix, unless you're really in a jam.

These are just some random thoughts that were flying through my mind. Hope these thoughts helped with some of your questions. : )

Answer 3

40 years old is not over the hill mate. I was in same position five years ago after working technologies all my life. If truth be known I perhaps needed a change anyway so went for retraining, working in the forest, i.e. cutting down trees, maintaining the countryside etc. I don't suggest that this is necessarily for everyone but retraining is possible at any age. Why not go in a totally different direction, say learn computing or office management. Plenty of work out there even if you self employ as a PC technician or go temping as office staff. Anyway I'm sure you know that booze is not the answer as you would'nt have posted this question or made comment of it. So apply for some information on retraining from local job centre or go directly to colleges in your area to see what courses are available. Often retraining can be free, so it probably won't break the bank. Remember even if you don't take up your retraining as a formal occupation it adds just another string to your bow. Finally and in the meantime have you thought about learning a foreign language, great to keep your mind active and a great confidence builder. Thats if hope all works out for you ,,,,best of luck...and remember you probably ain't even lived half your life yet!!!! by the way I am 57 years old, if I can you can...

Answer 4

You can find your soulmate at any age. You have to be willing to share your life, look for things in common, and keep working at it, meeting new people until there is someone who's looking for the same thing you are.
No one's guaranteed a soul mate. If I sat in my living room every night alone and watched game shows and crime dramas, no, I'm not going to meet a soul mate. But do what you enjoy, be willing to share, talk, try to be someone's friend, and you will find something. A mate and then maybe a soulmate. Just keep going. 46 is actually relatively young. You may not have a baby, you may have the pleasure of being a step-grandparent. You can have a very very enjoyable life.

Answer 5

I don't know about you, however I did take a few chances and yes I got burned a little but the rewards were more than worth it. I was married very young and that lasted about 9 years. When my first child was two we divorced. A few months later I met my husband and we have been married now for 11 years. We have 6 great children and are very happy. One cannot find happiness without a little rain. Life is like a roller coaster a thrill at every turn. There is nothing in my life that I would not do again. As far as age goes my husband is 66 and I am 34, one is never to old to have children.

Answer 6

First of all, you do NOT want to marry someone you don't like just for the sake of having someone to marry. Why would you put yourself through that and the potential risk of getting a costly divorce?

If you haven't found the one for you by 40, that just means that for whatever reason, the timing wasn't right. I don't know that anyone can tell you for sure that soul mate's exist. People who think they've found theirs will say they exist and people who haven't will say they don't exist. But maybe those people just happened to miss out on their soul mate.

Point is, not everyone ends up with someone, and definitely not before their chance to have a child. Look at celebrities who have married and divorced multiple times. These are celebrities with a lot of money and opportunity to meet anyone they want. And even THEY couldn't find their soul mate.

So don't despair. It's not sad. And you're certainly not the only one. You still may meet your soul mate, you might have already met them. But at the end of the day, you can't live your life wondering. Just live your life to your best and if someone comes along, then it'll be a most pleasant surprise.

Answer 7

I don't think there is one perfect person for everyone, there may be many people who could be your soulmate. Still if you don't find anyone you like enough, well thats just the way it is. Some people would not care, being happy being single all their lives. Others seem to very much want to get married after a point and they'll just have to find the most compatible person they can I guess, but hey that person may turn out to be their soulmate after all.

Answer 8

Your soul mate does not have to be your spouse. It can be anyone and any sex. There are no guarantees. If you are a very lucky person you can meet your soul mate and it be the opposite sex and you marry. That does not happen often. Those people are very fortunate. Probably the reason you haven't married yet is that you haven't found love. When you meet that person you will know and want to spend the rest of your life with them no matter how old you are. Don't give up.

Answer 9

Almost all you said is true. Except that there is no such thing as a soulmate. That is highschool stuff. If you are man, you look for a wife who has compatible personality and share the similar values so a stable family can result.

Nobody has ever defined a soulmate because it is abstract as love. At the age of 40s, one would think you are more practical and has a list of attributes you are looking for. That is more logical and rational, nothing abstract.

Answer 10

It's not guaranteed that you will find your soul mate nor is it guaranteed that you should be with the person you feel is your soul mate. You don't have to marry someone you don't like but you don't necessarily have to marry your soul mate. There has to be someone out there for you. I always thought that there was no one for me but then, I met my husband. We met under funny circumstances and if you were to ask me 5 years ago would I think that we would get married, I would've just laughed! I never knew that he was my true soul mate until we agreed that we were going to get married. So, you may not be able to tell if someone is your soul mate until later in the relationship.