I have been married over 25 years. I was always barefoot and pregnant. We had 6 kids. I lost myself even before I was married. I always felt that if I pleased him I was loved and happy. Well I really never could please him, my children could not please him. He was controlling and always putting me and the children down. At times he could be nice and loveable and we did have some good times but I was always alone because he never really wanted to be with me unless we were in bed and I was pleasing him. He cheeted on me, I tried to devorce him but the children were small and I had a new baby and his family ganged up with him and threatned to take my children and prove me an unfit mother. Even though sounded impossible as he was the abuser if there was one. I got scared. We have made it through graduations and I only have one at home age 12 left. We only see each other once or twice per month as he drives truck now.
2007-06-12 13:46:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a really tough situation. First of all it seems like you have lived half your life just trying to please him...It also seems like now is a great time to start doing something for yourself. you have lived your life at the mercy of a man who does not deserve you. and chances are he will not leave. You deserve so much better than he has given you. You have managed to raise alot of children, and need to spend the next part of your life doing what you want...Even if that's with or without him. You only get one life...dont be ninety years old wondering what would have become of your life if you had mustered up the courage to leave him. So I would say dont wait for him to leave, so many women make that mistake. He Cheated on you? I completely understand why you couldn't leave but now that you have the chance do it! You may regret it later. Do it for your twelve year old. I always find it sad when smart women stay with abusive husbands that mistreat them for children who secretly wish their mothers would leave. Now that he's gone truck driving now would be the time to start the process. Go speak with a counselor...They can give you so much help and advice and just support. You will need it. god Bless you and I hope that you find something that works for you and your child. I'll remember you tonight in my prayers.
2007-06-12 14:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by little miss sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why did it take this long? You deserve much better. 25 years is a long time(to know someone) and you know it isn't going to get any better than what you see know. The kids are just about out and you have time to start over and be happy. Go for it and make it work for you. Good Luck.
2007-06-12 13:56:27 · answer #2 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not bad to just sit around waiting for him to leave you, if there's nothing else you wanted to do with your life, anyway, I suppose.
But, isn't there?
Don't you deserve a chance to find romantic happiness, if it is to be found?
Don't your children deserve a happy mother? What kind of example do you want to set for them? If your child was in the same situation, what would you want him/her to do? You're going to have to model that kind of behavior for the children, so that they will know it's possible.
2007-06-12 13:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's NEVER too late to do the right thing. You can't go back and recoup the last 25 years, but you CAN live the rest of your life with some happiness! How do I know? That's EXACTLY how long I was married, and got divorced. Do It!
2007-06-12 13:54:09 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Lady, you must get yourself a good lawyer, you woke up and figured that this person can't be pleased no matter what I know what you are talking about here I have only one child married 33 years did everything to please him all ways him. I woke up and now two years later next month we might be divorced, from him and his parents!!! You can do this yes it's hard but it's the right thing to do.
2007-06-12 13:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Put some of that money he is making away, so you can leave if needed. He may never leave you. Be-careful and start planning. Good luck.
2007-06-12 13:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're already divorced. Count your blessings you only see him as little as you do.
Take the time and go find yourself first. That should help you to make whatever decisions you are contemplating.
2007-06-12 13:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You've been emotionally divorced for years now. He is not going to leave you, you will have to leave him if you want to start a new life.
2007-06-12 14:04:24 · answer #8 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋