We have a debit card (my husband can buy any thing he likes with it), and I spend hours making nice things for my his lunch, but he still insists on having cash in his pocket and gets very nasty when he doesn't. He has even went so far as to ask his employer to pay for some of his work in cash, even though he knows it will hurt us in the winter when he is layed off (he is a truck driver). Is this normal?
2007-06-12 13:20:10 · 27 answers · asked by happyclown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I'm not a control freak, I just like to have food and a roof over my head, and electricity is nice too. If I give him cash he will spend it all in one day. Whatever amount it is.
2007-06-12 13:28:43 · update #1
If he has 100 dollars in his pocket it will be gone in two or three days and he will be back asking for more. It is not drugs , he was just tested. If I ask him where it went he will say for lunch and smokes. I say he could feed a whole family! And I pack him a HUGE lunch.
2007-06-12 13:41:01 · update #2
miraclehand2020. WOW. That was quite vitriolic. How in the heck do you know what my husband is thinking? And he need a 'break' from time to time. Sounds like your a truck driver that is taking some 'breaks' and I hate to think what they are.
2007-06-12 14:51:54 · update #3
He is probably using the cash as an untraceable payment for something...maybe gambling, or other things.
I would suggest you put together a budget and just make sure you allow for him to have a certain amount of spending money so that you can keep your lights on.
p.s. it is not "controlling" to want to know where the household money is being spent. that is what a partnership/marriage is all about.
2007-06-12 13:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by katiebug 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I have a debit card and a credit card in my pocket every day. I still want to have cash. There are many times when I make a purchase, it is easier to pay cash. When you use a credit or debit card, it takes longer to process the transaction. It also is a bit embarrassing to have to put a donut and a cup of coffee on a card!
You may make him lunch, but depending on his work schedule and co workers, he may still be buying some food. You say he is a truck driver. If he is driving with others, and they stop for lunch at a diner, he can hardly bring his lunch in and sit and eat with them.
Another thing is he may not want to explain every penny to you. If he puts things on the card, there is a record of the purchase. If he pays cash, there is not. You seem to be trying to control his spending, and he is not comfortable with that.
I understand that you are worried about money, but you can not impose your views on him. He will find a way (like asking to be paid in cash) to avoid your control.
You two need to sit down and come to an agreement on finances. You are his wife and partner, not his mother! If you have a realistic budget, allowing for the fact that he is going to spend money (cash) you will both be happier!
2007-06-12 22:49:29 · answer #2 · answered by fire4511 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do agree with you. That you need to tell him if he spends too much, we will be broke. He may come across places that don't take debit or credit cards. There are still business that don't. What gets me. He could get cash out anytime with he debit card. He could even hide it from you. Debit cards with a MasterCard or Visa symbol can be used to do cash advance through the MasterCard or Visa credit card cash advance network at any place that does cash advances including some truck stops.
2007-06-13 00:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a truck driver. I carry cash to pay for toll roads up north,they wont take a card of any kind in some areas and some truck stops require cash for a tip for the waitresses that serve out meals...I just like to have about 50 dollars on me at all times...never sat down and thought of the reason...maybe we were just raised up that way
2007-06-12 20:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by road runner 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take it from someone who knows.your husband's profession keeps him out for 5-14 hrs a day.What makes you think that sending him off with a lunch bag is going to keep him till he gets home.Do you work?If not get a part time job because your hubby's job is very stressful and he needs a break from time to time.60-100 a week in is pocket should keep him going.Stop playing mom to him and play your role as wife.He his feeling as though you could make changes in your life instead of asking him to sacrifice all the time.DO you ever sit with him to listen to him vent about his job?If you don't start doing it.Instead of worrying so much about your hide,remember he needs your understanding.Your empathy will go along way to helping him trust you.Trying to play boss only gets you close to divorce court
2007-06-12 21:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How much cash are we talking about? It could be unsavory things (drug, prostitutes, strippers), or it could just be him wanting to know he has freedom. He may feel confined in your relationship. The fact that he wants cash doesn't mean for certain that he is using it for these other activities. He wants privacy and freedom, for what hard to know for sure.
When he is not hauling a load does he still need the cash? Does he disappear for hours at a time? Ask yourself some of these questions, perhaps.
2007-06-12 20:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by piquant pariah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
as a truck driver myself i know exactly how he feels.......when you spend time on the road the one thing you know you can count on in an emergency or in a time when thigs go wrong is cash .....all the credit and debit cards in the world will not satisfy the feeling of know there is a lil bit of money in your pocket....good luck hope i was a help
2007-06-12 20:32:48 · answer #7 · answered by matt 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Maybe, he's got a new gun on layaway and can sneak it through the door without any traceable expense. No really, guys just gotta have cash in their pocket, PERIOD. I'm sure he works his a** off. Give the guy a break and be OK with him having a few bucks in his wallet!
2007-06-12 20:36:31 · answer #8 · answered by love bomb 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Everyone needs there own little pocket money or even a secret stash. My husband and I each get an allowance each week to spend or not spend on what we want and don't have to inform the other. It works for us.
2007-06-12 20:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by Dance 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
well there could be a number of reasons for this, do you think he is spending some money secretly and he don't want you to see the debit card receipts? I hope it is nothing like that, but my ex husband use to do the same thing to hide secrets from me, come to find out he had a nasty secret that I did learn about on my own.
2007-06-12 20:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by Namoosa~ 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋