How does a man benifit from marriage?

Question

So, im sick of having the whole idea of marriage pushed on me and looking like the black sheep because I logically cannot bring myself to do such a thing, I told my girlfriend, and my previous one as well to answer my one simple question, How do I benefit from being married??? I can potentially lose at least half of everything I have ever worked for?? wow where do I sign up for that!?

Please feel free to give examples on how I as a man would benefit, but please remember marriage broken down to simplest terms does not guarantee happiness, in simplest terms it is a contract.
I'd love to hear your ideas..

Wow did I stir the pot with this one, the negativity I get from some of you is the same I get from the people I have asked this question to in the past, like there is something wrong with me.
Please keep this in mind, I have never cheated on any girlfriend, I have been completely committed how does that make me such a bad person, My girlfriend moved in with me and I pay all the bills, if something is working why change it?

Answer 1

In marriage, you 'benefit' in ways that you desire to benefit and you do it because you actually 'want to share' what you have with another.

No, you should not be pushed into marriage; however, if you feel totally wonderful with the one of your affection; want to genuinely protect, provide for, have children with, want that best partner to build with, and get the same, then you should be married.

Marriage is a two-person AGREEMENT, set in motion by emotional desire. YOU, MY FRIEND, DO NOT HAVE THAT DESIRE, NOR HAVE YOU EVER FOUND ANYONE THAT YOU FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT~~IT IS YOUR CHOICE. Yet, you should make this clear in every relationship that you strive to have.

Most women want that commitment in their life, from a man, YES, A CONTRACTUAL "PROMISE", that you feel as they do about each other. They also want the respect by society and a feeling of well doing for religious reasons.

Real love is not selfish, YOU HOWEVER ARE BECAUSE YOU HAVE YET TO FIND A PERSON THAT YOU FEEL TOTALLY WONDERFUL BEING AROUND. Love you see, IS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE WITH THAT PERSON. IT HAS VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH HOW THAT PERSON FEELS ABOUT YOU.

Other benefits, beside sharing your life (because you want to) is that statistically, men live longer, are healthier due to a regular meal, doctor visits (promoted by having children and a wife to care for), are mentally and physically more aleart at an older age due to lifestyle, and are considered happier for having done the, I AM THE MAN IN CHARGE AND DID IT WELL, comfort zone in life.

Don't feel wrong for your not wanting to marry your girlfriend, SHE IS SIMPLY NOT THE ONE THAT HAS YOUR HEART. ONCE YOU DO FIND THAT WOMAN WHO FITS YOUR 'STRINGENT' CRITERIAS, YOU WILL BE BEGGING TO MARRY HER. IT IS A MENTAL DESIRE TO HAVE OWENERSHIP OF A SORT OF THAT WOMAN.

FORGET OTHERS AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE. I RESPECT YOU FOR STICKING TO YOUR GUNS.

Answer 2

I think there are two different topics here. If you get divorce and there are kids involve then you will have to pay some sort of child support. But this is for the kid not for the parent albeit some people use this as a weapon. By the same token, if you are not married and have kids you are still responsible and will still need to pay child support regardless of marriage status. So, child support is independent of being married or not. There is however, alimony. If you provide a person a certain lifestyle and then get divorce you are kind of obligated to keep supporting that lifestyle. I think thats where the law gwts a bit iffy. I think the idea of this law is to protect the parties involved. For example if the man is a well off executive but the wife is a saty home mom then the guy decides to leave the wife for a younger girl the older wife would be screwed. If she has no other means of fending for herself she would be in a really bad shape. To prevent this this law was created. But, this is not a one way street. There are men who bennefit from this law too. One good example is Kevin Ferderline. That is Britney's Spears ex hubby. She had all the money and he is a nobody. Well, nobody in light of her fame. So, he gets some money for that., I think this law is well intentioned but easily and often abused. The thing with marriage is that people confuse two different aspect of it and mixed them together wrongfully. There is the spiritual side and the legal side. The spritual side says that you commit to someone in a more transendetal way. Is a promise. I have to say that spiritual means different things to different people but it usually means that human law has nothing to do with it. So, you could be married in your heart or spiritually (not neccesarily the same thing) and not be legally married. The other part is the legal marriage. The reason for the legal marriage is to govern and regulate certain practices. For example, if two people are spiritually married yet, are not legally married and something where to happen to one of them, the other one has very little options or say pertaining legal matters. For example, lets say the man in a relationship has an accident and falls into a comma. If the wife is not legally married she would have no say on what happens to him. The family can come in and say pull the plug or say not to pull the plug. The wife may have a different opinion on the matter but legally she could not do anything. So, if there where conflicting options it would not go well, especially if the wife is not well liked by the family. Also, remember that back in the day woman where not allowed to have property. A man could have an "accident" just a few days after going against the railroad companies wishes to buy his farm. Because there may not be any inheritors the railroad company could take over the land. However, with the marriage law, the wife would now own the farm and the railroad could not do anything except perhaps send in another henshment. And there lies the battle for same sex marriage. I know is a different topic but it fits right in. Is same sex marriage a spiritual marriage or a legal one. If its not legal then when one of the party members is missing the other one suffers. They would have no rights over the investment they have made over the life time unless they left a legal document specifying certain legal rights. They could just leave it as a spiritual marriage but then people fight over what is spiritual and what is not. Anyways, you don't have to get married if you don't want to. Just remmeber to change partners every so often because most states have a law that if you live with a partner (male female relationship) for a certain number of years (usually 7) you will become legally married by default. On the other hand you could get married legally and not be married spiritually. That is a marriage of convinience or some special arrangement. Bottom line is that you have choices but these choices are often dictated by life circumstances. For example, if your company offers a good medical plan, your partner will not benefit from it unless you are married or are blodd relative. So thats a good reason to have a legal marriage. Like everything in life there are pros and cons to it.

Answer 3

The benefit from marriage is not what you can get out of it, but what you can put into it. If you are in a relationship with someone you can be yourself with and you can see yourself being with this person forever, than marriage is generally the next step. However, not everyone thinks you have to have a legal contract in order to commit yourself to someone and there is nothing wrong with that. . Marriage is a contract in the legal terms. It is also a union between two people that lets everyone know your commitment to this person. You both combine your assets and your worth doubles. In the case of divorce, than yes you can loose half of everything and if you entered into the union with more than your spouse, there is a good chance you could leave with less. I see no problem with asking your partner to sign a prenuptial agreement for the assets you've had before the marriage and anything that was accumulated during the marriage could be split if it comes to divorce. To answer you question on how does a man benefit from marriage? The same way you benefit from your relationship only you are letting them know that you love and trust them enough that you are willing to put everything you are and everything you have at stake for them and your relationship. If you do not feel that way about your partner, than you really shouldn't get married and keep things the way they are.

Answer 4

Benefits of marriage: This is only if you're willing to put in the time and work at it. If you don't plan to put in the time in a marriage, get a dog and just leave it at that.

1) Someone to share your life with. That may not sound great all the time but there is bound to be a time where you come home from work and just want to talk to someone about what happened. a wife will be there or relatively close. A girlfriend might be or might not be. Your boys don't give a rats a** about it.

2) A home that looks decent. Face it: we guys live like cavemen left to our own devices. A wife can make the house you live in, whether it's a trailer in tornado alley or a penthouse on the upper east side look pretty damn good.

3) A lady in the stret and a freak in the bed. Enough said on that

4) Your own set of children. Yeah you can do this with a dozen girlfriends but it's a lot easier to buy just ONE mother's day gift and not 12 for all your baby's mamas.

Now you've got to put up with some things and you're not always going to like her. Yeah, at time she will be a raving biatch but guess what? At times you can be a total ****** so it balances out. The tax breaks are good too. 80k single sucks every April 15th. 80k married with kids and mortgage makes it a lot easier. And yeah, you might lose half of your stuff but like I said, you only marry if you are ready to work at it. If you're in it for the long haul, then it's a good thing.

Answer 5

Sounds like your not the marriage type period. There would be no changing your mind because it's already made up. And that's alright because it's not cut out for everyone. The guy I've been with for 5 yrs now , he's 44, said a long time ago he wouldn't ever get married. Well apparently he was right! Yes I want to, but I truly love him, so, here I am stuck with him by both our choices, but still not married.
If your stuck on not getting married because you feel it's a contract, then you need to keep it like that. Because if you was to ever get married feeling like that, it would end. The way you feel now about it, nothing could change your mind... not anything.

Answer 6

I hope you don't expect women to put out for you without that commitment. You have no right to expect that.

If money is your first love, then you don't need to be married anyway. But go down to the bank, withdraw a couple hundred in $20 bills and sleep with them in bed with you and see how loved you feel.

Marriage is not a contract. It is a covenant before God. If you expect to go into it with the mindset of "if it don't work out, well simply split and be friends", you are not mature enough for the committment. It takes a real, mature adult to engage in such a venture as marriage. Marriage takes guts and lots of work. It takes giving up oneself to please the other (and yes, that goes for the women too).

Marriage is not for the weak.

Answer 7

Sorry ladies but I understand his point. Although I do have to write that I would guess you have not found the woman who made you change your mind. If you have worked hard and accumulated financial security then a prenup might be in order. A marriage license is no guarantee but it does help provide the emotional security so many desire.

Don't marry unless you know in your heart it is right for you. I wouldn't be surprised if one day you realize it is the future you desire and that love/respect/trust/admiration are the things that have been missing in your past relationships.

Answer 8

Well, Greg, for starters, I'd suggest that you're a bit too focused on your "stuff."

Forget the idea of marriage for a moment and focus on the idea of the relationship, cause that's where it's at.

Sure, all of Life is a gamble; welcome to Life.

But seriously, you find a woman you like, you love, and with whom you (hopefully) have a list of common interests (besides good sex).

Take a year to get to know one another, warts and all.

Discuss all your important issues and your deepest fantasies.

Determine that neither one is seriously neurotic or an axe murderer.

After a year, you can decide whether or not you have any potential for a long-term relationship.

Notice, I haven't said anything about marriage, yet...

For two people who are in love (and lust), marriage is but a minor detail if you have a sense of commitment.

Could you just "shack-up?"

Sure, you could.

But if you're a real "stand-up" man with a sense of commitment, why would you have any issues with marriage?

You commit to a variety of other "contracts" in life...which you - hopefully - intend to honor.

Honor is what it's all about.

Your word.

Is your word any good?

Or is your foot planted in the back door, ready to bail at the first sign of difficulty?

That's what makes the difference, bud.

36 happy yrs. here...and going strong.

Answer 9

I feel the same way you do. From where I see it there are no advantages for either party just as the woman can take half of what you have the man can do the same. It seems like every one is ending up in divorce anyway. So if living together without a contract works for both of you than go right ahead. My perspective the are very little benefits.

Answer 10

A real man would already know the answer to that question.

IF YOUR IN LOVE AND YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THAT PERSON AND YOU NATURALLY WILL MAKE A COMMITMENT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIVES TOGETHER, TILL DEATH DO YOU PART, THEN YOU BENEFIT, BUT FROM THE PERSON YOU MARRIED!

IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU STILL HAVEN'T MET THE WOMAN THAT YOU COULD SOMEDAY CALL YOUR WIFE