we still care very much for each other, not sure how to handle this situation?
2007-06-12 11:23:45 · 24 answers · asked by John V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She needs to be true to herself...
Be thankful she wants to share who she truly is with you.
It may mean a permanent end to your marriage/romantic relationship -- but if she lives a lie with you it wouldn't be a real marriage/romantic relationshp anyway.
Keep communicating and supporting each other. Hopefully she will treat your feelings with sensitivity and you will accept the truth.
2007-06-12 11:26:33 · answer #1 · answered by Heather L 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I hope no one gets upset that I say this, but would you consider bringing a female into the bedroom? If you do this with her, you seriously have to think of ALL the consequences. Some relationships are able to handle this, some aren't. I don't know all the details but maybe she just fantasizes about women, but really isn't a lesbian?!?!? THAT IS COMMON!
2007-06-12 18:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.darkbladez 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Caring for each other is not the way a marriage is supposed to be, and in 10 years you never had a clue? I feel for you.
Your vows obviously play a role in the way you feel. If you were married in a church, seek council there. I know she can't change her preferance, although she did choose you. Talk to someone, and maybe she needs to do alot of thinking as well.
Good luck!
2007-06-12 18:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by maureen g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask her, not us. If she still feels comfortable staying married to you, then you need to ask yourself whether or not you want to live with someone who is now saying she's a lesbian. But if she feels she needs to be open as a lesbian, then you need to let her go even if it's not what you want. No sense in staying in a relationship where the one person isn't committed 100%.
2007-06-12 18:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her be what she is. She can't control her sexuality, and it is extremely unhealthy for her to suppress/ignore her sexuality. Be understanding! It took alot for her to finally come out and tell you this information, and u should respect that. you two should find a way for both of u to be happy, or your relationship will fail to thrive. If her feelings are too strong for you two to carry on this relationship as it was meant to be from the beginning, then if you truly love her you would let her be with the sex she is attracted to the most. If you want this to be a peaceful, loving and understanding transition in your and her life, then follow my advice.
2007-06-12 18:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this isn't a joke as one poster replied...
I used to have a student and her parents were also married for 9-10 years when she (the wife) came out to her husband. She was in love with her best girl friend. The husband took it HARD and was inappropriate in his behavior and actions after that. He badmouthed his wife, called her a "dyke" and openly talked about how disgusting his wife was in front of their daughter. It took him quite some time to get used to the idea....fought her in court....and for years now (I heard through the grapevine) still is bitter towards his ex-wife.
Best advice....try to deal with it as positively as you can. It's very hard for homosexuals/lesbians to come out of the closet. The social stigma about it provides a bitter attack when made public. I know you feel betrayed,...which is the hardest issue of all...
Good luck to you...
2007-06-12 18:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by Lovin' Life As Mama & Wife 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear she's been on the loose....The only way she would know she is a Lesbian is actually participating in such a way. I would have her pack her bags and get out! If she really Cared about you or loved you she would have remained TRUE to you and not some stupid idea floating around her little head.......Ughs....Get a good attorney and try to get on with your new Life.....Hope their isn't little kids envolved....
2007-06-12 18:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mona Lisa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is all up to you and your comfort zone. If you can love her still and work through this, then do. If you'll need to sacrifice (give her lovers) and you can handle that, great. But if it's too much and she's no longer interested in being with you physically, this may be the end of your marriage. I hope you can work through it though.
2007-06-12 18:28:56 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If she wants to pursue a lesbian relationship, you need to get separated and divorced and don't look back.
If she wants to stay with you, then you must establish the rules of how your marriage is going to survive. Not all marriages are traditional and you need not worry about being judged, cause it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. BESIDES, PEOPLE ONLY KNOW WHAT YOU TELL THEM.
THE MAIN POINT IS, DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY AND WHAT YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER ONLY! GOOD LUCK.
2007-06-12 22:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt take it personally or get mad at her (unless she has cheated on you). She loves you! Alot of gay people get married,have kids ect.. Because they want to feel normal. Its probly been really hard for her all these years to deal with the feelings of not feeling right sexually. Just be understanding. I know this has to hurt but really theres nothing you can do about it. Its a different story if she has cheated on you though. Then I would say the hell with her!
2007-06-12 18:28:42 · answer #10 · answered by Susy_Q 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋