Happily married or Happy successful partnerships - what is the #1 contributing factor?

Question

For happy couples:
- What has been the #1 contributing factor to the success of your relationship?
- What is the most important lesson you have learned that has helped your relationship?
- What has made your relationship stronger?
- What have you learned from your partner/husband/wife?

Right on with the separate bathrooms! We shared a bathroom for 1 year & when we bought a house we made sure there were two.

Answer 1

Brutally honest and open communication.

Marriages are hard work!

Answer 2

There are two contributing factors for me, not one.
1. Friendship. We were friends for years before we actually got together. All of the things that come with friendship- respect, compatibility, enjoying the same type of things- helped to strengthen the relationship. He is still my best friend because of this.

2. Communication. We are honest with each other and sometimes it's painful. But in general, small resentments don't build up because of it. My experience in past relationships is it's the small stuff that leads to the big stuff. If you feel free to openly communicate, it's a non-issue.

To answer your other questions:

I learn things from him almost daily. Literally. We have the exact same job, for the same company, in different locations- so we bounce ideas off each other almost daily. He's smart and he challenges me and he manages things different than I do.

I really believe our friendship is what makes the relationship so good and so strong. I don't know many couples that say their partner is their best friend. In my case, he is and that means the world to me.

Wow- I feel all sappy now. :)

Answer 3

I think my husband and I qualify. We just celebrated our 29th anniversary and look forward to many, many more.

So, here goes:

- What has been the #1 contributing factor to the success of your relationship? R-E-S-P-E-C-T. We respect each other as competent human beings, and we each respect ourselves. FWIW, I have never known a successful marriage to be lacking in respect for each other and respect for themselves.

- What is the most important lesson you have learned that has helped your relationship? To accept imperfection in ourselves and each other; to be able to apologize when we screw up, acknowledge without excuses that we were wrong, and then to go on from there without "keeping score" or holding onto hurt or anger.

- What has made your relationship stronger? Respect for each other that has grown over the years, and love for the good things we see in each other.

- What have you learned from your partner/husband/wife? That I can screw up and still be loved. This was an important lesson for me, because I grew up with an abusive father who found fault with everything I did and withheld love as a punishment. I grew up believing that love was something you could only get if you were perfect, and it took a long, long time for me to become confident that if I screwed up in the normal human ways, my husband would not stop loving me.

My husband and my daughter are the best things that ever happened to me. I love them both and every day I give thanks for the good things my marriage has brought me.

Answer 4

Well lets start at the top
-The number 1 thing is communicating LISTEN to what your partner is saying, don't just assume. And no matter how insignificant it may seem talk about it. The key word being talk, not yell
-You have to take care of yourself. If you become unhappy with yourself you can't be happy with someone else. It really does help the relationship. So take care of yourself if you want to take care of someone else.
-We have two kids now, and that parental bond has really strengthened us. (but we wont let parenthood define our relationship)
-We need our space! And in giving the other person some space we want to be closer to each other. And never take each other for granted.
- My advice. Date each other, even after your married. And Never go to bed angry!

Answer 5

Communication is key.

Fight fair. Try to avoid namecalling. If you cannot avoid namecalling, walk away and cool down until you can.

Our relationship has become stronger overcoming the bad times. It's how you handle the bad times that defines you, not how you handle the good ones.

#1 thing I learned from my wife: patience. Marriage takes hard work, patience, and a little luck. During those times she tries my patience, I remember the times I've tried hers. Married folks really know how to push their spouse's buttons. It takes patience to not respond in kind.

Answer 6

-Never thinking about divorce, you married tell death do you part.
-It is not all about you. You are a team and you are on the same team. You both want to win together.
-Sickness, going through some rough times (Cancer) and being strong after it.
-Not to take life so serious.

Marriage is a roller coaster ride. You will have ups and down, twists and turns! You will have good times and bad times. But knowing you can make it and you will be stronger, it is all well worth it.

Answer 7

Honesty and communication! You have to be able to share your thoughts and feelings and you have to be able to be open to your spouses feelings. You may not always agree with them but you must hear them out.

Our most important lesson was realizing that we see/hear things differently. My husband never looks beyond the surface. If I ask him what he is thinking and he says nothing, he really means nothing. If he asks me what I am thinking and I say nothing, there is ALWAYS something underlying, for me I am always reading between the lines. Its important to remember that men and women see things differently and this causes problems if you can't learn to see things in each others eyes.

Learning to talk about things has made us a stronger couple. By sharing we learn about each other and are better able to understand each other.

My husband has taught me to love myself. He has instilled a confidence in me that I never thought was possible. His love for me gives me strength.

Answer 8

- Communication is the #1 factor for success
- I've learned not to take my spouse for granted
- Honesty and really listening to each other made it stronger
- I've learned that if you really love someone, you treat them that way.

Answer 9

Selflessness. If you worry more about making the other person happy, your own happiness will come naturally. I'm not saying neglect yourself or your own needs, but by my wife contrinually trying to make me happy and vice versa, we have a very happy marriage.

Answer 10

Separate bathrooms.

Answer 11

#1 contributing factor: GOD
- including the Lord in our plans and following his will
- be honest to one another and trust that God has a plan for us
- Prayer and faith
- I have learned to love.....etc.