So, my partner and I have sort of...separated. We agreed we would keep things out of courts for the children. He demanded I draw up a visitation agreement and that he just doesn’t trust me. No hesitation, I agreed, I feel it’s only safe anyway. We signed it, done. He said he’d draw up a Child Support agreement in the future when he gets on his feet, I agreed. Now that I have asked him to draw one up, he replies, “Attached is the agreement, feel free to make suggestions or improvements. I don't really want to do this, I know I'm going to pay and it seems like a low
move. But perhaps this will give you some assurance which makes it worth it.” Can you believe him?!
2007-06-12 10:47:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, No. He's paying and it's all notarized. But can you believe him?!!!
2007-06-12 10:54:59 · update #1
NO NO, WE WERE NEVER MARRIED!
2007-06-12 11:08:10 · update #2
You would have been much better off getting an attorney to help with this. This is not legal and cannot be enforced through the courts. He could at anytime change on you. Believe me it happens more than you think. If anything go through child support because they will make sure the kids get what they deserve. When in a situation like this, please don't trust the other person to carry through.
2007-06-12 11:00:43 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. You two can't divorce yourselves. That has to be done in court - so eventually you are going to have to deal with it.
2. All you're doing is drawing up nonsensical documents that are not legally binding to either party. You're not home selling a used car, dear. You're getting a divorce and, like it or not, that involves A.) getting legal representation and B.) going to court. Now - how difficult and nasty this is going to be directly depends on BOTH OF YOU.
It sounds to me like one or both of you just doesn't want to deal with the hassle. But make no mistake - you're not doing anything by drawing up these "fantasy" agreements.
To answer your question:
No - I would not believe him. Nor, if i were him, would I believe anything you said.
Get lawyers. Get a divorce. If, indeed, that is what you want.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION TO YOUR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
I don't care if it's noterized by Jesus and Abraham Lincoln - hear me now and believe me later - THESE DOCUMENTS ARE NOT LEGALLY ENFORCABLE IN A COURT OF LAW. YOU HAVE ABSOLUTLY NO RECOURSE IF HE CHOOSES TO STOP PAYING.
Geez Louise. This is why you get lawyers to help you - because you have no idea what you are doing!
Trust what everyone on here is telling you - GET LEGAL REPRESENTATION.
MORE INFO TO YOUR INFO
I don't know how much more clearly I can make this to you.
1. Okay - you weren't married. You still need to see a child custody attorney.
2. As I, and almost every single other person replying to your question, have told you - these "documents" you two are drawing up mean nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. While your at it - why don't you draw up a noterized document that makes you queen of Indiana. Yup - that makes about as much sense as what you are doing.
3. As # 2 is unequivocally, 100%, undeniably true - your documents legally bind neither your ex or yourself to ANYTHING. It is simply an agreement that you've both reached to make yourselves feel better. Once again - if you showed this to a judge, in a courtroom, he would laugh at you.
4. So - for the cheap seats - get a lawyer. Okay - you're not married - then get a CHILD CUSTODY LAWYER WHO CAN LEGALLY WORK OUT THE DETAILS OF CHILD SUPPORT AND VISITATION RIGHTS.
2007-06-12 10:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by mantoothnation 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe you are not going through the courts. If he does not pay, how will you collect? Not to mention just giving him a free ride till he gets on his feet. That is not how it works.
I cant even began on what a mistake you are making. This is something you would have to settle for if there is more than one wife..................
2007-06-12 10:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that's why they got child support enforcement. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/
The Office of Child Support Enforcement
2007-06-12 10:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are thinking feelings and he is thinking logically, it's what men do. Don't blame him, he is actually doing the right thing for you, him and the children.
2007-06-12 10:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney. TODAY.
You are being penny wise and pound foolish on this one.
2007-06-12 10:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by flyfish_777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's terrible...sorry to hear that it came to that! Good Luck to you.
2007-06-12 10:54:21 · answer #7 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋