about 2 months ago my husband cheated on me (we both work at the same place) with one of our co-workers, word was that she was watching him for a while and they had sex one 4 occasions and it is over he is sorry that it ever happened and for a while he could not look me in the face,and slowly we are moving on day by day ,but last week we had a fight about my trust issues and he called her on the phone and talked to her and he admitted to he talked to her several times and when he realized how much this hurt and upset me he said he wont ever do it again and now i dont know what to do .
2007-06-12 10:17:31 · 15 answers · asked by er5199 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has not stopped contact with her, he may still be cheating. You have trust issues because HE CHEATED! If you don't want to stay married to someone who cheats, get rid of him!
2007-06-12 10:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you took your husband back too easily after finding out he cheated. By doing this he has learned that he can get away with it. I can imagine the pain his betrayal has caused you, but if you really want to fix your marriage he needs to first feel the consequenses of his betrayal of his marriage vows. You must make the biggest reaction to his cheating in order to wake him up to reality. In other words, leave him, let him face the truth of what he has done, let him see what he will lose if you and him were to get a divorce, how much money he will have to pay for a divorce, alimony and if there are children, child support. All this takes time, you need time to make him see the errors of his ways. Otherwise, he knows all he has to do is say he is sorry, show a display of remosre to you and he will know you will take him back. You need to give this transition time in order to make him come to see the damage cheating has done. I do wish you the very best.
2007-06-12 17:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should understand that you are not going to trust him for quite some time. But that does not mean to throw it in his face every chance you get. I would tell him to get a new job, now. You guys got into a fight and he called her, that says quite a bit. If you really want to save your marriage, you need to sit down and have a serious talk about things. You need to renegotiate a few things, like total and complete honesty. I have delt with dishonesty, but not to this degree. My marriage was still on the rocks from it though. I read two books by Dr. Laura Schlesinger, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, and Woman Power. They may sound like something out of the 50's, but it is about how woman really do have most of the power in the relationship. But not about controlling him, or demeaning him. The other book out is The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage. My husband read it with me and we worked on it together.
2007-06-12 17:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously not just been intimate with this woman, there's an emotional thing going on between them. If it were me (and this is just my opinion), if I wanted to save the marriage, I'd make him get a new job, and I'd find one for myself too. That takes "her" out of the equation. If he goes and seeks her out, still...well, time to leave. Sorry you're going through this.
2007-06-12 17:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by Luvitall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the Q he sounds like a jerk why would you want to stay with him? he is a liar and a cheat and he is going to make you feel bad cause you don't trust him, this was not a one time thing this was 4 times and still having contact with her..ya he'll stop .....get away from him..
2007-06-12 17:22:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheating is a hard situation and it takes an extremely strong and confident person to trust the cheater once again. if you really love him and sincerely believe he will not do it again then you should work through this problem...for me however, once you cheat your done. there aint no second chances when it come to cheating. but my circumstances are different than yours so you should judge for yourself
2007-06-12 17:24:05 · answer #6 · answered by j t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He makes choices that he knows will hurt you. Why would you stick around for to make more choices like that? Eventually you'll grow sick of it and leave so why not leave early on. Divorce sucks. It is hard and emotionally painful. It is still better then being walked on by someone who claims to love you.
2007-06-12 17:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should realize that he has someone as a back up in case you get mad at him. So remember not to push him to far or he will go.
2007-06-12 17:49:58 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but I really do not think he is gonna change.......
and stop saying "she was watching him" I am SURE he played his part in the whole thing.
Four times is NOT being sorry....
2007-06-12 17:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say do what makes u happy cuz in the end that's all that matters. he grown so he can't make a mistake 4 times and b apologetic about it.
2007-06-12 18:27:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋