How do I get my employees to stop bossing me around?

Question

I own a small business, and I hired some young women to work in the office, and they noticed that I am not a very assertive person, so they started telling ME what to do, and they think it's funny.
How do I take charge of my office again?

Answer 1

think about it. YOU'RE the boss, now take charge! get really pissed off. don't hold back, just kick some @SS, figuratively speaking, of course.

Answer 2

You get some assertiveness training. They actually have courses. There are other things you can do, but you have to stop acting like you hired people to be your friends and start acting like the boss. Can you 'fake' being assertive, in other words, act like what you think an assertive person would do?
If you really can't act in a professional way, then fire the ringleader, that should bring the rest of them into line and start looking for a fresh start with a new staff, but remember, that won't work if you don't change.

Answer 3

Anytime you lose the respect of your employees, it goes downhill from there. You have to be assertive or at the very least pretend to be in front of them. Let them know in no uncertain terms that you are the boss and THEY do as YOU say, not the other way around. You must COMMAND respect! Usually I have found there is a 'ringleader' and the rest follow their lead. You may need to meet with the biggest offender and set her straight. If all else fails, replace them.
You could start by saying "I am here to run MY business and if you have a problem taking orders from me, you may wish to find employment elsewhere." Don't give them any leeway.
Good luck to you :) And remember YOU worked hard to be where you are, you DESERVE and should DEMAND respect!

Answer 4

You want a good working atmosphere, so let them have their joke and laugh with them. Then tell them to get back to work and give them some supervisory instructions.

You may need to hire an office manager or promote one of your young women to that position. When you do, make it clear to that person that YOU are in charge, and, while the other workers can enjoy a more relaxed environment, you will not tolerate insubordination from her.

Answer 5

Dump the girls that do that and GET assertive. If you want to be a boss behave like one. Try being the boss of a squad of Marines. Then you would have learn to be assertive. I am not overly assertive, but there were thing I had to do that I was not comfortable with and I couldn't let them read my feelings. You don't have to a Hitler to be a good boss.

Answer 6

first off you are the boss and can hire and fire anyone at anytime and they need to be reminded of this. You need to let them know that you aren't gonna be pushed around and made to look stupid. You have to stand up for yourself or they won't stop and just run all over top of you. Get firm with them and if you have to raise your voice a little. It sounds like that is what they really need. It is your company, not to many people get that opportunity in life. don't let them take that away from you.

Answer 7

I am a female manager in my 20's and only one of my employees is female and younger than me. Get assertive , write someone up. You have to earn respect to get it. You worked hard for your business I am sure and it sounds like these girls will help flush all that down the toilet. Just remember be proactive not reactive.... Don't ever let the people beneath you boss you around remind them whos paying them and remind them who can stop doing that too.

Answer 8

Sorry, but I am afraid that you are going to have to assert yourself and let them know just who is the Boss. Yes you will go red in the face after doing it, you will feel uncomfortable, but they will gain respect for you and you will regain the respect for yourself.

I have staff and everyday I tell myself that I am at work to do a job and not to be popular!!!

Answer 9

First mistake was to make friends. You can be friendly don't get me wrong. But when they say something, just tell them you would rather things happen your way. If they don't like it then they can find a job somewhere else. I am having the same problem, only the one i hired is my husbands, best friends, girlfriend. IT SUCKS!!! But you have to put your foot down. Because after all. YOU ARE THE BOSS!!!!!!

Answer 10

i have a boss that is kind of like that. she seems like a pushover and a people pleaser when you first talk to her, but over time she has earned my respect by how hard she works.

here's a few of things she's done that's really impressed me:
be the first one there and last one to leave

stay busy or at least seem that way all the time, and with important things like meetings, phone calls, emails, etc. or urgent issues involving your own boss, clients, and/or customers. it will make your employees either want to stay busy too to keep up with you and/or help out or make them feel useless and try to find things to do.

make yourself available to assist your employees and answer their questions to help them solve probelms and get the job done. dont make them feel neglected or like they have no where to turn for assistance which can make them resentful and angry with you = bossy

always be professional, even when they're not

remain positive no matter what

know when to get serious and when to just have fun

dont play or goof off longer than everyone else during social time. always seem like even though your being cooperative and associating yourself, you still have other important things to do and must excuse yourself soon. they'll appreciate your presence more since your time will seem more valuable rather than a waste

know the ins and outs of your job and everyone elses. be the go-to person for info and make your employees feel like you always have something to teach them or know more than they do. it will make you seem wiser and confident. they'll be more likely to ask for your opinion and advice and include you in their decisions.

keep secrets - it's ok to close your office door once in a while during office hours for privacy. and you definitely dont owe anyone an explaination for whatever happens behind closed doors. plus it should already be understood that your employees shouldnt even bother asking because it's none of their business or they would have been asked to come in. nothing says i'm the boss like have private conversations on the phone or in person with associates behind closed doors in front of everyone. it makes you seem mysterious and important, and leaves your employees guessing, especially when you handle it all as if its nothing and no big deal. you dont and shouldnt have to tell your employees EVERYTHING.

spend some of your time by yourself or just away from your employees but remain reachable by email, phone, office visits, im, etc. the more time they're around you the more comfortable they'll feel and the more likely they'll get bossy

hold them accountable for any mistakes, problems, issues, and/or broken rules such as coming in late, going past their lunch hour, not staying on top of their work and not completing their tasks on time. considering you sign their paychecks and have the right to fire them, you have the right to bring things like this to their attention so that they can focus more on themselves than trying to boss you around. but also, make sure you stay on top of your own job and arent breaking any rules yourself which could cause them to turn around and point the finger or blame on you. you are the example and most employees will follow your lead.

if you exceed expectations at your job and work 10x harder than they could ever do without killing yourself or taking yourself too seriously then all they can do is have respect for you because YOU are the boss. there's a reason your the in the position of authority and whatever it took to get there is what you need to do every once in a while to remind them why YOU have that power.

if they do continue to boss you, then take back control in a way that means business without being mean. look them straight in the eye, use an aggressive tone without yelling, dont back down, dont make a scene, and if push comes to shove, fire them! that should be example enough if the leftover still want to keep their jobs.

good luck!

Answer 11

If you don't address the issue, it isn't going to go away by it self. If you want more respect from your employees, then you need to carry yourself as someone that deserves respect. There are plenty of books on management techniques, but the problem that needs to be solved is that you need to establish authority. The way I would go about it is very straightforward. I would call a meeting of the entire staff. At the meeting, I would call it to order very quickly and say that you have something very important to say and demand their undivided attention and no talking or comments until the end, and if they snicker of mock you, you should quickly tell them that they are being paid to be there and should act like it. If they continue, a very firm, but not yelling, (use a very firm point with each directive) "if you don't want to be here(pointing down) , there is the door (switching hands form previous point, toward door)and your car is in the parking lot ( switching hands againg now toward parking lot) and don't forget your personal belongings on the way out (don't point at a specific person or desk, but instead throw a waist high shrug with your hands). If you do want to work here that is great (emphasize the word great) with me, but I'm the boss and when I call a meeting to order I expect professional courtesy and your undivided atttention. (few moment pause for effect) So decide right now (knock your finger on the table a about 3 times)........What's it going to be......Do you want to be part of this team or not?(pause as shock settles in and the expressions on the faces change) If nobody moves toward the door, you say "ok. great. let's get started. I want to talk about professionalism. I want work to be fun, but the bottom line is that this is a business. There are some problems with the (make quote marks with your fingers) "fun" that has been happening around here. I don't appreciate being told what to do by my employees, even if it is in jest, but it stops as of this moment. Are we clear?.......(fill in the rest) . If at anytime some one interupts or tries to make light of what you're saying, quickly remind them that at the beginning of the meeting you asked that all comments be held to the end. If they persist, call them by Ms. (last name) and ask them if they like their job. (long pause) If they become beligerent and you don't want to fire them on the spot, you can tell them either to take the rest of the week off and think about if they want to continue working there or tell them that you will gladly have this conversation with them in private after our meeting about professionalism and then tell them to take the rest of the week off in private. If some one does move toward the door, you say "wait a minute. (pause. look down for a moment and then into the eyes of the person and extend your hand to shake theirs) Thank you for all of your hard work. I will give you a good reference if you need one. bye now. (after they leave) turn back to the others and say "ok. great. let's get started.....


..If that doesn't work, I am unemployed right now and looking for a job and will treat you with respect.