Please write a SOOOO good story using these song titles from Camelot?

Question

How To Handle A Woman
If Ever I Would Leave You
The Simple Joys Of Maidenhood
I Loved You Once In Silence
Take Me To The Fair
What Do The Simple Folk Do

Answer 1

All of us gripped the armrests of the too small airline seats as we knew any moment whe would crash into the thick Amazon jungle. I quietly cursed myself for flying with an unknown airlines, but it was too late now. Upon impact it was like a horrible dream as first the cabin tore away from the fuselage and pieces of jungle hurled down the isle. Prior to the crash the air was filled with screams and prayers, now as the plane came to a stop there was silence and some moaning.

Having just finished my second year of med-school, I knew there would be much to do. As most of the passangers were female, I was thankful for the course I had taken last semester on "How To Handle A Woman", I thought briefly of my fiancee waiting for me at home. I told her before I left, that "If Ever I would Leave you" I would surely return. Now I wondered if I would ever see her again, She was just now enjoying "The Simple Joys of Maidenhood.

We had met at John Hopkins, she was working in the office, where I went often to pay my tuition, it was love at first site. When I finally did ask her out, I confessed that "I Loved You One in Silence" but now I was enjoying making my love public.
On our first date, I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said"Take Me To The Fair". which I did. When I asked her to marry me, she was full of questions about the future. I t old her that I wanted to practice in a small town and just be simple folks. She asked me, "What Do The Simple Folk Do."
Now all that seemed like years ago in the past, and I wondered if we would ever be together again. Then I heard her voice, yelling in my ear, "wake up, wake up, you are going to be late for class!"

Answer 2

Dodge City, Kansas
Circa 1876

"Return To Dodge City"
Subtitle......"How To Handle A Woman"

Matt and Sunshine were so glad to be home again. Matt still needed time for his arm to heal, so Festus and Newley were acting in his stead. As U.S. Marshal he hadn't missed many days of work. Even with all the wounds he had sustained over the years, he had always insisted on returning to the office as soon as possible.....That was before Sunshine MacGillicutty had danced into his life. He had been attracted to her the first time he saw her: http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/james-arness-2.jpg
He had fallen in love with her shortly thereafter. She was like no other woman he had ever met. One minute she's be lying in a field of flowers wanting to make love to him, http://z.about.com/d/countrymusic/1/0/-/z/2/artist-martina.jpg . The next miute she'd be wearing some crazy *** get-up, http://www.flickr.com/photos/mondoagogo/215172611/ singing at the top of her lungs:

♫ " (3) The Simple Joys Of Maidenhood are never wasted on me.
Well I live and love and sing and shout I'm happy and I'm free.♫"

Yep, he loved his Sunny girl.

Breaking up with Kitty Russell,after a 20 year relationship, had caused quite a stir in town. When Matt turned his attentions to Sunshine, Kitty had turned to the bottle:http://www.waterindustry.org/images/drunk-woman-sml.jpg . All of this was very unsettling to Matt, but he had finally fallen deeply in love and he was where he wanted to be....by his Sunshine's side.

As Matt was lying in bed thinking these thoughts, in walked the gal herself.
Matt: "I was just thinking about you, you little chipmunk." He smiled warmly at her. "Did you know that I loved you right from the get-go?"
Sunshine:"Did you know (4) I Loved You Once In Silence?"
Matt:"When have you ever been silent?! I must have missed that!" Sunshine laughed as she cuddled in the crook of his arm. They lay like that for quite a while. Sunshine started to get up.
Matt:"Hey! where're you going?"
Sunshine:"(2) If Ever I Would Leave You it would only be to get
little puppy and kitten....You know.....A cozy family lie-in." He motioned for her to return to bed.
Matt:"I have a better idea." Sunshine took her customary flying leap in bed, complete with Tarzan scream!
Matt:"Jesus! When will I ever get used to that?!"

BREAK TO COMMERCIAL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7KsnnB3pps

Sunshine in her "afterglow:"........."Ohhhhh, MattBaby, I love the way you (1)How To Handle A Woman." Matt smiled proudly. "Seriously." She brushed some hair from her face.......
"(6) What Do The Simple Folk Do after THEY'VE been kidnapped by desperados......." She looked at him,smiling........
"And then rescued by their hero? Do you suppose they make sweet love .......like us?" She nibbled on his ear.
Matt:" Dunno, sweetie." He touched her face and traced her smile with his fingers.
Sunshine:" Mattie Pu?"
Matt:"Oh, Lord.....You have GOT to be kidding?!"
Sunshine: " (5) Take Me To The Fair just once more.................Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

ROLL CREDITS.