In most cases the only thing marriage counseling does is cost money that could have otherwise went to the kids and the relationship still ends. I have seen several studies that show the divorce rate for people in marriage counseling is actually slightly HIGHER then for couples with no counseling yet the answer to every question here seems to be "see a marriage counselor"!
2007-06-12 09:39:23 · 18 answers · asked by Steve J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Counseling simply teaches people to communicate more effectively.
Sometimes you don't have enough commonalities to make a relationship work, no matter how effective your communication.
2007-06-12 09:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by tropical 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The reason for the higher rate could be the fact that these people were in serious trouble before they went to counseling anyway. Marriage counseling can work, but both partners have to be willing to try. It helps sometimes to have a third persons perspective, who isn't emotionally involved to help sort out problems. Usually, though, by the time a couple starts marriage counseling, the marriage is doomed anyway. They let the issues get so bad that marriage counseling is more of the step they take before they call it quits just so they can tell themselves they tried. Which is a lie, but whatever works for them I guess.............
2007-06-12 09:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm actually a big advocate for divorce or temporary separation in lieu of counseling. If you rely on a 3rd party to help you work through problems and crises, you become dependent on having outside help to sort things out. That's ridiculous in a marriage. Some marriages just aren't good matches and there's no use throwing time and money after something that's doomed from the beginning.
2007-06-12 09:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by tooblessed2doubt 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Marriage counseling will only work if BOTH people are willing to, and WANT to work at the marriage. If one person no longer loves the other, no amount of marriage counseling will help the couple, but it may help the one that isn't ready for the marriage to end.
2007-06-12 09:42:45 · answer #4 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Marriage counseling may or may not work...It depends on the situation each couple is in and what the issues are.
It is a useful tool, but it is NOT a magic wand...!
It is an option for people who want to feel they tried their best- yet still failed. And it is more civilized than getting physical, don't you think?
Not everyone believes in it, like you....and that's OK.
2007-06-12 09:56:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is apples and oranges. Usually by the time you get to marriage counseling, it is already over and they end up telling you that. Also marriage counseling sometimes opens up the door to the blame game, and people actually talk about what is wrong.
The alternative is ignoring the truth, and avoiding the inevitable.
2007-06-12 09:44:04 · answer #6 · answered by Computer Dr. 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even if the end result is divorce, at least there is potential for personal growth in counseling as well as learning a few more communciation skills, having a safe place to vent and sort through ones feelings.
I'd like to know where you got your stats from though as I've heard differently.
2007-06-12 09:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
"everyone" doesn't think anything the same...many recommend it because it does work for some, and at least if the couple parts ways they'll know they gave it their best shot.
It really matters not whether we recommend it, the person posting will do whatever they desire regardless. I think "seek counseling" is often a better answer than "dump him/her" in cases other than blatant abuse or repetitive cheating (for example)...sometimes all the couple needs to do is learn to communicate.
Please do show your sources for higher divorce rates for couples that have counseling...I've sure not seen that stat.
2007-06-12 09:44:18 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
not everybody have all the answers. counseling is good because it encourages you to examine yourself, your actions &re-actions. it teaches you how to work through without giving up out of frustration. not all counselors cost too much. consider the price to be an investment in your love-life. most churches don't charge because marriage was GOD'S idea.why are you being so negative, anyway? It seems to me, that people in this day & time, do things different .I remember when people used to get engaged....the couple would invite friends & family & GOD to the wedding.
2007-06-12 10:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by NISSI 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Like a computer, garbage in, garbage out. If you go to counselling with all the wrong intentions, maybe to stop the nagging, or just going through the motions; you won't benefit from it. What it offers a way for communication. You get what you put in.
2007-06-12 09:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by ja'pen 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋