is being pregnant really as hard as some people say?

Question

i'm due in december so i know i got a ways to go. i have been told that being pregnant sucks, that its wonderful, that it hurts, that u get all hormonal and weird and your body goes out of whack, and u feel really fat once u start showing, and an unmarried couple isnt healthy for the baby, is all this true or what? info from mothers please and thanks. and another thing my boyfriend is the father but we aren't married. should the baby have my last name or his? we plan to live together and raise it together once we get the money to get a place. we are 18.

Answer 1

Every woman experiences pregnancy differently. There is no guarantee as to how you will feel. That goes for hormones, morning sickness, feeling fat, etc.

I don't believe it matters whether the parents are married or not, as long as the baby is raised in a loving and STABLE environment. I know plenty of children of unmarried couples that turned out "better" than children of married couples.

It is up to you and the baby's father as to whose last name it will have. It can have either one, or both, or you can coe up with a completely different last name if you want to. It's up to you.

The only thing that gives me pause is your age--I know age isn't everything, but please make sure you have plenty of support from friends and family. Good luck.

Answer 2

You should have asked these questions before you got pregnant at the age of 18. I dont think that being pregnant sucks at ALL! The first couple of months yes it can, my last 2 were miserable but I wouldn't say it sucked. This one is a a piece of cake so far and I to am due in December. It really depends on the person and the pregnancy.

Everyone has their opinion about raising a child without being married, personally I think that as long as the parents are living together and providing that baby with the proper care it doesn't matter what your marital status is.

There is no correct answer to either one of your question, you will need to experience it for yourself.

Answer 3

It is hard, but so worth it. When I pregnant with my first daughter at 9 months I looked like I was having triplets and felt like it to. The pregnancy was nice in a way. It is hard for your body and you do get hormoneal and emotional. After my first daughter I had harrible postpardum depression. But I also had people be extra nice to me, let me cut in line, get up and let me sit when there where no available seats and stuff like that. With my second she was laying on my syatic nerve so I could barely walk it hurt so bad (and ended up gaining a lot of weight due to it), everything the drs tried, she would move for a little bit then go back to the nerve. As far as being mar that doesn't matter . There are a ton of single mothers out there and even single fathers that raise wonderful kids. The last name is more up to you and the daddy. I dont think you must move in together just because you are having a baby, but move in together because you want to. You can hyphin the last name. Some woman dont want to give the baby the daddys last name, but I'm old fashioned in that way I guess. I think the baby should have the fathers last name (except in certain situations)

Answer 4

Being pregnant is different for every woman, and every pregnancy is different. I loved being pregnant both times, but it wasn't perfect: weepiness, heartburn, and toward the end, swollen feet and hemorrhoids. Still, growing that little person inside, feeling her kick and somersault -- amazing! No, I didn't feel fat. I felt pregnant. Unless you have an unhealthy fixation on your waist size, you won't get fat and pregnant confused. Wear whatever clothes make you comfortable, and enjoy the ride.

Whether or not a couple are married has no immediate impact on the child. Marriage does indicate a degree of commitment to one another that moving in together does not. However, what the child needs are parents who are equally delighted to be with each other and with the child. If that doesn't work out, then parents who are polite to each other and both love the child does pretty well, too.

You have choices as to the child's last name. Some folks go with hyphenating the two last names; I've seen quite a bit of that lately. Before you decide that it should be the father's last name, and please don't either of you be insulted by this: if he leaves you, the child is stuck with his last name. If it has to be one name, let it be yours. If you two get married, the child's name is easily changed. I've watched a child go through the trauma of discovering that her last name didn't match anyone she knows. Until you two are ready for a full commitment to one another and the child, avoid the problem.

Please be aware that the birth of the child will change everything about your relationship with your boyfriend -- and just about everyone else for that matter! Talk to other young parents, and prepare yourselves as much as possible ahead of time. You have made a lifetime commitment to your child, and I am deeply moved by your courage and maturity in so doing. But be prepared for the fact that the beginning of parenthood is, and should be, the end of your childhood.

God bless you both and your child. I think from your questions that you will do just fine.

Answer 5

Pregnancy affects women differently. First time Mothers tend to experience discomfort, negative emotions, and a lot of other things that you have described above. Being only 18 years old, I can imagine those feeling intensifying due to your age and new experience as a pregnant young lady. Pregnancy ( in its right state) is a blessing. Enjoy the baby growing and moving inside of you. Focus on the life that you are about to bring into the world, versus the horror stories that people tell you. YES giving birth hurts....but so does anything that is worth having and kepping....it's birthed in pain. The fact that you are unmarried ( since you asked) is unbiblical. God intended marriage so that we can eliminate much of the drama that we see today due to a child nto having married parents who are together. I must say that...since you did ask. However, it would be a TRAGIC mistake to marry for the child's sake. Good Luck with everything, and stay positive.

Answer 6

OK, why would it be bad for the baby if the parents aren't married? That makes no sense at ALL! I have seen married couples that argue non-stop! How is that better? Me and my bf have been together for 6 yrs and are having a baby and we couldn't be more happy. Marriage is a piece of paper...we dont need that to know how we feel about each other or to know that we will be together forever. Eventually we will get married but I don't see how that has anything to do with how the baby comes out. I am about 11 weeks and I feel normal, today anyway, sometimes I feel really fat because my belly gets bloated and at times i get sick but my symptoms are by far way better than some people and I can not complain thus far.

Answer 7

Everyone is different! I enjoyed being pregnant and I didn't feel fat I felt pregnant...lol! Yes you get hormonal just the way you do when your PMS'ing but I like that cause I had an excuse...hehehehehe! There are sme things about pregnancy that suck like stretch marks, swelling, morning sickness, some get acne but I didn't and dying your hair is hard to do because of the prenatal pills you take during pregnancy come out through your hair hence makes coloring not a good Idea, but all to me are worth suffering for the blessing that comes at the end of it all! Oh and yes it hurts like hell to give birth but all that pain gives such satisfication when its all over! I didn't really have pain when I urinated or BM'ed after birth it was although a little tender and that was it!

I've had three children and the experiences were all different from eachother! my first ,( which I had at 17 years old ),came two months early which was scary and my second wasn't too bad but my third was the most difficult pregnancy out of all three but she was the one that came out in only three pushes and the doc was barely there in time the catch her! I wouldn't trade those experiences for the world!

Oh and my first was with my Ex and I raised her by myself and she's turned out so far GREAT she is on honor roll and a very very good honest person..she is 9 and my two youngest are with my husband now but we weren't married when I had them! I have alot of friends who are single and raising one, two and even three children on there own and they are doing great, those children are fine because they don't know it any other way than they way it is! The only person I think its hard for (being a single parent) is the parent!

Answer 8

Each pregnancy is totally different. My first I had when I was 20 with a crappy guy. That was the easiest pregnancy. I felt great all the time, never felt sick. I had morning sickness every night at 11:10 and when it was over i felt great again. I was thin through-out and didn't show until seven months. Even labor wasn't all that bad. I also lost all the weight within 6 months after delivery. I had no intentions on staying with the baby's father and I knew he wasn't going to be around so I gave him my last name. Now i am only 4 weeks and i already feel like crap and nauseous over everything. So it depends on the pregnancy how you feel. This baby is going to have it's fathers last name even though I'm not married because the father deserves to have the child named after him. I suggest giving the baby his last name, and good luck, and congratulations!

Answer 9

I've seen some women... who just are so miserable during pregnancy that you really feel bad for them.

I personally, am very lucky! 26 weeks along... and it's not too shabby. I'll definitely let you know once the 3rd trimester begins.

I don't believe the thing about the unmarried couples. As long as your both there, healthy, happy, and ready to do the best you can for this baby... it will be well taken care of. As for the last name... that's a personal choice between the two of you. You can always change the name with yours once you're married...

Congratulations... and I hope you have one of the easy pregnancies.

Answer 10

Pregnancy strikes different on every woman. For some it is a drudgery for others it's like nothing is happening at all. You can make your pregnancy a little easier by taking good care of yourself, eating right, taking your prenatals + folic acid, etc. Your body will defenately change, you are "factoring" a baby and it will change.....about an unmarried couple being an unhealthy envirnment for the baby I don't think that's true, as long as the baby is loved and it's an stable environment I don't see the problem....better than many married couples that have babies but fight all day and yell at each other all the time, don't you think?