My husband and I have gone through a spell where he rarely shows me any attention or affection, is very distracted with work, never compliments me or asks about my day, no hugs and only attention in the bedroom. He basically takes me for granted. I get attention from other men, one particular man - whenever I see him, he actually acts glad to see me, smiles, gives me a hug. One time we went out to eat and he showed up with some other people and when I left, he had left a bottle of wine for me to take home, which was very thoughtful. I have asked my husband to show more affection, and in turn he shows less. Should I just be content with attention from other men, and this man in particular, or what? If I had my husband's attention I wouldn't need it elsewhere.
2007-06-12 08:10:26 · 29 answers · asked by casey308 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What are you asking us, Casey? If you should go have an affair with another man and cheat on your husband? Come on, now. Maybe you should leave a printout of this question and all the answers where you husband can find it. There is no question that he will try a little harder upon finding it. Or, then again, he might just throw you out of the house. Which one do you think he would do? Which one would you do if the roles were reversed? Think about what you are asking us here, Casey. Think long and hard before you possibly throw your whole life away. And for what? A hug? Someone to tell you you are pretty? Think, sweetie!
2007-06-12 08:22:05 · answer #1 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing worse than being ignored!!! Your husband is busy with work and you want his attention. Well make a plan do something to get his attention tell him you have booked a table for you both to go out to dinner, dress to impress and have some bubbly waiting in the bedroom when you return. You need time away from your home so get the chance to talk and have fun. Remind him how to have fun all work and no play. Forget the attention of other men you have your man.
2007-06-12 15:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by Magster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if your husband was getting that kind of attention from another woman?
Look; marriage is give and take. Sometimes you take more than you give, sometimes you give more than you take. Just because your husband isn't giving you 100% right now doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
It's time to let go of romantic fantasies where every day in married life is paradise. You're GOING to go through spells where you don't meet eye to eye, where you feel a little left out, when he drives you completely nuts (and vice versa). If you love him for who he is at the core, if you respect each other, and if you understand you're both human, then you shouldn't worry. He wasn't put on this earth to serve you or make your life happy, just as you weren't put on this earth to cater to his every whim.
Sit down, have an honest, calm discussion with him about how you're feeling. Tell him you understand he's been busy, but sometimes you feel very lonely and it would mean SO much to you if he could try to let you know you're still important.
Stop being a diva, communicate with your husband, and stop sniffin' around where you - as a married woman - don't belong.
2007-06-12 15:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a close look at your relationship. What has happened through the course of time that has changed it. First see if you can do things to get back that spark. Secondly, sit him down for a serious talk and explain to him that you donot wish to nag but the expectations of the marriage are not being met. Maybe he has some expectations of his own that are not being met as well and his lack to show affection is his way of showing it & you just don't see that. if you do sit down and TALK things out and he's completely unwilling to change - let him know that your headed for divorce because your not willing to settle for less then what you deserve & you deserve to be shown that you are loved.
The little signs are so important and most men just do not realize it - so again - start there. Other then that - know you have a right & yes - do what you must to never settle!
2007-06-12 15:29:40 · answer #4 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that if you had your husband's attention you would not need it from elsewhere. I would not start a relationship with another man. That would be wrong and against your marriage vows. If talking to your husband has not helped, I would get a divorce and move on. A relationship is hard enough already and if he is not willing to put in the work or willing to be affectionate toward you or take you feelings into account, it's time to go. Good Luck to you!
2007-06-12 15:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said he's distracted with work.
What I want to ask you is, what are you doing to alleviate his stress? Are you being kind and attentive to him? How about a massage, or some nice touch here and there? Maybe instead of requesting, you should try giving?
I am not criticizing you--we all go through this! Please know you're not the only one, and you're desirable to boot, as this interloper has shown you. Cast him out of your garden, girl, cause you askin for trouble! Instead, be creative with your man. If that doesn't work, I mean, after serious trying, then you may consider something on the side.
Mating In Captivity is an interesting read...maybe you should check it out!
2007-06-12 15:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by pola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The attention you get from other men should be irrelevant. Even though your husband is not treating you like he should, they should mean nothing to you. The best course is for you and your husband to fix your relationship. Talk with each other about it. If that's not enough, seek counseling. He needs to know what he's doing to you, and you need to know if there are any things you are doing that might be causing him to slide away. Granted, he's responsible for his actions, not you, but there be things you could be doing differently to make things better.
Fix what you already have.
2007-06-12 15:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by Jeremy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to compliment your husband, or give him extra attention first? Maybe you can get the ball rolling....
Attention from other men is flattering but I would tell this guy to back off personally. The only man you should want or need attention from is your husband. Good Luck
2007-06-12 15:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by juggalizzle 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your like 50% of other married women. Your husband stops I think beening deeply in love with you , real fast like. They take you for granted and their affection cools way down That is when women having another man just on friendly basic to start showing them attention and making them feel beaurtiful like your hubby use to do. It makes you feel like a woman that is desired again , because your husband just desires you only in the bedroom. It leads to something that makes you feel so wonderful that another man treats you like a woamn wants to be treated. Pretty soon you start looking forward to these meetings with the other man and thats when trouble begins to start in your marriage and ends up in divorce court.
2007-06-12 15:25:29 · answer #9 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're missing something from your husband, and it should be addressed. Women need affection; plain and simple. We're not like men, who only care about getting some. We need to be paid attention to, and appreciated, and your husband is the man who should be doing that. Address the problem with him, and ask why things have changed. It's nice to get attention from other men, but just don't act on it. If you're really not fulfilled by your husband, he needs to understand that you're really not happy.
2007-06-12 15:20:57 · answer #10 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋