Ok, so I have been going out with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months. He has an ex-wife and a kid with her. Well, I have still not met her, more because of me then anything else. I have never been married and have no kids so it is kind of weird for me. I don't want to be jealous, but it is really hard. When would be a good time to meet her? Or should I not? Also, if I do, what do I do so I am not jealous? Help!
2007-06-12 07:31:41 · 14 answers · asked by Jen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For starters why are you jealous they are divorced she is his past. Second, dont make her out to be Gods Gift to your man, Third from personal experience,Never is the best time to meet the ex.
I understand what you are saying as I did the same thing you are doing. Put her on this pedestal, because he married her she had to be better than me. First time I met her, I hated her, she was fat, had way too much make up on*(made her look like a tramp). I realized then that she was no better than me, that I was the important one, because he is with me now, not her. Tell yourself that over and over again. You are with him, she is not. No reason to be jealous.
2007-06-12 07:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing. I have been with my man for going on 4 years and I have yet to meet her. And still the rumors have not stopped. I am still getting the rumors. I have 3 of my own kids and he has 5 with his ex. And they all go to the same school. So needless to say the rumors are there all the time. As for being jealous you don't have to be, they are ex's for a reason. And if you do ever meet her just remember to be as nice as you can because if it is anything like what I have to go through, she will use the kids against you. The only thing I can say is good luck and best wishes to you.
2007-06-12 07:49:11 · answer #2 · answered by wildredhead1969 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given that you're living together, I think it's probably a good idea. I would certainly want to meet you if you were living in the home with my child's father. My ex and I have been divorced for 10 years. My general rule has been that I really haven't cared to meet anyone he's dated unless it becomes serious and they're going to be spending time with my children. At that point, I want to meet the person he's exposing them to on a regular basis. Don't worry so much about her. If their split is as amicable as you state then there shouldn't be a problem. I've only had a problem with one woman my ex had around my children in 10 years, and I was very honest with him about it. I didn't discuss anything with her, as she's not the parent of my children. I was actually quite polite with her. He is remarried now, and his wife and I get along quite well. I have no problems with her. When a split is amicable, there usually isn't any drama involved in exes meeting new love interests. There isn't in my case, at least.
2016-05-18 02:30:34 · answer #3 · answered by evan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.OK this is a question we hear a lot in our lives and I have to say why are you jealous? They broke up and when you break up that means you don't want each other anymore! and there is nothing else to solve... why do women and men get jealous of the ex.. they are ex for a reason and its not to make you jealous and it not to see each other its just the opposite. I would not want to get any where near there and let them deal with it on there own its not your business and if you are jealous you need to seek help because if you are jealous of them then there is no trust in yourself or him, He wants you that is why he is with you and not her they have a bond with the child and if they did not then he wouldn't even be speaking to her more than likely. but if you push the issue you could be pushing him away and sending the signal that you don't trust him. that cant be good for your relationship
2007-06-12 07:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by janelleapea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you born on the day that you met this boyfriend? No, of course not!
You have a past as well...should he be jealous of that?
He has a past - everyone has a past - why would you waste your time being jealous of someones past relationship that didn't work out (obviously)?
I would suggest not meeting her - if you are going to be jealous of her - of their old relationship, the child will sense that - no reason for you to cause stress for the child because Daddy's girlfriend doesn't like Mommy.
2007-06-12 07:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you jealous if SHE is the ex. Over a year is a very long time to have avoided meeting her. Have you met his child?
If you plan to be in this mans life you are going to run into her from time to time. Because they have a child together they are linked for a lifetime.
2007-06-12 07:37:12 · answer #6 · answered by sparky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just meet her and get it over with (if your getting serius with boyfriend). You don't have to be good friends with her, but aqaintances will be fine. If you really care about your boyfriend - then you need to care also for what he does- the child. Does he see the child? It helps to know the mother so you can both do what's best for the child.
I think it will take time to get over the jeolous thing. When I first hooked up with my second husband I would get jeolous of her (occationally) when he talked to her for to long or when she kept calling him. I learned to not let it bother me because if I did I just made a *** of myself and regretted it later when the kids came to visit.
2007-06-12 07:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by Tex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/6Rtoy
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-22 01:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you and your boyfriend live together? Obviously he wants to be with you and not her so there is no reason to be jealous. I met my now stepdaughters mom after 2 months BUT that was her choice not mine. We do not get along so if the issue is not pressed do not worry about it. It is just less drama you will have to deal with.. Good luck!
2007-06-12 07:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by To The Point 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell are you jealous? Do you not spend time with your boyfriends child? If so, you should have been met his mom. Its time to meet and greet and stop with the jealous crap.
2007-06-12 07:50:52 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋