Has anyone else been jealous of a pregnant relative?

Question

Me and my hubby have one child and have been trying for another one for over a year. I was just diagnosed with secondary infertility and the dr said we have a very slim chancing of ever conceiving again. My husbands sister is pregnant with twins and that is pretty much all she talks about. Since we have been told we probably won't have any more kids, I have been devastated since we always wanted a big family and it seems as if his sister is always talking about being pregnant (she knows about our issues) and I almost feel like it's being rubbed in my face. I know I have a child already but it still kills me to have to look at her, or any other pregnant woman...has anyone else ever gone thru this? I've considered telling my husband that I need to be around her less because I get really depressed around her but I don't want to ruin my relationship with her because I am happy for her too. It just hurts too much to be around her right now. Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks! :o)

Answer 1

I'm sure your sister-in-laws world is revolving around this big impending addition to her family; when you were pregnant you probably remember that being the main focus of your conversations as well. Just as child-free adults tend to get a bit annoyed when we refer to our infants and toddlers by how many MONTHS old they are, like there is no difference between age one and two, as well as all their accomplishments. We're proud, aren't we!?!? :)
One may hope she'd have the common sense to make an effort to minimize her pregnancy a bit when she's around you, but some people don't even realize they're doing anything wrong. The excitement takes over! If the two of you have a good relationship, I'm sure she wouldn't be intentionally going out of her way to rub your nose in it. At least I would hope not!
I fell in love with a wonderful man about six months ago who adores me and loves my two year old son as his own, but he does not want kids of his own for various reasons. My dream of having more than one child is in a complicated state right now, and everytime I see a pregnant woman or hear about someone I know becoming pregnant, it makes me yearn for it that much more, so I know where you're coming from, minus the added battle of infertility, which I'm sure makes this situation that much more difficult for you.
Talk to your husband about how you're feeling; keeping open communication in your marriage is always important, but is essential when going through a particularly difficult time such as this.
Good luck with everything!

Answer 2

My sister is pregnant with her first, and I feel a little jealous (even though I already have 6 year old twins). but I'm not jealous in a bad way - I don't think at least. But ya, thoughts go through my mind about how badly I'd love to have another baby, and even how she's going to be getting all the attention now, which will be weird since I've had it for 6 years. I was the one that everybody was always trying to help.

I think you should just talk honestly with your sister-in-law. Let her know how much you love her and how happy you are for her, but it's ok to tell her that it's hard for you to look at her or be around her because you so desperately want another baby. SOmetimes it helps to just release it and be honest. Your feelings are perfectly normal, but don't let it eat away at you and turn you into an angry bitter person. Realize that your problem isn't about HER at all, it's YOU and your infertility problems.

And don't ask her to stop talking about her pregnancy, that's not fair - the world doesn't revolve around you. This is the MOST exciting time of her life, and she has every right to enjoy as much as she wants.

Answer 3

its perfectly normal to feel jealous. I'm going through the same thing now since I just miscarried 1 month ago. My sister-in-law is pregnant and got pregnant a few weeks after me, so I was jealous. Now, she's helped me through a lot of my depression since she also miscarried a few months ago. I've been so thankful that she's been there and she tries not to talk too much about her pregnancy, but I told her I was okay with it, since she understands how I feels and doesn't rub it in.
On the other hand, my husband also has a friend who's gf is pregnant (also got pregnant around the same time I did), and I'm terribly jealous. I can't stand being around them and although she doesn't talk about being pregnant and is still pretty early (so she's not showing yet), I'm just uncomfortable being around them.
Tell your husband that you need time to be alone and cope with your situation. He may get upset (mine is very upset with the way I'm acting), but sometimes men don't understand the feeling (since women are the ones who feel the baby in them).
AND on another note, just be faithful that maybe there is still a chance something could happen. You never know, the lord works in mysterious ways!

Answer 4

Hi, I miscarried after 3 months and it was really traumatic. I couldn't even look at a baby. Now it's all i think about and i'm super jealous of not just my friends' babys but pretty much anyone walking around in the general public with one. :) i have none and i'm almost 30. I can't talk to my fiancee about it either. I don't want to push him and cause tension, and he thinks a biological clock is an accessory. So hang in there, that green eyed monster Jealousy will leave you alone soon enough. Try having a nice cold cocktail on a hot day in front of her. If she's not jealous of that.. at least you get to enjoy it!!

Answer 5

It is a normal feeling to be slightly jealous of another women who is carrying a child when you desperatley want to. I understand completely. It has to be hard, because it is someone you care about too.
I too was told I'd never have another chid, but the mind is a strange thing, as soon as you stop trying, like me, you'll get pregnant.
Just try to give the conception a rest for a month or two, focus on the summer and spending time with your family, once your body relaxes, I bet you'll conceive.
:)
Good luck.........baby dust to you *.~*.~

Answer 6

As someone who's adopted, I don't think that you should feel jealous over someone else. Just becuase you can't concieve a child yourself, for one, doesn't mean that it's not possible. You two could just be hitting a rough spot right now.

Another reason you shouldn't be jealous, is because adoption is still a legitimate choice you have. My parents always loved me as their own, and I had a wonderful life.

Even if I were to meet my biological parents, I'd still know who my real parents were - the ones who raised me.

Don't let yourself get down over something like this, becuase there just isn't any point at all.

I don't think you'll be jealous of her when she's spending 18 hours on the hospital bed, screaming her lungs out in firey, twisting agony.

Answer 7

It is only because you want another child of your own. I would not use the word jelious though.... maybe hurt and upset that you are not pregnant as YET! In 1993 I lost my son to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, I did not know about it until it happened to me. I didn't smoke or anything that may have contributed to the SIDS. But I know it took me 9 years to finally get pregnant again. But during the nine years my friends and even sisters who were having babies, it just made me want to have another one but it just was not happening. We went to fertility, and everything checked out alright. Doctor just said I must be mentally blocking out having a child, because of what has happened last time. Anyway, one time in 1998 I went to my friend Bertha's Baby shower and during the gift opening part, when she opened the present from me I just started crying! And just had to leave the party, Talk about being hurt and embarred for crying. Anyway you will be blessed and you may have another baby. Just have faith. Hope that helped you, it is alright to be hurt and upset. It's part of Life. Best wishes and I hope you have another baby

Answer 8

I was terribly jealous of a friend who got pregnant. She and I both have PCOS and when she announced that she was pregnant, it was like I was all alone and she had left me. It was hard being around her.

Sadly she lost the baby, which made me feel even worse. Yet when she got pregnant for the second time, I did not feel jealous at all.

In a strange way, your sister-in-law is paying you a compliment. She could actually hide the pregnancy details from you and try not to mention it to spare you feelings. This may make you feel worse and make you feel like you are being pushed out.


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Answer 9

i'm basically 9 weeks on wednesday... yet I do have an analogous subject. My older sister is presently pregnant too due beginning of july. and because she found out i'm pregnant she has been no longer something yet impolite. I even had a threatened miscarriage final week and as quickly as I observed as her to tell her each thing grew to become into ok she stated "uh huh yeah for now". So that's gotten pretty undesirable. i'm able to't fix the issue and that i do no longer think of which you would be waiting to the two. however the main suitable i'm able to do is keep in mind misery loves company and in line with danger it is the reason they attempt to disillusioned up. i attempt to easily concentration on my little angel and it helps me to keep in mind that down the line each and all the drama will pass away and our little valuable infants will nonetheless be here. attempt to no longer rigidity. it extremely is worse then something for our infants. good success for you i desire all of it works out nicely!

Answer 10

You need to realize how she feels. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you act and feel if your were her?? You would probably act the same way. It is very hard, I know....Enjoy her being pregnant...Buy little baby things for her. Help her when they are born. Try to be more understanding that she is going to be a mommy and she isn't doing anything to hurt you personally. I am sorry you can't conceive but there are other ways to have a baby.