My husband and I have only been married for two weeks, he works a second job (only about 10 hours a week) and he wants to keep his whole paycheck to spend on fishing stuff. We arent struggling but it would be nice to have the extra money to put towards a down payment on a house. Am I being unreasonable by asking him to share this money with me?
2007-06-12 07:11:18 · 29 answers · asked by kelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nope...you aren't. Let him get something for his tackle box every so often. Best part about this is hand him a catalogue or ask him what is it he specifically needs or wants but is hesitant on purchasing because of the cost. Get a handful of these ideas from him. After all...I'm sure he has abirthday and loves getting alittle something at Christmas.
2007-06-12 07:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Are you also working? MOney is always an issue when it comes to marriages. My husband and I talked alot about the financial aspects of the marriage before we actually got married. We share everything and we both decide together how much should be saved, for vacation etc. I still let him buy a new computer, games etc. Let the guy have a life and some fun!
Take Note : If you are a housewife, yes yuo cook and clean and do the laundry - that is sort of you job. Your husband : He goes out in the morning to work and earn- that is his job.
Now, he has a 2nd job where he works 10 hours. What are you doing?
Your husband probably feels that he should not be using his FT paycheque for fun and thus he is working those extra hours to help pay for his fishing trip. Is that the only thing he enjoys? Leave him be and if you think you would like to start saving for a down payment, I suggest you talk to your husband about it without suggesting that he uses the money he earns on his 2nd job. Why dont you get a 2nd job if you are already working. Yuo have only been married for 2 weeks and you are already starting to nag. Give the guy a break and get a 2nd job. That way you can use the money from your 2nd job to go shopping for things you like and yuo can call it even
2007-06-12 14:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by SG GAL 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You've been married for 2 weeks and already you are telling him what to do with his money, the new didn't last long with you. As long as he is providing for you from his full time job, why are you concerned with what he is making at something that he only works at 10 hours a week? The cash flow from 10 hours cant be enough to even put a dent in the down payment, so let him buy his fishing gear. Perhaps you should find something extra to do with your time so that you can make that little extra personal spending money and wont have to dip into the joint account to purchase your wants. Sorry for being rude, but sometimes the money really is his.
2007-06-12 14:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you mean, "share with you"? Don't you guys have joint accounts and everything? How are you handling your finances? If you have separate accounts, then you should probably set up a joint account where both of you contribute a certain amount each month (for bills etc), as well as a joint savings account where you also contribute a set amount (for a downpayment on a house or anything else like this). The rest goes to your separate accounts to spend as each of you wishes. There will always be items that one of you wants to spend money on, and the other feels it's frivolous or unnecessary - neither of you should expect to micro-manage the other's spending down to a penny. But a general strategy should be set by both of you - the long-term goals, the more immediate objectives, the amount to be saved each month are all things to be discussed.
2007-06-12 14:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You aren't being unreasonable at all. When you married, you agreed to share a life together. Allowing him to make decisions like this without your input is bound to backfire on your relationship in the future. Now, if you had agreed to his idea that would be a different story; but it sounds like he's trying to call the shots alone on this one.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk about how you feel disrespected about this arrangement. I can't imagine it would be okay to him if you won the lottery and made all the decisions on how your prize was to be spent.
Talk it over! You may decide to let him continue for a while with the understanding that there should be a limit, especially since you're working to buy a home or if an emergency arises.
Good luck and God bless!
2007-06-12 14:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by vanessamaypan 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If its his 2nd job for his hobbies then its not really taking away from the bills or saving. You could get a job and put your check into a savings account for purchasing a home....He should have a portion aside for his hobbies, since he has another job. Have some fun with him make him a bet that he can't go without buying fishing stuff for three months (just an example) or learn how to fish with him that should be fun... good luck
2007-06-12 14:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As long as he's doing what he needs to do regarding taking care of his responsibilities at home, let him have the extra money. If's you're just talking about $100.00 or so, it's not that big a deal. If we're talking $300, maybe he would be open to taking half and putting the other half in a savings account. If you were lacking somewhere, unable to pay bills or buy food, then it would be different. Husbands need to feel like they have something of their own, too. And you may find that he'll think more often of getting you gifts to show his appreciation.
2007-06-12 14:30:14 · answer #7 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
10 hours a week..Im guessing he's not bringing home thousands?!!
Get you a 2nd job,making more than him and say you're keeping your money as well.
My husband fishing to and does tournaments...sooo I know how you feel.His check goes direct deposit.He normally keeps less than $40 on him.Now if he wants something for fishing he just goes and gets it lol
Let him keep his 10 hr a week money for fishing but no more.Believe me you'll be better off.My husband just bought a new reel n rod at the tune of $500.......................I wish he had a 10 hr week job and he can keep that for fishing junk lol
Lighten up.You've been married 2 weeks and already trying to control him.Eventually he will get the picture that you guys will need to purchase a home and get more with the program.
The rate you're going,you'll be buying yourself a divorce.
2007-06-12 15:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by ...Tammy... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ideally he would want to use the extra money on nice things for the both of you but if he took a second job solely to have money for his hobbies and you knew this was why he had the second job then he has the right to do with it whatever he wants. As long as he didn't mislead you and he is willing to use the extra income for nessessities if needed you don't get a say.
2007-06-12 14:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by Neka 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You aren't struggling, he should be able to keep that money. I mean how much can it possibly be after taxes? $100/week If you needed it for bills I would say maybe put half towards bills and half towards his playtime, but he works extra to be able to have that money. Don't take it from him.
This is something you should have discussed before getting married btw.
Money is the #1 reason for divorce, infidelity is #2.
2007-06-12 14:20:38 · answer #10 · answered by RanaBanana 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're married and should have the same goals in mind. It is not unreasonable to ask him to save some of the extra money for a house.
That is how my wife and I got the nice house we have. Set a goal and both of you work for it - remember you are a team!!!!
2007-06-12 16:56:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋