What can you do to support a family member, friend, or coworker who is coming out of the closet?

Answer 1

I personally can relate to this. My husband (now my ex) came out 3 years ago. I didn't know for 9 months after he left me. We had been married for 23 years and have 3 adult children. I found out from our oldest child and I called him to say that I was disappointed that he couldn't come to me and tell me. It was difficult at first but I have known him since I was 5 years old and know his family well. I told him that I accepted him the way he was, that he was always welcomed to the house and that I didn't regret getting married. My cousin (she's a lesbian) sent me a book to better understand why he did what he did. It is called Just Tell the Truth by Dr. Terry L. Norman. This book helped me tremendously. It has been 3 years now and we still have a good relationship. I can still call him anytime and talk about the kids and I think we will always be friends.

Answer 2

Well, depending upon the situation at hand, will depend upon exactly how much support you are going to have to provide. Meaning, if this is just a single young person (since both men and women come out of closets!) then chances are all you have to do is try to be understanding to make that person feel comfortable as if everything were "okay," as well as reach an understanding so that both you and this person are comfortable - since there is no reason for you to have to do all of the understanding - this person needs to know to what extent you will support them in their decisions.

However, if this person coming out of the closet is perhaps in a different age bracket and may have family commitments or may even be ending a relationship then the level of support is on a much grander scale - meaning that if children of this person are involved then definitely assistance in providing guidance to the children in being a good example and role model to them, perhaps even seeking intervention from a counselor, and most definitely always keeping an open door!

Coming out is not such a big thing anymore - men and women are just throwing that closet door open and practically JUMPING out these days! The only problem is, when that door opens to a wife/husband and children!

Oh well, wouldn't life be GRAND in a perfect world?

Don't worry too much. Life has a pretty good way of resolving itself - even when it seems like it is coming to an end. Something else usually ends up happening to take the attention away from the situation to make it seem like it was nothing at all!

Answer 3

Ask them why they were in the closet. Closets are dusty and dark and usually crowded. I store old books in one of my closets and it's kind of a nice smell but I wouldn't want to stay in that closet all the time.

So they will need help regaining their muscular coordination because they have probably been in a cramped position with limited mobility. They should probably wear sunglasses for a while so they can adjust to the light. They will need a shower.

If it was a co-worker, I would ask them if they found what they were looking for in the closet. Sometimes it's hard to find where something is stored in an office or warehouse or other kind of workplace.

That's how I understand this question. I see no reason to give a special meaning to words like closet, gay, pride or pink. If the question had been phrased "How can you support a family member, friend or coworker who is revealing their homosexuality?", I would have given a different answer.

Answer 4

Nothing Do Not Make A Big Deal Out Of It If They Want Support They Will Ask For It Chances Are They Are More Intelligent Than U And I Put Together So You Just Watch What You Do And What You Say In Their Presence After All They Are More In Touch With Their Feminen Side As Well As Masculin Both Males And Females! Just Allow Them To Be! Your Not Going To Change The World By Being Mean Or Nice Be Your Self! Master Of All Able Paul.

Answer 5

Oh, well that is interesting.

When I came out of the closet, I found very little support from anyone. However, a good friend helped me.

1: Talk to them let them know you are there for them.

2: Educate them as much as possible, let them know they are normal people. But do not try to cross walls they are uncomfortable with to quickly.

3: Help them come out of the closet by being a partner in strength. Be with them when they tell others, if they need that support. However do not tell others if they do not want you to.

4: Love them, remember that they have not changed, they are still the person that you love, with just a bit more.

5: Be supportive. Love breaks all bonds.

Answer 6

It happens to be what it is in their life then that is the way it should be excepted. If there is a lot of love and understanding then there shouldn't be a problem. Each to his/her own. If that person is your other half then you would have to be there through thick or thin. If it is just a friend again be there for them. Tell them not let others rule their life, speak up, get it out and over with. If the family don't like it. too bad so sad. It's not what they do in their personal life it is how they feel about you as a person. If being gay makes a difference, then that's their loss isn't it. Choose wisely when telling the family, as emotions can take its told on some people and be prepared for the negatives. I had worked with gay people and they are very nice, loving and caring people. It's what is in the heart that counts, what you do behind closed doors your business.
Then take it cool with the affections till the family gets use to this as it is a difficult thing for some to take. Know where your limits are with your friend or whom ever it is, when it comes to outward affections in front of family and friends as some people can't accept that right away.
Sending you a hug for good luck.

Answer 7

This would depend on what closet they are coming out of. You did not specify that. Thus if the question is a joke, gotcha..

If a person is gay or lesbian I think open admission would be very hard, however honesty is the best policy. 1. I would not take a partner to meet them to share the news. Just sit down and tell them. . As friends we can be there for the person, so that when the person needs someone a friend , should be a true friend.. Family expectations are so hard to live up to. One would think if family members really know one another, they would already have an idea. If a person is going to open up, be totally honest, if family members turn away, did they really have them at all ?? Good question hard to answer, but if one needs to share all their lives with their families, and families and friends turn away, did they really have them to start with?? One to think on.. Sorry I have no down pat answer, am not sure anyone does.. Maggie G.

Answer 8

One of the hardest things for GLBT person to do is actually say the words. The fear of rejection is so great, even in this day and age. I am lucky that I had/have such a supportive family. I know that there are many others who are not as lucky and some even lose their families and friends over it. This is the main part of the fear.

Once the person does come out, there is this huge sense of relief. It is literally like a weight lifted off of you. The sooner that I person "comes out," the sooner that they can get on with living their lives. What I tried to tell my friends when they had that "deer in the headlights" look, was that I am the exact same person now that I was five minutes ago before you knew. I have not changed. Also, the phrase that I tell people over and over again is, "Being gay is not "what" I am, it is only a small part of "who" I am." And it is a small part.

My mother and I just talked about the other night about this. She gets upset that people still have this negative views about the GLBT community. She thanked me for always being willing to talk about it and helping her be informed. I think that is one of the biggest problems out there; straight people just do not understand. I tell my friends and family that anytime that they have questions, just to ask and I will be happy to answer them. I have been to one gay pride parade and it was in Chicago in 2000. There were straight parents walking with their GLBT children, there were straight kids walking with their GLBT parents, and a host of others walking in support of the GLBT community. Then there were the floats with those in drag, in leather, flamboyant, etc... I looked at my friend and said, "Watch, those images will be what is played on the news tonight." And of course I was right. We walked to a diner close by after the parade and, sure enough, the most flamboyant people were shown. THIS is the image that the media portrays to the people and so I cannot completely blame others for their ignorance. Also, for some reason, the first image that pops into people's minds is "oh, they have sexual relations with someone of the same sex?" Why is this? I do not meet a straight person and think, "hmmm, she sleeps with a man." Why is whom a person has legal, consexual situation with make a difference?

It is sad that this (coming out) is still an issue and a process. In my ideal world, this would not happen. You would be gay/straight and it would not matter. Straight people do not have to "declare" themselves straight, so why do GLBT folks? There has been huge progress in the last few decades but we still have a long way to go.

Please keep an open mind when someone comes out to you. Remember that the person did not change in the thirty seconds that it took to tell you.

Answer 9

There are two parts to this and both answers are quite different.

If it's a friend or a family member, I believe there should be a lot of support, a lot of listening and a lot of caring. Let them know that your care or love for them has not changed in the slightest and as a friend or loved one, that your care, concern and love is unconditional. The real key is active listening.

In the workplace, I believe that it needn't be brought up, no more than heterosexuality should be brought up. As an owner of a business, I make sure that my organization is a positive environment where no one should be made to feel uncomfortable.

I would not condone anyone straight or gay discussing their sexuality. The workplace is for work. If employees have forged friendships where the discussion of sexuality is appropriate, then they should do that away from the workplace and away from any other employees. This then becomes the first part of the answer.

Answer 10

I guess the best way to treat a family member, friend or coworker who is coming out of the closet is to just be there as a friend and treat them the same as always. Their sexual preference really has no bearing on your relationship with them either way. If they are family, they will continue to be family, keep on loving them as always. If they are a friend, that certainly is no reason to stop being their friend. If they are a coworker, then this should have no bearing on your relationship with them at work. Their performance at work is not related to their sexual feelings.

In conclusion, just treat them as you always did before. I am sure it is a tough time for them and try to be understanding. I think they would appreciate the normalcy that you can bring by not making it a big deal. It really isn't, it is just the way they need to live their life to be happy.

Answer 11

For some reason, i don`t really care either way if someone is gay or not.

The thing that is important is " Does he/she accept me as a friend" - just as i accept that person as a friend.
Color, sexual preference etc. all becomes a minor thing if our personalities get along.

I do not think we should treat people who have just come out of the closet (weird term btw.) any different than we did before. What has changed? Nothing. And, when it is a close family member, chances are i know (or suspect) already.

I have a couple of gay friends , and i treat them as normal - so why should anyone else act differently? I see no point to that.

Now, having said that, the thing i do object to is the open display of sexuality that some people think they need to do.
Either in a gay pride parade (Amsterdam for example) or in some parks. But, this goes for gays and non-gays. Sex should be kept private. A kiss, holding hands - no problem.
But be nice, there could be kids around.