I am married -and recently my first love contacted me out of the blue. Its been 6 years since we had contact. Now I find myself wanting to talk to him and see him again. We have alot in common and so much history and I see so much in him that want and I don't in my husband. I can't help but thinking if this all happened for a reason and he is the one, but at the same time, I'm not ready to end my marriage. How did this get so confusing for me if I really loved my husband ? Oh, and this guy is still in love with me and has been since we were teenagers. How do I push that away? I have a fear of hurting my family but am I sacrificing my happiness just to keep the peace? What do I do?
2007-06-12 05:06:55 · 8 answers · asked by JUSTME 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what feels good sweetie you only live once.
2007-06-12 05:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be very careful. You made a choice to marry your husband and should work to make that marriage the best it can be. Sometimes it is easy to look back and be in a kind of fantasy world rather than looking at reality. There was a reason you were not together, there was a reason you married your husband. Do not think that this is a "meant to be" kind of thing. If he says that he has been in love with you all this time, and still is he needs to grow up and be responsible. You are a married woman. You need to concentrate on the things that lead you to marring your husband. Not looking at the things that are different between the two. Also, you need to not spend time with the other guy alone. If you choose to see him, have him meet with you and your husband. I think if you give this some time, you will find that it is a passing thing and shouldn't make major life changes because of it. First loves are always hard to deal with. Good Luck.
2007-06-12 05:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by suzieQue 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are confused because the man that you married was not the man that you really love.
But is leaving your marriage worth all the pain that you will cause your family? Do you think that you will have happiness with the man that you are wanting to be with?
In marriages, you make sacrafices. You have good times and you have the bad times. But with vows that were made, you honor those vows and not go back on your vows because someone from your past came along.
You married your husband for a reason and if that reason had to do with you wanting to be married as oppose to having a lasting future with him, then you need to get out of your marriage and allow your husband to be with someone who will love him the way he should be loved.
2007-06-12 05:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Been there, know what you're going through. My 1st love actually called me the night before my wedding. Need I say more?
As to what you should do? Well, you're married now and it's to late to do anything with the other guy unless/until you get a divorce. You can't be expected to turn off real feelings because you're married. Real Love doesn't turn off and on like a faucet. It doesn't make you a bad person because you have these feelings.
My marriage was completely and totally loveless, though I don't think it had anything to do with the 1st love thing. I just wish I hadn't gotten married to the woman I did. She went into bridezilla mode and never came out.
2007-06-12 05:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like GOD is giving ur marriage a test.....if u and ur ex was ment to b then yall would have never split up and u would have married him.....and if u really love ur husband u wouldnt b confused right now..u would throw all those old feelings away...there is a reason y yall split up u just need to remember that ...he is an old memory from the past..u have a beautiful future to look forword too...let bye gones be bye gones.....good luck hope u pass the test
2007-06-12 05:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by lil country gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confused because you aren't thinking.
You are trying to do what feels right.
Your emotions are great indicators for how you feel, but they don't tell you the truth.
If the man was your Ex he was your Ex for a reason.
The past is a nice place to visit, but each of us has chosen not to live their and have moved on with our lives.
You need to think why you married your husband.
Was it because you love him and want a future with him?
Or
Did you marry just to be married?
As for a reason for why all this is happening.
Every thought of it as test of character?
How happy do you think you will be if you keep jumping from one relationship to another? Running away from your life instead of facing it head on. What control can you have in your life if you keep giving up your control. In all honesty, we make our own happiness.
Now grow up and make decision and stick to your decision.
Flopping back and forth only causes pain as you are currently aware of.
2007-06-12 05:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
remember these words: for Better or Worse, for Richer or Poorer, in Sickness and in Health....ring a bell?
What is happiness? Can we truly be happy always. In my worse place, I can find happiness. I have read stories where men and women enslaved in POW camps can/have found something to be happy about.
My honest feeling, you are being greedy. Greed is a dark road where many people get hurt and hurt others. I suggest you re-evaluate what is important in your life. What are your priorities? The grass may look greener on the other side...but it still needs mowed and the seasons change. Think about what you are doing.
P.S. you should be in fear....that tells me you have a conscious.
2007-06-12 05:28:42 · answer #7 · answered by Cristi Brewer-Allen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Throw him away. Throw him out of your life.
Now you have got a family to keep, to look after, to care for, to use your energy for, a family to build up NOT pull down!
You, two, didn't get married then. OK. You have got your own concerns now that no one but you will care about.
2007-06-12 05:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by hy003002 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋