Help me settle a question about who has done more wrong?

Question

No horrible answers please if you can, its upsetting enough.
Scenario - boy and girl date for 5 years from age 19, girl finishes with boy on three occasions and sleeps with another man, cheated once by kissing other man. Girl had brief fling with man while couple were on a break, boy and girl get back together. - Boy and girl split up again, boy starts seeing other girl. Original girlfriend doesn't know this and wants boy back, boy sleeps with original girl then says he is seeing girl 2. Boy plays both girls off against each other, original girl falls pregnant, boy still sleeps with both girls, lying to one then the other in turn, 2 years this goes on for. Boy tells original girl that he can't take her back and be a family with their baby because she slept with other man when they were not together. This is not a question of who is more wrong, but please make your comments, this is about man thinking that he has done nothing wrong and it is just deserved,

I don't necessarily mean who is more wrong, just boy blames original girl for what she has done and she feels totally to blame for their family not being together, he cannot accept he has done anything wrong at all!??!

Answer 1

Doesn't matter what he thinks. Both girls need to catch a clue and leave him alone. Both parties in the primary relationship screwed up. Now that it's over, and believe me it's over, she needs to focus on raising her child and he needs to hope he doesn't catch an STD until he learns how better to be an actual man and not thinking with his penis.

Answer 2

It sounds like the boy is angry with his original girlfriend and is trying to punish her. 19 was still young to have a serious boyfriend/girlfriend so it's ok that they split up and got back together etc. i think that because the boy sees the fact his original girlfriend had a fling or two when on they were on a break as an act of cheating he has become angry and his playing girlfriend one and two off against each other is his way of getting his own back. if he can't accept girlfriend 1 with baby as his family and finish seeing girlfriend 2 then girlfriend 1 should accept this no matter how hard it seems because it wont be half as hurtful of sharing him with someone else and him obviously having no respect for her. let him know it's all or nothing and leave it at that, if he wants to be with girl 1 and baby he will make the right decision. If not walk away and make a new start it's better than having half a life with half a boyfriend.

Answer 3

Both people have done wrong.

It was wrong for the ex to cheat on the man, but it was wrong for him to do the same thing to her. It was also her mistake to keep dating him when she eventually found out that he was with this other girl. She knew that he wasn't giving that other girl up, so what makes her think that any of it would change? His telling her that her sleeping with another man while they were not together is the reason for them not getting together is just an excuse. They weren't going out, so it's not like he should dictate her life for her. They both sound like they're playing games, but the guy sounds like he's trying to get revenge at her for the past betrayal.

The best bet is for both of them to leave the other alone & not pursue a relationship. The ex should try to get child support, but ONLY child support. She now has a responsibility to her child. She has to show him/her that such actions are not good, & to give that child a responsible male role model.

EDIT:

The girl shouldn't worry about "keeping the family together". The guy is a d*ckhead & obviously doesn't want to be a family. He may be the sperm donor, but he obviously isn't that baby's father. He isn't mature enough to admit that he did something wrong & is trying to make it seem like what he did was right b/c the girl cheated on him first. Would the girl let one of her friends go after a guy like this? No. She would tell her to ditch the dud.
Just b/c he is the biological father doesn't mean that she has to try to hold onto him. Such a relationship would only end up in tears & the baby would get the wrong idea about how relationships should be & do the exact same thing when s/he gets older.
Tell this girl to leave that loser alone & go find a real man. It sounds like she regrets her past actions & really wanted to make things right by this guy & all he did was p*ss on her. She got pregnant & he sounds like he doesn't even want to do right by the child. That man will never be a good father to that child, & he would never be a good man for this girl.

There is no salvaging this relationship. Please make sure that this girl knows this. There are much better guys out there. Tell her to go to church, attend a night class, or go to a single parents group. Those are the places where decent single men like to go. Be wary of guys that she may meet in bars, the internet, or in clubs. Those are meat markets & all they want is sex most times.

Answer 4

This is really a question of why two people could not face the fact that they were not meant for each other. Breaking up and getting back together over and over is a sign of a bad relationship.

A lot of negative feelings develop from this type of ongoing chaos. These feelings develop into a lack of respect. The boy finally lost all respect for the girl and decided that he could do whatever he wanted. He now feels like he does not have to account for his actions.

Neither party is right here and neither party should be proud of their actions.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 5

Both have done just as much wrong to each other and I see no other solution but to break off completely from each other and start fresh with new people. There will always be resentment between the two over affairs they had on each other, hidden or open and can really be a cause for domestic problems in the future.

Answer 6

Well I don't believe in one person doing more wrong the other, what I think is the problem here is that the two of you have grown apart and just are ready for other things in life it is not no one fault it is just something that happens. You guys should just be friends for the child's sake.Sometime we tend to stay or at least try to stay together because we familiar with each other but that is the same reason why we should part.

Answer 7

Its not a question of who is in the wrong or not. The original girl should decide wheather she is willing to keep putting up with the boy and his BS. He is getting off on playing the two of you against each other. But if you really would like toknow yeah he is completly in the wrong.

Answer 8

He's plain wrong but both people sound like they're immature and not too bright. There's no love there but unfortunately a child was brought into this nonsense and someone has to step up and end the cycle of stupidity by growing up. The other may not follow but that doesn't matter- one can only help oneself when it comes down to it.

Answer 9

well why wouldn't u want to be there for your baby no matter what don't let the child suffer it's not about who did more wrong you both were wrong and ur getting what u both deserve now talk this out and get back together cuz u still love each other and u wanna do what's right for the baby

Answer 10

This is like a soap opera.
I think they should both go their own way and stay out of each others lives.
They both did wrong.One as much as the other.Both are guilty.
The only way they should stay involved is through their child and that's it.No one deserves to be treated this way.Man or woman.There was never any respect between them or this would have never gone on.