I'm going to kill my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

Ok, not literally, but I'm so f*cking pissed off right now I can't see straight! I want to divorce him!

Alright see I got in this argument with him...its was hypothetical it was stupid...and today he woke up and he deleted my book! I was writing a book and I had 57 pages finished and he deleted it off my computer out of spite!!!! he deleted it then emptied the recycle bin! I can't believe he'd do this to me!!! I'm so angry right now I don't even know what to do.

I'm taking my kids to a hotel. Maybe some of you don't look at this as a big deal, but my whole life I've wanted to be a writer and this was my first book and 57 pages is a lot ok and it was on my laptop I didn't print out a copy. He killed my dream. I'm taking my 2 kids to a hotel for the night. Like he'd care anyways. He's too busy sulking!!! He shouldn't be sulking I should!

Any additional advice? I'm going to lose my mind...

Maybe some computer person can get it back...does anybody know who I should call?

Answer 1

I would back up your files someplace safe from now on, like a free online service, and then have a serious heart-to-heart with your hubby. It could be simple communication and honest expression can clear this up, and you owe it to your kids to try. But I do believe he owes you some solid explanations.

Answer 2

You have a right to be angry.....and to need some space and cooling off time....
I don't know how old your kids are, but dragging them to a hotel might not be the best thing for them. Do you have other options like grandparents or maybe a sleepover at a friend's house? It might be less traumatic for them. You don't want to drag them through whatever's going on with you and their dad.

Now for your husband...he's a schmuck. And sounds like a controlling one too. I would think he deleted your book because he feels threatened by the freedom or success you might find with it. You should address the issues directly. Perhaps the two of you could go to counseling, and if he won't go, maybe you can go alone to find ways to deal with him.

As for the book, there are ways to retrieve it, but I'm not sure how to do it. Continue writing even if you have to start over. Your dreams are not dead, sometimes you just have to backtrack and begin again. 57 pages is an accomplishment, and I know you can do it again! Writing is a gift. Keep it up! (and don't strangle the hubby...it'd be a waste of good energy!)

Answer 3

You need to take some time to sit back and get some perspective on this.
You both should have taken the time to sit down and talk about what you were arguing about in the first place and get the problem resolved.Sulking and arguing have never solved a problem.There has to be communication and without that,there is nothing.Children sulk and argue.Adults talk to each other.
I feel badly for you that he destroyed your book but it's not the end of the world.You must remember some of the content at least and who knows .........if you start all over it may even be better than the first time.
You need to calm down and relax so maybe the hotel is a good idea for tonight.Get your head straight and your priorities in line.Just don't get your children involved as it's not their issue.Keep in mind that they love their father
You may both need help to learn how to talk to one another.I'm sure he must feel badly about what he did even though he may not admit it to you.
Get your head on straight and then decide what to do.Divorce is not always the answer.
I wish you both good luck in whatever your decision may be.

Answer 4

take some time and let yourself cool off. then when you're ready, tell him how you feel but also hear his side of it. it's not worth it to throw away your marriage and make your kids suffer cuz of an argument over something hypothetical. yes, it was very immature and inconsiderate of him to delete your book after all your hard work. but there is hope. they always say that nothing is deleted forever from your computer.....even if he empties the recycle bin. have a company like geek squad look at your computer. they may be able to recover the file. just remember to back up your files on a thumb drive next time in case this happens again. good luck!

Answer 5

I'm so sorry to hear this. Try to stay calm because you are both in a bad frame of mind right now. Without the benefit of the details of your "hypothetical" situation that caused the argument, I think it was extremely mean of him to delete your manuscript. Don't let this stop you from realizing your dream. Start over and this time, put the info on a disk and make sure you have as many back-ups as possible, including printing out whatever you wrote. If it means putting the info in a safety deposit box, do it. No man can kill your dream unless you allow him to do so. Good luck.

Answer 6

He deserves a beat down for erasing your book. I have a history of being childish -it's a guy thing- but I would never do that to my wife for fear of being shot. I don't think you need to pack up the kids and go to a hotel, but he should get acquainted with the couch for a night or two.

By the way...I too am a writer. Always save your work in two places and try and print it out once a week, just in case something does happen and you have a backup plan. Good luck on your book and with your man.

Answer 7

Try recovering it from your delete items the recovery file is still backed up the book will never totally be deleted from your computer. you can recover deleted items that have been deleted from your recovery file just the same as regularly deleted items. Also, as far as the fight get over it your husband did that because you aren't spending time with him continuing to instigate things will only make them worse. You guy's need to get some help there are a lot of people like you that are also very co-dependent. Stop making your petty little book more important than your marriage and spend loving time with your husband both of you will have to work hard to get past the little idiotic fights you are having

Answer 8

OMG, was this about the whole "who would save in a house fire" thing? He is so immature... make HIM go to the hotel tonight. I would tell him that with this thoughless and selfish act he has chosen who he would REALLY save, himself. Taking away someone's dream like that IS like taking away their life.

I have to say that he sounds like a loser, but maybe hearing about that dad dying triggered something in him... that he COULD die.. he COULD be the one "left behind" in the family (which is supposed to be a solid unit). If you haven't already let him know, I would say that you didn't mean that you would just let him die.. you would try to save him as well... but kids are more helpless and their bodies consume smoke faster. Reassure him that he is an important member of the family, but let him no that his actions today have made him a disruptive member of the family and that that type of behavior is not needed or welcomed.

Answer 9

Oh my god what he did was very childish and way to stupid..
man I hope you don't let him scattered your dreams... You do what you have to.
But I will tell you something if you are going to divorce your husband for this then it is really sad... But I don't know what more he probably have done to you.
So I say if that is going to make you happy then you go for it and move on. But don't turn your back on your dreams.. Fight girl until the end...
hey is there anyways you can talk to your husband and try work somethings out try to find out why he id this.. It seems that you too don't have any communication. And if you do then something is not coming clear. Why not take time off and do thinking instead of divorcing him.. This could help you both out. And while you do this why not consider yourself going into counseling that could help you even better. they have the correct tools you know!
Girl don't worry if you are mad then be mad it is OK for you to react and feel that way but what your husband did was stupid..
Just think about what I said and take time off from him and see if where everything turns about!!! And go for your dreams do let anyone stop you

Answer 10

Yeah go on, kill him :-)

This is a storm in a tea cup and it seems you've lost it. Okay it WAS very mean of him to do as he did, but you can get the book back. Although it's gone to the recycle bin and the bin emptied nothing is ever really deleted from your computer. There's free software available that will recover your files. Do a google search for 'recover deleted files'.

Now... go on... kiss and make up.

Answer 11

I'm a computer person and I can tell you don't power on your laptop or anything until someone can remove your hard disk and boot it through a laptop drive adapter to another PC and run a program like ZAR (zero assumption recovery) or other undeletion utilities. If your disk wasn't very full and you haven't done much with your laptop since chances are pretty good to get it back.

From a marriage side, that's probably one of the meanest things I've heard of from a partner, and you definitely deserve better.