what is the best way for me to handle the my husband wanting a divorce. he will not consider counseling at all.I am already looking fo an apartment to move at the end of June. I love him dearly and he says he loves me but my trust issues are too much an he cant handle it. I am really trying not to call him or text him and tell him that I want it to work .but I aslo think he may think I dont care. so I dont know what to do. should I just take a sit back and let things and watch things unfold or shoul i acctively tell him I want it to work. I dont want to froce or crowd him and yet I want him to know I dont want to leave.help.
2007-06-12 03:17:55 · 10 answers · asked by praise t 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he had been texting other women he met online telling the he loves them and misses them.we talked aout the situation and he said he would stop the texting and I should not go thorugh his phone to save our marriage , which is how I found out about the other women. then a few days ago , I did go thru his phone just out of curiosity and he found out and now wants a divorce.
2007-06-12 03:29:48 · update #1
I am going through the same thing although we are not working it out. I found out he'd been having an affair after I found a text on his phone. He refused to stop seeing her. I found out from some of his family that this is his typical behavior. He's 44 yrs old and in my opinion, if you haven't grown up by then, then you'll never change. I don't want to worry the rest of my married life if he's going to be faithful. Better to cut the ties, work on yourself (counseling does help), and make yourself happy before ever letting anyone come into your life again. It's going to hurt but you will get over it. There's too much to look forward to than be in constant mental anguish.
2007-06-12 04:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on if you have solid proof of evidence that makes you not trust him. If he's doing things that's causing you not to trust him then you have the right to be concern. Don't let him manipulate you to job your concerns because he doesn't want to deal with them. If he's doing these things that's not trustworthy then you need to ask yourself, "why do I want to stay with him". He may have already moved on also that's why he wants to hurry up and get a divorce. So you have a lot to consider.
2007-06-12 10:23:46 · answer #2 · answered by All the way live! 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you don't trust him now, what makes you think you'll just start to trust him again just because of a brief break-up? I'd say go ahead and separate, and if it's true love, time will heal the wounds. If not, carry on with your life.
2007-06-12 10:21:53 · answer #3 · answered by shannie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's apparent that he's not trustworthy and so you're quiet right not to trust him. If you want to stay with him the only choice open to you is to become broad minded enough to permit his dalliance.
I wouldn't recommend it though as it'll eat your heart out - it is mine.
Otherwise just leave him.
2007-06-12 10:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by crow3862000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you've already "forced and crowded" him, deal with the seperation, get counseling/therapy for yourself, work on YOU!, then maybe he will see that you've made progress, and you guys can start again. Did he give you any reasons to have trust issues??
2007-06-12 10:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Lupita 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop going through his phone maybe?!
Have respect for his privacy.
He says the problem is trust issues. HELLO!
2007-06-12 11:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by Joe S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him and then let he think about what you've said for awhile. Why don't you go to counseling alone?
2007-06-12 10:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If his heart is out of the marriage it might be to late. Sorry, good luck!
2007-06-12 10:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by Marygoroun(d) 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should text him or call whenever you want....he is your husband as of right now...prove to him that you are here and your not straying away
2007-06-12 10:23:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would speak up don't become another statistic.
2007-06-12 10:28:57 · answer #10 · answered by mrsknowitall 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋