isn't it strange ..?

Question

my husband & i are separated, & he's seeing someone else (separated 1 1/2 months, dating her since 2 days after the separation). we are currently going through the process of separating all of our stuff -- as in bills, loans, bank accounts, things like that. he refuses to let me take my name off of his car loan b/c it will raise the payments (can't say i blame him, really). but other than that one thing, he wants me off of EVERYTHING .... except the cell phone bill. we have a joint plan, & he knows that i can see all the calls he makes by logging onto the internet, & knows that i HAVE been doing this b/c of his quick entrance into a new relationship. at first, he demanded that we cancell the plan & get our own plans, now he has changed his mind & wants to keep the plans together until the contract ends (1 1/2 years from now). i think it's kind of strange, like he actually WANTS me to see who he's calling? any ideas as to an explanation? its like he wants to keep this one tie to me ....

and i CANT get out of the contract myself, b/c it's in his name, so he has to give me permission to, and he says no everytime i ask him. he said he wants us to stay on that plan together. and he KNOWS it's for 1 1/2 more years and the divorce will be final in 11 more months ... it just doesn't add up for me.

he can't keep tabs on me .. he doesn't have the passcode to long onto the account ... i change it VERY often to prevent this. plus, he has no computer access at all.

Answer 1

I believe its a control issue. He can also check who you are talking to and still has a tie to you for some control for at least the next 1 1/2 years as with the car as well. I would make sure you bring this up with your attorney and get your name off of both these accounts. If he chooses to default for some reason you would still be held liable. Or if he still insists on having the phone have it in your divorce decree that he is fully liable for the bill then for the remainder of the contract. If hes responsible for it then you can choose if you still want to use that phone or you can get another 1 just for yourself with him not on it.

Answer 2

There is a reason in the legal world they call it a "separation" and a "divorce." Unfortunately, as long as you are legally married, bills are BOTH of your responsibility and affect your credit ratings, etc. the same even though you aren't living together.

Even if you take your name off of the cell phone bill, ALL debts incurred during the marriage are the responsibility of both parties.

You can, however, go to an attorney and file for a LEGAL separation, and part of that negotiation is to separate all bills, and come up with an agreed-upon amount that is your responsibility up until the official separation date. After that separation date, his debts are his and yours are yours.

However, before you get to that point, you must file (through the court system) for a legal separation. Marriage is based on love, but it is also a legal, binding contract between two people.

Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, where do you live that you "still" have 11 months for your divorce to be final? Secondly, wasn't your 'cell' phone issue brought into the 'Petitioner Requests' and/ 'Respondents' Request' part of your Dissolution? Thirdly, It's not so strange that he "wants to keep a tie between you"....have you noticed what it will cost if you cancel your 'cell agreement' prior to the time it lapses? Who's going to pay the difference? Pull your head out of the sky!!! It's a divorce with common grounds and sensitive issues. Chances are, if you two can't figure this out now and the Final Judgment is processed.....this 'little' problem can turn into a GIANT one. Nip it in the bud before you have to file a Modification Order for a cell phone issue. Good Luck

Answer 4

I think he wants to be cheap. It cost to get out of a phone contract. This will hurt but he doesn't care about you and the sooner you see that the better off you'll be. I'm really sorry because I know the truth hurts but it's true and the sooner you realize this the faster you can heal. The best advice would be to talk to your divorce lawyer about getting your name off the car and the phone and be done with him using you.

Answer 5

He's the primary person on the contract, and if you find another plan for yourself he's going to end up paying that bill whether you use it or not.
Remember that he can monitor your phone calls too.
I'd get my own plan, and absolutely get your name off of his car payment. Don't share any bills once divorced, bad bad idea.
Your lawyer should stipulate that in your divorce agreement, if your lawyer is any good at all.

Answer 6

Just as you can log on to the Internet and see his calls, he can see yours as well. It seems that both of you, by checking the phone records of the other, are holding on to something. You want a divorce and want to be apart, but want to know what the other person is up to at the same time.

Answer 7

He is watching what you are doing but I wuld not take it as he has any desires to be with you because he is with someone else. Unless you have a way to get your own phone, you cannot stop him from seeing the calls if it is his bill.

Why not let his new girl know he spies on the calls you make, I bet she would not be all that happy

Answer 8

Baba Ramdev and Anna Hazare have caught the mind's eye of the rustic. If any untoward could ensue to them (may be a actual accident), public could accuse the government. So it somewhat is now commonplace.

Answer 9

Cut the ties, car payment, phone everything!!!!!! Causes a lot less aggrivation in the long run. Not to mention it doesn't leave any temptation for the other to snoop into ones personal life. I mean who needs that? If you're snooping you're not moving on with your life now are you?

Answer 10

He started dating her 2 days after the separation? I wouldn't believe that one.