What do you think about a person who loves confrontation all the time?

Question

My husband loves to argue,fuss, not physically fight. He loves to confront people about whatever, he has embarrassed myself and our two kids to the point we can not even hold our heads up in our own neighborhood. Everyone knows he is an A hole. Peolple know that I am totally opposite. I am a peace maker, I let things roll easily, but I am not a push over. I just do not like trouble all the time. And when there is a situation I handle it with character and ethics. My husband is a redneck, for those of you not sure about what a redneck is, a beer drinking,cursing,confrontational loose cannon.Does not matter if women are present and sometimes children.Sometimes I think he's own something.I've tried everything, begging pleading, he thinks I should back him. He's got to be kidding.Help. Any advice.

my husband was not like this 15 years ago, I've noticed it get worse as he ages.And he picks fights with me and the kids as well.He's slowly becomming his dad.

Answer 1

Why are you married to someone like that?

Someone who loves confrontation all the time is just that- they love the fight/the drama. They are not happy unless they are making someone else miserable. They think their thoughts are the right ones and everyone else's does not matter.

Answer 2

I've been in that same situation. My husband is latino (hot blooded). It takes an act of God to fix this. But it also comes from your example too.

I know it's difficult because you can't change anybody but yourself. It took my son passing away (2 months old from SIDS) to slowly but surely change the way he spoke, acted, etc... Today, my husband has become gentler since our daughter was born but I couldn't have done it without God. I prayed and there were times I wanted to leave. But I knew God was faithful and would change the situation.

Sometimes YOU have to put your foot down and just walk away. Give him a chance once you tell him what you need from him. Although your husband is wrong in his actions, you are his wife and you are one with him. It is your job to correct him. Even if it means punishing him by staying at your mom's house or whatever. Something that will show him that something has to change even if it's going to be a slow process. He needs to show progress.

Answer 3

As a reformed ******, all it took me was the realization that all the fun arguing was really just a waste of time and energy. He was that way when you married and made 2 kids with him, the time for tossing that fish back has long expired, sweetheart. But I doubt there's much you can do to change things, and leaving will only irrevocably damage the kids you made with him. Maybe you should hide all his Steve Austin DVDs?

Answer 4

He sounds awful I think he wants all the attention all the time and this is one way of getting it. Problem with people like him after a while they get treated like a joke and no one takes them seriously because they always act that way. I predict he will get worse in the future because he has been allowed to get away with this behaviour and he thinks its okay, your children will follow his example so expect them to turn out like their dad. I would dump him quick.

Answer 5

you need to get out of that relationship.

it doesn't even sound like you really like him. you two are complete opposites of each other (he sounds like a total a**hole and you sound like a very nice person, for one thing).

if you want to end it (and i can't see why you wouldn't) then don't let him stop you. you control yourself so don't let him push you around. just tell him that he's way out of line and that if he's not going to listen to you then you're leaving...

good luck with everything

Answer 6

sounds like its going to get worse .unless ;he gets help .he needs to go and see his Doctor .getting him there ;is another thing .